Chapter 54: Birthday

Today was a pretty bland day. It wasn’t a bad day or a good day. It was just a day. I hate those types of days. I woke up late, at nearly 8:15am, and had to rush a bit to get ready for work. I put on some eyeliner, as I have started doing again lately, and did kind of a cool effect with it by smudging it in the corners. I went out to the kitchen to get a drink and found my Mom and her boyfriend sitting on the couch crying. This clearly meant one thing: My Mom’s boyfriend was leaving. I hate to be insensitive, because I know having him around makes my Mom happy, but I have to say I was slightly relieved. It’s not that he’s a bad guy or that I dislike him. It’s just awkward for me because he is not a person I have any way to relate to, so rather than trying to force something I just stay in my bedroom when he is here and don’t interact with him or my Mom a whole lot. My Mom was telling me this evening that he told her he felt bad that I just hung out in my room the entire time he was here and he felt like it was his fault. This made me feel a little bad about the whole thing. At the same time, though, it isn’t anything against him and I feel justified in staying in my bedroom. When they are having their time, doing whatever it is they do together, it would just be weird and awkward and kind of pointless for me to come hang out in the middle of it. Any time I have tried, I just wind up wanting to go back into my bedroom and do something of interest to me, anyway. So, basically, I just cut out the awkward part and stay in my room. It works for me. Normally when he comes to stay here I wind up not being home much. This weekend, however, that was not the case. So, I made due with my bedroom. It wasn’t a completely terrible weekend. It was a completely terrible Christmas, but the weekend following it wasn’t too bad. I am pretty resourceful when it comes to finding ways to keep myself entertained.

Speaking of finding interesting ways to keep myself entertained, I have started working on another drawing at work. This one was inspired by the Ke$ha song, “Dancing With Tears In My Eyes.” It’s pretty simple. It’s a woman. She is dancing. She’s got tears in her eyes. Perhaps not the most creative thing I have ever come up with, but I like it. She’s also surround by black figures in various dancing positions, and she doesn’t just have tears in her eyes – she has Lauren Conrad style black tears running down her face. Like I said, I like it. Drawing is a fun creative outlet, even if I can’t ever make it come out the way I want it to like I can with music. It is still a fun way to pass the time and it has really given me a new appreciation for people who are able to draw and paint and create visual art like that. I am not especially envious of them, (I’ll take music any day,) but I can definitely appreciate the talent that it takes. I also have been thinking a lot about aesthetics lately, particularly after watching “Dorian Gray” the other day. Beauty is definitely something I can appreciate in this world, but I wouldn’t say that I have a real eye for it like some people do. I think of Tom Ford, former designer for Gucci and current designer of the Tom Ford Collection, (as well as director of the film, “A Single Man.”) I have a lot of respect and admiration for that man because he just seems so aware of visual beauty. He doesn’t make a piece of clothing or a pair of sunglasses, but a work of art. I have that same sort of respect and admiration for David LaChappelle. He has this incredible talent for creating beauty in the most unusual images and concepts. I just really respect people with that type of talent for visuals. I may not be able to create a beautiful aesthetic in the world surrounding me, (I can’t even decorate properly,) but I have a great respect for people who can. After all, they are the ones who create the beauty I want to see in my life but can’t imagine myself.

Speaking of Tom Ford, I have recently become slightly obsessed with owning a pair of his sunglasses. I am well aware that I am not currently in a position to spend $200 on a pair of sunglasses but I happen to be resourceful in more ways than just keeping myself entertained. I did a little digging and found a pair of one of my favorite styles, the Austin, on Ebay for a very decent price. Supposedly, they are either a display model or a store return and do not include the case or anything. I am not overly concerned with the case or tags at this point, so that works out perfectly fine for me! The price is a little too low for comfort, though. There is a high likelihood that they could be knockoffs. Much like my Louis Vuitton wallet, though, I have no problem with knockoffs if they are really believable. Of course, I probably wouldn’t go around telling people that my Tom Ford glasses were fakes, like I did with my Louis Vuitton wallet. I’m going to keep an eye on those glasses on Ebay and see if they go much higher, and if they stay in a reasonable range I’ll probably end up buying them. Like I said before, I have the utmost respect for Tom Ford and consider his designs not just a pair of sunglasses, but a work of art… and I definitely want to wear that art on my face. Also, on the topic of fashion, I just checked the status of my Calvin Klein order and it apparently just left Jacksonville, FL this evening around 7pm. I am hoping that means that it will arrive here in Sarasota, FL tomorrow and be at my door on Thursday. I would certainly enjoy starting off 2010 with a Calvin Klein bag on my arm!

On the topic of 2010 and, in particular, ringing it in on New Year’s Eve, I have the best plans ever! Well, maybe not the best plans ever but plans that sound like an absolutely perfect way to end 2009 for me. I am having two of my closest friends here in Florida, Whitney and Nate, over for a night of junk food and liquor. Just the three of us, hanging out at my house, stuffing our faces, drinking excessively and just having a fun, relaxed evening. We are going to do a dinner, watch a movie, then bake up some dessert type shit and get to drinking and watching balls drop and pop stars performing in Times Square, (which is always my favorite part of NYE festivities on TV.) There is a scene in one of my all-time favorite movies, “Clueless,” where Cher says, “I know it sounds mental, but sometimes I have more fun just vegging out at home than going out and partying… maybe it’s because all my party clothes are so binding.” That is EXACTLY how I feel sometimes, too. I enjoy just relaxing at home and hanging out with my friends here more than going out and doing stuff. I am really looking forward to it. Plus, Whitney and Nate are officially coupled now and I have yet to actually hang out with them in that capacity. Third wheel, anybody? Just kidding, I don’t think that will be an issue. I am expert at making myself a focal point for the people around me. That is a joke… kind of.

Speaking of Whitney, though, I would be remiss not to talk about her a little bit here. Today, December 29, is her birthday. I haven’t quite worked out what I will be buying her as a gift for her birthday, (oh crap, I should probably NOT buy Tom Ford glasses and buy a gift instead! Foiled again!) but I have something in mind that I think will work out pretty well. Aside from the gift concept, I just wanted to take a little time to talk about her here. I met Whitney about 2 .5 years ago, while we were both working at Borders, and we hit it off. We bonded over our shared enthusiasm for the movie “Grindhouse,” (which we saw together like 3 times,) and eventually, along with two other girls we worked with, formed a tight knit little family type group. We all became very close very fast and, despite the fact that those other two girls have both kind of fallen off our radar, Whitney and I remained that way and continue to this day. She is one of my best friends. As I have mentioned in this blog before, Whitney just seems to get it. She is not without her quirks, (who is?) but she just seems to understand the things that a lot of others don’t get. I can talk to her about pretty much anything, and we have that kind of “tell each other everything” type of friendship, which I love. It kind of reminds me of Don and I back in the day, except that we don’t spend 24 hours a day together like Don and I did. I think that’s something you lose with adulthood, though. Either way, Whitney is somebody I have really come to consider one of my best friends in this world and I feel like it is important to take a little time on this, the anniversary of her birth, to express my gratitude for her. I’m sure she will not end up reading this, but it is still nice to get it out there and remind myself how lucky I am to have her in my life. In some ways, I think that is really what birthdays should be about in our lives. Birthdays shouldn’t be a day for us to celebrate but a day for the people in our lives, who are grateful for our presence and who are really the ones who create a place for us in this world, to celebrate us and express their appreciation for having us as a part of their lives. Perhaps I am just a self-involved person, though, who wants to make other people’s birthdays less about them and more about how I feel about them. Either way, though, that is my opinion on the matter. Looking at it that way, I say “Happy Whitney’s Birthday to me!”

So, here I sit, listening to Brooke Hogan. I know it is strange, but I like her music a lot. It’s certainly nothing ground breaking or deserving of acclaim, but she makes fun, pop music with more substance than you would expect and has a considerably better voice than people give her credit for. She has one of those odd voices, though, that sounds over produced on a record but then when you hear her sing live it still sounds over produced. It’s as if her voice is just naturally over produced. I don’t understand how that happens, but I enjoy it and am ever so slightly envious of it. Victoria Beckham has that same kind of voice, but not nearly as good. Jennifer Lopez also has that same kind of voice, but hers is actually much better.

Talking about Brooke Hogan’s voice on my blog is probably a sign that I need to get to bed. Before I do that, though, there is one last thing I wanted to mention here. I developed this problem last week with the skin on my face feeling chapped and itchy all the time. I blamed this on the cold weather, but it is very strange because I have never had this problem before in my entire life. The skin on my face is better by now, but it still seems to be itchy all the time. Another spot that was having this problem is behind my ears. I still think it may be the cold weather, but I also recently started using a new shower gel, (Ulta’s Berrylicious Shower Smoothie,) and I am wondering if I am not having some sort of allergic reaction to that. That doesn’t make a ton of sense to me, either, though. The one place I don’t really use that is on my face, yet that is the only place having this reaction. I don’t know what it is, but I find it very annoying. I hope that whatever may be, it isn’t the Ulta Shower Smoothie, because I absolutely love that stuff. Still, maybe once my bottle of it runs out I will try something different and see if the problem persists. In the meantime, though, I need to get to sleep. I am very tired and have two days left at work this week. I’m going to make it through just fine, I’m sure, but being well rested certainly can’t hurt. I think I am going to listen to the new-ish Chantal Kreviazuk record, “Plain Jane” while I go to bed. It has been in my head for the past few days and I think it may be trying to tell me something… or I just want to listen to it. Either way, really.