Chapter 41: The Bitch Of Living

I did something incredibly stupid today. When I say incredibly stupid, I don't mean life-altering at this point or anything, but just something incredibly ridiculous that I should have absolutely known better than to do. It wasn't so much a moment of weakness as a moment of sheer stupidity and being too comfortable, I suppose. I was at work, at the place that shall not be named for security purposes, which I'm sure you can assume by this point is a job of answering phones. Much like any job of answering phones, all of those phone calls are recorded. They use this strange system to record our calls and it always take a moment to begin when the call comes in and to end when the caller hangs up. Well, all of us who work there know to be very alert of what we are saying while this recording is taking place but, as I said, apparently I got a little too comfortable and wasn't thinking. I let out a word under my breath after the caller had hung up, but while I was still being recorded. Oh no, it wasn't just any word: It was "BITCH." The caller was trying to open a new account and was required to pay a deposit and she ended the call saying something like, "Well, we're just not gonna do that." I began to ask, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" but she hung up in the middle of the sentence, and I let out a sigh and said, "BITCH." I'm not sure what exactly happened that one of the supervisors wound up listening to the call and had to relay it to my supervisor, my sister. So, I got written up for it, and rightfully so. It's not something I can argue or make excuses for: A cardinal rule of working in customer service is DON'T MAKE DISPARAGING COMMENTS ABOUT THE CUSTOMERS WHERE PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU. I know this by heart, but for some reason did not follow it today. Fortunately, it wasn't something that puts my job at jeopardy or anything, so long as that recording never winds up having to be reviewed by Corporate. Given that this was a customer declining service with us and that was really the end of her involvement with us, there really shouldn't be any reason for it to wind up at Corporate for any reason. To make matters worse, though, after the write up took place when I went back to my cubicle the very next call I got was from that same customer. She was calling back to say that another company had offered her service without a deposit and that if we couldn't offer her the same, she would be going with that other company. I advised her that we would not be able to waive that deposit for her and the call ended cordially this time without anybody calling anybody a bitch... that I know of. She may very well have been calling me a bitch after hanging up. Luckily for her, she was not being recorded after hanging up. Like I said, my job is not at jeopardy at this point so I don't need to stress over this and make it a point to never let it happen again.

The first thing I thought of when I was told about that, though, was that this was a sign not to apply for the position that was posted yesterday. It just seemed to me immediately that an application from somebody who JUST got written up for using profanity on a call would simply be laughed at. I mentioned this to my sister, though, and she said that I still should. Maybe this incident is not something that will be viewed as disastrous as it feels to me. I just still can't believe I actually did that. Either way, though, since my sister encouraged still applying I will. I asked her to go ahead and print out a copy of my resume to submit. I don't think there's much, if any, competition for the position so perhaps I will actually wind up getting it. It seems like everybody eligible for the position doesn't have any interest in pursuing it, and that kind of works out because, based on my own observations, I don't think management is all that interested in hiring any of them. I don't think they're overly interested in hiring me, either, but if I wind up being the only option they'll kind of have no choice. I like those odds. Like I said, it doesn't make a whole lot of difference to me right now because I won't be doing it all that long if I do get it and there won't be any change at all if I don't get it. Plus, as I have been saying all along, it would look really good on my resume once I move back to California to have added a management position to it.

Aside from that, the day was pretty bland. Not a lot went on. One of my co-workers has been getting on my nerves a bit and I found out today that this person has been getting on everybody else's nerves, too. Despite the fact that my team at work are not a group of people who always get along with each other, I appreciate the fact that I can get along with all of them and that we are all on the same page right now. Seriously, they are pretty much all people that I can get along with individually, so it makes for a pretty pleasant work place and I am very grateful for that. I may not enjoy the work I'm doing, but at least I can get along with the people working with me. I just need to really make it a point to focus on the fact that I need this job for the next 6 months. It is imperative that I hang on to this job and do the best that I can, whether I get the promotion or not, to make sure they have absolutely no reason to take it away from me. As I have said many times before, the universe is lining everything up perfectly for me to reach my goal of moving to California by the end of our lease here and it will not let anything stand in the way of that. Hell, I will not let anything stand in the way of that. By May, all of my ducks will be in a row and I will be ready to go out and make a new life for myself and be the new person I have become in the old state that I had to leave to become it. I really feel like everything is lining up for me and there is immense greatness ahead. I cannot wait.

Speaking of greatness, aside from the stupid thing that happened today, something great happened today! I FINALLY heard from my best friend, Don. I was beginning to get concerned about the fact that I hadn't heard back from him. I have mentioned many times in this blog so far that he is the one person in the world that I don't ever have to question, but after trying to call him for over two weeks without any response, I was beginning to find myself questioning him. After all these years and all this time that we have been best friends, could he have finally just had enough and given up on me and my wishy-washy, here today, gone tomorrow lifestyle? Well, that question was answered when I went on my lunch break today and found a voicemail from him. Apparently, he had some phone drama, (the screen on his touch screen phone cracked and it took him forever to replace it,) and was unaware of all my contact attempts until he got his phone replaced today. He left me a very sweet message and I just started to feel a lot better about the world.

...Then I called a customer a bitch while being recorded. I can't obsess over that, though.

The only thing left to discuss today is my newest obsession and the first album leak of 2010 that I am really really excited over: Ke$ha. I first heard Ke$ha something like 6 months ago when a collection of about 30 demos she had recorded leaked to the internet. They were mainly songs she had written for other artists and songs that were not intended for use on her album, but songs that are all really good. I love her style of writing. It's all very offbeat and quirky and fun and generally unique. I enjoyed that collection of demos but kind of put them aside in my frenzy of other artists, like GaGa and such. Then, she resurfaced with the release of her first official single "TiK ToK." This song is getting an insane amount of play right now, and I say rightfully so. It is the same old happy, party song about getting trashed and being caught up in your own bravado, but delivered in a way that makes that same old story seem new and interesting. I was definitely down with that song and it got me kind of excited for her album to be released, but it wasn't until last week when four more songs from the album leaked that I really began developing an obsession. Those four songs, "Your Love Is My Drug," "Kiss N Tell," "Take It Off" and "Blah Blah Blah" are all absolutely brilliant. They are all poppy and dancy type songs, but again delivered in that interesting, unique, fun way that "TiK ToK." I have kind of gone back over those demos that are not making the album and there is some real genius stuff in there, too, especially a song called "Disgusting." Other favorites include, "Secret Weapon," "Radio Radio Radio," "Fuck Him, He's A DJ," and "Paris Hilton's Closet," which is a hilarious telling of a night of partying that ended with throwing up in Paris Hilton's closet. That song is particularly adorable. Her album, "Animal," is due to be released on January 5, 2010 so I am hoping it will leak sometime over the next week or so. I really can't wait to hear the rest of the album. One thing I do have to say, though, is that a lot of people over on my favorite website, Oh No They Didn't, seem to be speculating that by this time next year she will be considered "the new GaGa." Much as I am obsessing over/loving Ke$ha, I have to say that she is no GaGa. I kind of relate her much more to Katy Perry, who made a name for herself with a song that was a complete novelty, but backed it up with music that was fresh and different and genuinely good. That is what I am expecting out of Ke$ha... but GaGa she ain't. Nothing against her... nobody is GaGa!

It is now nearly 12:30am, and the quest to get more sleep just doesn't seem to be working out for me this week. I should, at least, continue to try. It is time to go shake off the drama of the day and get ready to face a new day tomorrow. A day where I don't call anybody a bitch... at least, not while being recorded.