Chapter 63: Keep Drivin'

Something happened today. It is something that I am really struggling not to worry or freak out about, but it is definitely a struggle. As I mentioned yesterday, I discovered a great new place to spend my lunch break at work: My Mom’s car. Yesterday, I turned the key to the “On” position so I could listen to the radio, but didn’t actually start the car. While it was sitting in this position, I noticed the screen in the middle of the dashboard, (it is a hybrid and has a screen to show various things, like the gas mileage and when it switches from battery to electric,) started flickering, and eventually went blank. A moment later, the radio stopped. I quickly switched it off and took the key out of the ignition. I turned it back on and it did the same thing. I text messaged my Mom to tell her and she seemed unconcerned. I just left it off for the rest of my break and then went back to work. There were no more issues with it, although my Mom suggested I don’t leave it at “On” and actually start the car. Today when I went on my lunch break, I did that instead and didn’t have any problem with it. About an hour later when my Mom went on her break it wouldn’t start at all. My Mom and my sister both checked it on each of their breaks and it still wouldn’t start. I immediately wanted to freak out about this. The last thing we need is to have some sort of expensive repairs done on the car. We can barely afford to pay all of our rent and bills, let alone pay for any issues with the car. My sister came back to work to pick me up and told me she had been reading the car’s manual and said that it was likely that it was in need of a recharge, which is what the car does in the off position in general. She had kind of anticipated that it would be fine by 8pm when my Mom’s shift ended, because it was doing a little bit more each time they checked it. Unfortunately, when my Mom got off, it was still not working. After a little research, we figured out that it would be safe for it to be jump started from my sister’s car. We figured that it couldn’t hurt to give this a try. My sister just picked my Mom up and they are off to give this a try. My fingers are crossed.

Work today was pretty okay. It was a really slow day, in comparison to the rest of the week. It passed really slowly, too, but I spent a good portion of the day talking with my co-workers. We all got into some interesting topical discussions; the type of conversations that have created drama in the workplace recently. Fortunately, the big conversation today mainly revolved around me, (exactly the way I like for conversations to go,) and gay issues. I found out that a few of my co-workers are opposed to gay marriage, or would be very disappointed if they found out one of their kids were gay. I enjoy conversations on this topic because I have the hope of planting the seed of change in these people’s minds. I get along really well with all of my co-workers and they all seem to like me. They also all seem to have been exposed to many gay people in their lives, so I appreciate the fact that I can be the example to them. As silly as it may sound, I try to keep that sort of thing in mind and be the best I can to kind of prove to people that aren’t the most familiar with gay people that we are no different from them. In a lot of ways, I feel like being the only gay people that somebody gets to know or spends time with carries a lot of responsibility with it, and I try to remain aware of that. It could be me that opens up those narrow minds, and I feel extremely grateful to take part in the gay rights movement in that way. Still, it is certainly sad to hear one of my co-workers talking about how disappointed he would be if his son were to turn out gay because he would want him to “be a man.” It really is a shame that there are so many people out there who still think that way. Like Gwen Stefani says, “We’ve got a long way to go.”

After my sister dropped me off at home I decided that tonight was finally the night that I was going to make dinner and have it waiting for my Mom when she got home. I have been telling myself I would do this since Monday, and had yet to actually do it. So, this evening I decided to partake of one of my favorite pastimes while preparing dinner. I threw on one of my DVDs of “The Simple Life,” and watched that while I made dinner. I own 4 of the 5 seasons of the show, and even now, years after the fact, I still pull them out and have mini-marathons. “The Simple Life” was, honestly, one of my favorite TV shows ever. I can still watch episodes from any season and laugh out loud at them, as if they were brand new. I miss those early days of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Not to say that I can’t understand why people complained at the time about how they were “famous for being famous,” but I think at the time the crop of “Celebutantes” that came out really had something to offer. They may not have had great talents in music or acting or any of that, but they were real personalities. I’ve always been a Paris person, but I can definitely say that Nicole Richie was much more of a “character.” That girl is hilarious and engaging and a whole lot of fun to watch on “The Simple Life.” I miss the days of Paris and Nicole and all of their drama. As much as I love “The Hills,” I would take Paris and Nicole over Heidi or Audrina any day. Paris and Nicole were real stars, even if they were just born into it. The people who are around today, who are “famous for being famous,” just don’t have that “it factor” that they did. The one exception to this rule, though, would have to be Lauren Conrad. Adam Divello, creator of “Laguna Beach,” “The Hills” and “The City,” really struck gold with her. She is really the perfect icon for young girls of today. She just seems completely genuine, caring and kind. Even more than that, though, she seems very sensible and responsible. She comes across as a good person, no matter what, and is an excellent example to young girls all over. Unfortunately, like any truly sensible girl, she tired of living her life in front of a camera, and has left “The Hills.” That show completely lost it’s star quality when she left. The remaining cast members, although all appealing in their own ways, simply aren’t genuinely endearing enough to fill the gap left by Lauren. It’s kind of sad. So, I turn to “The Simple Life,” which doesn’t set any kind of positive example for young girls, but is at least genuinely funny and entertaining.

Dinner was pretty much done when my Mom got home. I made this pre-seasoned and prepped barbecue chicken from Winn-Dixie, some Stove Top Stuffing and this really tasty broccoli/cheese rice medley. All boxed or pre-prepared, but it was still a delicious meal. Maybe it wasn’t a lovely meal, as I generally like to prepare, but it tasted good. Plus, it is a good deed for me to make dinner for my Mom. She works hard and doesn’t feel like coming home and cooking afterwards. She is prone to come home and say, “Let’s eat out,” but since we can’t afford that so much, and I get off two hours before her, it is only fair that I should prepare dinner. Plus, I made plenty so that there would be plenty of leftovers for the weekend, since she will be out of town, so long as the car gets started. I am pretty confident that it will be okay. I am not basing this on anything beyond the fact that the Universe is working in my favor and will not allow us to be without a car. If the car were to not work for some reason and needed costly repairs, what would probably wind up happening is that we would have to file my income tax ASAP and use it for that. I would, of course, be willing to do that, but absolutely would not want to. My income tax is intended for saving until the last minute so I can use it for the move to California. It will be the money for me to get by for a little while once I actually get there. Having to use it for anything different is not something I want to do… of course, if it is that or my Mom having a car, as much as I don’t like it, there would really be no choice. This is why they are going to get the car to start and it is not going to be a repeated issue. I am putting my faith and trust into the Universe to make sure that nothing goes wrong with the car, because the Universe is working in my favor and will not allow it to. It is as simple as that, and I have absolute certainty in that.

Okay, my Mom just got home… in her car! My sister jumped it and it is running fine! She even drove it around a little bit and stopped and started it again just to be sure it would start back up again. I am completely confident now that it is not going to be an issue again. Of course, to make sure of this, I am going to stop taking my breaks in the car. Perhaps I will still take my breaks in the car, but not turn it on or anything, just sit in it. I will stick headphones in my bag so I can listen to my iPod with them instead of through the car speakers. I don’t really feel like that has anything to do with the issue with the car, but the first signs of trouble came after I started taking breaks in the car. Hopefully the weather will warm back up again sometime soon and I won’t need to take breaks in the car. The atrium is just fine when it is warm outside. For some reason, though, it is infinitely colder in there than it is even on the exterior of the building. Still, despite the fact that I don’t really think my lunch breaks with the car on contributed to the issue, one can never be too sure and, even though I know nothing is going to go wrong with the car, it is best not to take too many chances. I am just overwhelmingly relieved knowing that the car started and she was able to bring it home. Now I have to decide how I am getting to work in the morning. My Mom has been going in at 9:30am every day for overtime, which is when I go in normally, and is signed up to go in at that time tomorrow, as well. Due to overtime, which we are absolutely not allowed on my account, I have to go in an hour later tomorrow. She still has to go in at 9:30am because she signed up for that time. I could, and probably should, just go in when she does and wait in the car or something for an hour. The other option would be to pay for a cab and go in an hour later. This is probably what I will end up doing, although it is not the wise decision. I am extremely broke right now, (tomorrow is pay day,) and shouldn’t spend the last little bit of cash I do have on a cab… but it would be very nice to not have to go in so early. We’ll see, I suppose. For now, though, I should probably get to bed. It is nearly 12:30am and, whatever I decide to do, I will need to get up at 7:30am to let my Mom know what I have decided. I really should just ride with her and wait around there an hour. If I wait in the car it won’t be so bad. I think I may. We’ll see how I feel in the morning, though. To make sure what I feel is NOT completely exhausted and like I didn’t get enough sleep, I should get to bed.