Chapter 55: Who Would Have Thought?

Today was certainly an interesting day. We moved our seats at work today and I already dislike mine. The computer in my new cubicle acts funny and I am not sure I like the keyboard and I just generally don’t really appreciate the change. My morning was pretty simple. I woke up at 8am, later than planned, and had to rush around a bit to get ready. Not a big deal, though. I wore an outfit that I liked much better than the ones I have worn the past few days, which puts me in a better mood than I usually would be. I also dressed for the extra cold weather that we have been having, which I hadn’t dressed appropriately for the past few days. Unfortunately, today was considerably warmer than the past few days. I don’t know why, but I just can’t ever seem to get it right for the weather. It’s kind of annoying, but at least I looked cute today. The first part of the day at work was pretty laid back, there wasn’t a whole lot going on and we weren’t overly busy. All of us on my team noticed that the Sales department, our sister team of sorts, all got pulled of the floor. The entire department was off the floor and we had to take their calls. Of course, this caused all kinds of speculation as to what the team did wrong, or if it was a situation like we had 6 months ago when an entire department was let go and replaced with a group over on an island called Mauritius. The Sales department is too vital, though, so we figured that wouldn’t be the case. Then they all came back out on the floor and their supervisor, my sister’s girlfriend, came over to our side and began gathering all of our team up. We all started to get really concerned at this point. Then a bombshell was dropped.

Nobody was in trouble. Nobody had done anything wrong. Nobody had anything to be overly concerned about, really. Instead, we got a piece of very bittersweet news. Tomorrow will be my sister’s girlfriend’s last day on our program. She has received a promotion and will be heading up a new program of her own. It is a really great thing for her, and after working in the place that shall not be named for security purposes for a VERY long time she definitely deserves to move further up the ranks. Everyone was very excited for her, but very upset for our program. Nobody working there currently has ever experienced the account without her and she has been an amazing supervisor to us all. Even though she wasn’t the direct supervisor of our department at this point, it is still quite a blow to us. It’s going to be interesting seeing how my remaining months there are without her. It was also a very emotional moment when she told us all this. She actually got tears in her eyes a few times when talking to us. It was very sad, but I am very excited for her to be moving into an upper management position there. Tomorrow will be a pretty sad day, though. Since it will be her last day, I went out this evening and picked up a gift for her, (a cute little picture frame setup that holds multiple pictures and spins, as a decoration for the office that she will be getting,) and a card for everybody to sign for her. I just wanted to do a little something to make her last day a little more special. It’s going to suck, though, no longer working directly with her. Still, it’s not like I won’t be seeing her anymore, but a lot of the people on the account won’t be seeing her regularly anymore and I’m sure that is difficult for them. I know that her team are very close with her and are really attached to her. Like I said, it is going to be interesting to see how this whole change affects the production floor. Now I see a little more why my sister and her girlfriend were acting distant and avoiding dealing with me outside of work; like many times they have done that before, they had a secret they couldn’t share with me, but also couldn’t not talk about.

After this announcement, and the Sales department stepping away from their phones for it, as well as my department doing the same, a few calls got kind of backed up. We were kind of busy after that and stayed slightly busy, at least in spurts, for the rest of the day. We also all moved our seats this afternoon, as I said before, and I was not overly pleased with my new placement. It will be okay, though. I just have to remember that it won’t last long. My sister makes us change our seats every month. The one I’m in now won’t last any longer than until February. It’s in the meantime that is the trouble. That seems to be a recurring theme in my life right now. “In The Meantime.” I even wrote a song called “In The Meantime” the other day. In a lot of ways I feel like my entire life is one big “In The Meantime” right now. I don’t really like it, but I also understand that any major transition in life has a “meantime.” Take my sister’s girlfriend. I don’t know how long she has known that she is taking this position, but she has spent the past little while being “In The Meantime.” I am “In The Meantime.” I am just waiting, biding my time until my change is ready to take place. Much like my sister’s girlfriend, I am kind of scared, kind of nervous and cautious… but overall, I am very excited. I feel more and more lately like I have already checked out of my life here. That isn’t a good thing. I am extremely confident that everything is going to go exactly as planned, but it is still not 100%. After all, I still have to wait and find out what is going to be happening with my Mom by that time. I also still have to organize things like how I am going to get there and make sure that I have a place to stay. There is a lot of uncertainty involved… but I still feel certainty in reference to this whole situation.

One thing that happened at work today was kind of fun and made me very happy. I kept telling my sister that I felt like I should be able to leave early tomorrow after the whole debacle last Thursday with Christmas Eve. I jokingly said that I was going to write up a petition and have all of my co-workers sign it saying that I could leave at noon. One of my co-workers got a kick out of this whole concept and actually wrote up a very funny little petition and we got everybody else in the department to sign it. My sister said that she would take it into consideration. My Mom has to work until 3pm tomorrow, so I told my sister that it would make more sense for me to be leave then so I wouldn’t have to walk or pay for a cab home and she said that would be pretty easily doable. That will work out perfectly because then I will be able to go out and pick up groceries for the dinner tomorrow night with Nate and Whitney and get home with plenty of time to prepare. I’m really looking forward to a little New Year’s Eve festivities, too. I think it’ll be fun and relaxing and an all-around good time. This evening, while I was out getting the gift for my sister’s girlfriend I also came up with a birthday gift for Whitney, so that has worked out well. I may have spent a little more than I should have recently, though, and am going to have to bare bones it a bit with the groceries tomorrow. Whitney also told me earlier this evening that Nate isn’t a big fan of onions, which are included in every recipe I am planning for tomorrow. I am kind of rethinking the menu because of it. I don’t really know how to cook a lot of things, so my options are limited but I think I can figure out something onion-free. Maybe the Mexican style meal that I made with my co-worker a few weeks ago. I’m not sure yet, but I’ll figure it out and it will be perfect. I’m just excited to ring in 2010 with two of my closest friends. It will be a good time no matter what we eat.

When I arrived home this evening, I found a box at our doorstep. I received a package from one of my favorite friends in the entire world, Calvin. Calvin as in Calvin Klein! My new bag arrived today. First thing I did when I got inside was ripped that box open and just adored my lovely new bag! Now I have plenty of cool designer clothing and such, but this was my very first purchase direct from the designer and, I must say, it is a beautiful feeling opening up a package and finding, wrapped in tissue paper covered in the designer logo, a brand new, top quality item to welcome into your life. Seriously, the bag was wrapped in tissue paper with the Calvin Klein logo. It was also in a little bag inside with the Calvin logo very large across it. Then I ripped that bag open and got to my new bag. It is beautiful. It has leather accents that I don’t have to question the authenticity of, and isn’t from a store that gets the items with slight imperfections. It’s a really nice feeling, and before doing anything else with the bag I felt the fabric and sniffed it for that new fabric smell. I don’t even know how to explain this properly, but I highly recommend buying designer clothing. It is a wonderful feeling. There was an episode of “Ugly Betty” where Betty got this gorgeous Gucci bag when Christina cleaned out the closet and everyone at Mode was completely jealous of her and trying to trade her something else for it. In the end Betty wound up trading off the bag in order to get medications for her father, and she cried about it because that bag made her feel special. She said something about how fashion isn’t really about how you look, but about how it makes you feel to be carrying a gorgeous designer bag or walking around on Manolo Blahniks or in one of those beautiful Marc Jacobs dresses. They are beautiful items, but what is so special about them is how you feel wearing them. It makes you feel like you’re a part something special; something magical. I absolutely believe that to be true, and I can attest to that with the designer items I own. I have always been fascinated by fashion, but never really understood it until earlier this year when I bought myself a pair of Calvin Klein sneakers and a Kenneth Cole bag. Walking into my work with these on, I just felt… special. It is a feeling I don’t really know how to explain, but I have since come to realize that fashion, for me, is the equivalent of real life magic. It isn’t quite music, which for me is the source of every part of who I am as a person and an artist, but I have really developed a strong passion for it. I also absolutely cannot wait for a day when I can afford more of it because I am feeling more and more of an urge for it lately.

After stroking and sniffing my new Calvin Klein for a while, I actually took everything out of my old bag and putting it into the Calvin bag and shoulder tested it for a while. It felt good. Eventually, I had to stop because my Mom came home and we needed to go out for the gifts mentioned previously. We went and had dinner at Chipotle and then went to Target to look for the gifts. I spotted a copy of “Bruno” for $14.99 and really wanted to buy it for myself, but I refrained. I am glad that I did, after the fact, because I wound up spending more than expected on gifts and I would rather spend too much buying something worthwhile for other people than for a silly DVD for myself. Maybe I will pick it up after I get paid again. In the meantime, I will work my hardest to be responsible with my cash. I have gotten pretty good at that, although I still slip up every now and then and wind up spending more than I should. Case in point being my Calvin Klein bag… but it is completely worth it, in this case. After coming home from Target I prepped the gifts for tomorrow and asked my Mom to tie on a Kabbalah bracelet for me. The Kabbalah bracelet, (the red string I’m sure you’ve all seen,) is put in place to protect us from the Evil Eye, which is basically other people’s negative wishes upon us. There is a small ceremony involved in tying one on. Essentially, you focus on one of the 72 names of God, (which are Hebrew symbols representing different traits of God,) and make the promise to yourself that you will refrain from having negative thoughts or saying negative things about other people. You have somebody you love tie the string on for you, and they tie one simple knot and then tie six more simple knots, for a total of seven knots. Then you follow that up by having that person recite the Ben Porat prayer, which is in Hebrew and is simply a prayer to ward off the Evil Eye. It is a beautiful ceremony and I always feel a lot better after doing it. This evening, though, I didn’t have much of the red string left, so my bracelet had to be placed on a little tight and my Mom was only able to do six knots instead of seven because the string got too short… the seven knots symbolize white light, which includes the seven colors of the rainbow, as well as signifying the seven spiritual worlds that affect our reality. Despite the fact that all seven knots did not end up happening, I think the meaning is not diminished. I hope not. I need to buy more red string soon, though, just in case. It is a good feeling, though, to have the bracelet back on after not having one on for so long. I feel like I really do need it at this point, both to protect me from the Evil Eye of others and as a reminder to myself to do my best to refrain from giving off the Evil Eye to others. I find it too easy to fall into the pattern of gossiping and saying negative things about others behind their backs, and I really do need to stop myself.

In the meantime, though, it is almost 12:30am, and I have to wake up at 6:30am, so I should definitely get to bed. I am working at 8am tomorrow due to the special holiday hours, and hopefully will be leaving at 3pm. I’m pretty sure that’s going to work out for me. I will make it work out for me. I am excited for tomorrow, New Year’s Eve, and for ringing in 2010 in a good way! Not to sound like that prostitute from the Elliott Spitzer case, but I really feel like this is going to be MY year! The changes already planned to take place this year are immense and will be magical! Ringing in 2010 is mainly exciting because it is bringing me that much closer to all the things that are ahead for me! I cannot wait!