Chapter 60: Being Boring

I don’t know where to begin today, which I suppose is good because I don’t know where to go with this blog today, either. I guess there’s no better place to start than regressing back to the music of the 90s. A few days ago I downloaded two albums by a woman I had only ever heard one song by. That woman was Tina Arena, and she sang a song called “Chains,” which was only a minor hit back in the mid-90s. It was a good song. I haven’t actually heard that song in probably well over a decade. In countries other than America, she was not a one-hit wonder and has been making music for 15 years or so, and I always thought she had a really great voice and that I would like to hear more from her. I came across this article on Wikipedia about the song “Do You Know Where You’re Going To” from the film “Mahogany,” (after which yesterday’s blog was titled,) and found that she had done a cover of that song, on an album full of cover songs from the “good old days,” called “Songs Of Love & Loss.” I then searched her on Wikipedia and found that she had also released a “Songs Of Love & Loss 2,” and both albums were full of covers of songs that I absolutely love, so I figured “What the hell? Why not download them both?” That was an excellent plan because I have pretty much become obsessed with both of the albums. Her voice is amazing and she really puts a brilliant spin on these songs. One song in particular that I love her take on is “Everybody Hurts,” by R.E.M., one of the few songs later than the 70s that she does on these albums. It is just her voice and a piano doing this cover and it is absolutely gorgeous. She does some amazing covers of songs like, “Nights In White Satin,” “To Sir With Love,” “Do You Know Where You’re Going To,” “Both Sides Now,” (also recently discussed in this blog,) “Call Me” by Blondie, “Every Breath You Take” by The Police, etc. It is a really amazing collection of songs and actually makes me really curious to find out what her other original music, (aside from the one song,) sounds like. In the midst of all the Wikipedia searches and such, I also found out that she wrote one of my favorite songs by LeAnn Rimes, “You Made Me Find Myself.” That is such a gorgeous song, and if her original material is anything like that it is probably amazing. I will be looking into this further for sure.

Last night when I was going to bed, I tweeted something along the lines of, “Going to bed listening to Tina Arena. Yes, 90s one-hit wonder, I’m in chains, Tina Arena. What? It’s not like I said Merril Bainbridge.” Of course, being me, as soon as I mentioned the name Merril Bainbridge, a name I hadn’t thought of, (let alone brought up,) in years and years, a floodgate was opened in my head and I had to seek out her album again. For those of you unfamiliar with the name Merril Bainbridge, (a.k.a. most, if not all of you,) she is another one-hit wonder from the 90s. Her one hit? “When I kiss your mouth, I want to taste it, Turn you upside down, Don’t want to waste it.” Back when that song was out, I absolutely loved it and rushed out to buy the full album, called “The Garden.” I LOVED this album back in my early teen years. She is Australian, and listening to her lyrics now it really comes across that she is not American born. I found that really charming when I was 13 or so. In fact, listening to the album now, I still find it pretty charming. It’s a very offbeat record, but a really good one. It’s like 50% quirky, acoustic-based pop and 50% quirky, acoustic, singer-songwriter type fare. There are some hidden gems in the album, particularly “Garden In My Room,” which is basically using a garden as one big metaphor for sex, “Under The Water,” which in literal terms would be about watching your lover drown, but runs deeper than that, and her gorgeous cover of “Being Boring,” one of my favorite songs by one of my all-time favorite bands, the Pet Shop Boys. I am pretty excited listening to this album again, and it is bringing back a LOT of memories of my early teen years.

It seems like music was a LOT different back in the 90s. I wouldn’t necessarily say that it was better or worse than it is now, it was just a different type of experience. I will say that lyrics in the 90s were filled with a lot more subtle nuances. Of course, there are a lot of artists from the 90s that I have followed along the way and remained a fan of. Two, in particular, hail from Australia, like both Tina Arena and Merril Bainbridge. First of all, there is Natalie Imbruglia. Most people remember her for the song “Torn,” which was a massive hit in the late 90s, but she had quite a few other hits in the US, as well. “Torn” remains the biggest one, though. She is a brilliant artist and songwriter, as well as one of my favorite artists. I have followed her ever since that first album, “Left Of The Middle,” was released. That album was a big place to take solace for my 14 year old self. I still listen to it pretty frequently, along with all the albums she has released since then. Another artist from the 90s who I have kept up with really well and who has become an all-time favorite of mine is Darren Hayes. In the 90s Darren was known as the voice of the mega-huge band, Savage Garden. Savage Garden had a few really huge hits, mostly “Truly Madly Deeply” and “I Knew I Loved You.” What always struck me about Savage Garden, though, was the fact that those songs were good and everything, but the stuff on their albums were so much different and so much better. Darren Hayes writes lyrics kind of like he is writing poetry. It is beautiful and full of fascinating imagery. It always made me sad that people never really recognized that side of the band. The band wound up breaking up in 2000, and Darren began a solo career, full of music far better than anything he achieved as lead singer of Savage Garden, in my opinion. That man is a marvel! His music, more solo than Savage Garden, has been a major part of my life in the past 15 years or so. Each solo record he releases just gets better and better than the last, which is really saying something because the last record was always completely, breathtakingly, awe-inspiringly brilliant. I couldn’t say enough good things about him, as a vocalist or as a songwriter. He is just brilliant.

Spending the first three paragraphs of the blog discussing Australian Pop Stars of the 90s is a sign that I either don’t have anything to talk about or am trying to avoid talking about something. It is a little bit of both, honestly. The day at work was pretty uneventful. It was a busier day than we have had in quite a while and, despite the fact that it doesn’t normally work for me, it really made the day seem to pass by quickly. Between, and in some cases during, calls I continued work on a drawing I started last week inspired by the song “The Story” by Brandi Carlile. There is a part of that song that says, “All of these lines upon my face tell you the story of who I am.” The initial concept was to draw a woman’s face with lines in all the usual spots women get lines as they age, but within the areas separated by those lines would be an image of some part of this woman’s story. After a couple failed attempts at drawing things like Weddings and childbirth and such, I decided instead to place words in various spots along the lines on her face. It would make a really cool t-shirt. The more I think about it, the more I would love to do a line of t-shirts with random drawings like these I have been doing lately. I think it would be a really cool thing to do and would create something really interesting and unique for people to wear. We shall see what comes of that, though. If nothing else, I think it’d be pretty cool to figure out how to make these shirts for my friends and I to wear. That is, if I could figure out how to do it and make it look good. Aside from the drawing, though, it was a pretty bland day… and a very cold one. I am sick of this weather. I live in Florida, for chrissakes, it isn’t supposed to be this cold. If I were in California I would at least understand it, as deserts tend to be hot during the day and freezing at night. This is just ridiculous, though. I spent my lunch break sitting in the sun, which didn’t help at all because of the cool wind. I don’t like it, and I hope it goes away soon. I don’t understand how people tolerate living in northern states, where it gets even colder than this and actually snows and such. I mean, when I was 13 or 14, I lived in Arkansas for a couple years and it did get to freezing temperatures and snowed and such there, and I dealt with it just fine. That was like 12 years ago, though, and I haven’t had to deal with the cold really since then. It sucks. I like it better than the heat, but I still don’t really like it. I just prefer nice weather that is never overwhelmingly hot or humid, and never overwhelmingly cold; I prefer California weather, basically. Lately, I prefer California EVERYTHING, though.

I am getting worried about California a bit, if I am being honest. Today my Mom hit a new, different kind of snag in the quest to get her in a place where she is ready and able to thrive on her own here. I kind of feel like I make it out like my Mom is completely dependent upon me. That is really not the case, and if she moved into a smaller, less expensive place to live I think she could get by perfectly fine financially. I’m pretty confident that she will find a better paying job sometime soon, anyway. The snag she hit today was not in the financial realm, though. I am not going to go into details about it because it is not my story to tell, but I am concerned that she may not be in the best emotional place to be suddenly living alone 5 months from now. Of course, you never know what can happen in 5 months time. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens between now and then. I am still completely determined to move back to California. I keep saying, because I know it is true, that the Universe is working in my favor right now and will make sure that I am able to get there and make things happen for myself. I have yet to hear back from my Uncle, but I am not concerned about that right now. I just emailed him yesterday, after all, and I’m sure he needs time to think about the whole thing. Plus, who knows how frequently he checks his email. He may not have even read it yet. I just have to be patient. Everything is going to fall into place as it is meant to, and all I have to do is continue to focus on my goals. The Universe will make sure that everything else falls where it needs to. I will stop worrying about California immediately because I cannot afford to put out a frequency of fear or doubt to the Universe. I can only put out a frequency of absolute certainty. THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

I am really starting to get excited about this coming Sunday, January 10, when Yehuda Berg comes to town for a discussion and signing of his newest book, “The Power To Change Everything.” I think it is very important that I attend this and, after today, I am pretty determined to make sure that my Mom attends with me. I think we could both use a little encouragement and reminder that we really do have “The Power To Change Everything.” I am also pretty excited to read this new book from Yehuda Berg, aside from my excitement over meeting him and listening to him speak live. I think it is exactly what I need in my life right now. I think it is exactly what my Mom needs in her life right now, as well. One thing I really want to do once I get back to LA is pay a visit to the Kabbalah Centre International, which is based there in LA. When I went out there in 2007, I had really wanted to visit the Centre but had recently been in contact with them, without any provocation of my own beyond a few donations to SFK and Raising Malawi. They suddenly started calling me and trying to pressure me into purchasing the “Living Kabbalah” audio program for something in the range of $200. I couldn’t afford that at the time. Hell, I can’t afford that now. I let that whole experience put me off of visiting the Kabbalah Centre, and even kind of put me off of Kabbalah itself for a while. No more, though. I have issues with most forms of organized religion, but I have to remind myself: Kabbalah is not a religion. It is a technology, a science. Most of all, it is a way of life; a way of life I really feel like I need to get back to. Meeting and hearing a discussion by Yehuda Berg is a great gateway back in, I think. I am really extremely excited for this and just know that somewhere in the whole experience I will find some answers that I have desperately been searching for. It is going to be great, and I cannot wait!

For now, though, it is after midnight and I really should be getting to bed. In some ways, I am hoping tomorrow will be just as busy as today. It’s not necessarily that I am hoping it will be as busy, per se, it is that I hope it will pass as quickly. That would be lovely. We’ll see how that goes. Being the dead of winter now and just coming off of a holiday weekend, I think we will manage to stay pretty steady for a little while here. I think, no matter how much I may want to complain about it, busy is the best way to go for me right now. It can keep me focused on doing work-related things and not screwing around and getting into inappropriate conversations with my co-workers, or idle, hateful gossip and speculation about others. When you gossip or speak negatively about others, you are simply opening yourself up to receive the Evil Eye. I’ve got far too much good coming my way to welcome even the slightest bit of bad in. I’ve been allowing myself to get caught up in it all for the past few months, but I refuse to any longer. It is not the person who I want to be, so it is not the person I am going to run around acting like. No more of that for me. What is there for me, then? Right now, there is bed.