Chapter 6: Perfectly Lonely

11:36am

Okay, so it is official. I am sick. I did some research online, though, and am pretty certain that it is not Swine Flu. I do not actually have any of the symptoms, aside from unusual tiredness. According to my findings, though, victims of Swine Flu all have regular flu symptoms, like cold symptoms, fever, congestion, etc., coupled with stomach issues and general weakness, exhaustion and achiness. I only have the last bit, but none of the actual flu symptoms. So, I am assuming I am safe.

I did decide, though, to call in sick to work. I have been feeling bad since Sunday and my boss, (aka, my sister,) knows this. I am hoping that taking the day off to rest will be just what I need to get over this issue. Since I do have this day open with no plans of leaving the house or anything, I figured I would try something a little different with the blog today. So, what I am doing is beginning the blog now as a Word document and will update it throughout the day with whatever happens to run through my mind.

What is my plan for the day? Well, as I may have mentioned previously, I watch a lot of TV, but am far from one of those people who will let the TV schedule dictate my life. In the past couple of weeks, though, I have managed to miss a LOT of my favorite shows and now have a long list of stuff recorded on the DVR that I have yet to watch. Today my only solid plan is to catch up on all of those shows. I’ve got 2 weeks worth of Grey’s Anatomy, 90210, The Hills, The City and most of the daily Oprah episodes for the past 2 weeks that I have not watched, as well as this week’s Desperate Housewives. Like I said, I watch a lot of TV. This doesn’t even include the shows that I did manage to watch.

Of course, I am not really off to a good start on that plan. Right now I am sitting at the computer and listening to the new John Mayer record, “Battle Studies.” John Mayer is an interesting artist for me. When he first came out with the “Room For Squares” album, I kind of fell in love with him. I still love that album. Then he released his second major label album, (the name of which escapes me at the moment, but the one with “Bigger Than My Body,” “Daughters,” and “Clarity,”) and I loved that one even more. I was a huge fan of his at this point, and even loved the John Mayer Trio that he formed after that. Then he released “Waiting On The World To Change,” as the first single from Continuum and it became my favorite song of his, (still is.) I actually joined the official fan club and the whole deal at this point. Then the album came out and I just didn’t like it very much. After that he became a bit of a media whore and came across as really “stuck-up-his-own-ass,” as well, and I just generally lost interest. Recently, though, he has kind of become ingrained in my life in a very random way, so I decided to check out this new record. I must say, I am absolutely in love with this album. It may be his best so far.

Okay, I suppose I should address the fact that I stated that he has become “ingrained in my life,” because that does sound pretty strange and random reading it back. It’s a funny story, actually. I haven’t really talked much about my best friend on here. His name is Don and he is the only person who is not a blood relative who I have managed to maintain a close relationship with in my life. He has stuck by me through my very worst, as well as my very best and I owe him the world for it. He is one of the few people in this world that I would do absolutely anything for without question or hesitation, and one of the few people who I truly believe would do the same for me. These past couple years, though, it has been more difficult to maintain such a close relationship because he still lives in California, and I am here in Florida. We had made it a good habit to visit each other and such at least once a year, but now it has been almost 2 years since we have gotten to see each other, due to financial issues and various other reasons. In that time, we have both gone through some major life changes, as well, and it has begun to feel like it has been entirely too long since we’ve been able to see each other and really catch up.

Well, Don had an experience recently that will hopefully make a difference in that situation… and experience that included, none other than, John Mayer. Don is a person who spends a lot of time out in clubs and such, so much so that he is a bartender and makes his living in clubs. Well, on a night off, he happened to go out to a gay bar in Palm Springs and who happened to be there? John Mayer. He never really cared too much about John Mayer or anything, so he wasn’t overly concerned with it, but knowing that I was a big fan of his before he decided to take a little video. It was a pretty simple video of Mr. Mayer dancing to the Black Eyed Peas in a crowd of gay men. Don, clever as he is, decided to pitch this video to a few tabloids and wound up making a good little lump of money from it. So, one thing he mentioned planning to do with the money was plan a trip to Florida to visit me! I think, at this point in time, it would do me a lot of good to see him and I hope that this plan comes into fruition sometime in the not too distant future.

So, I guess, thanks John Mayer! I may even give “Continuum” another shot after all of that!

4:40pm

So, by this point I am still feeling pretty shitty. At least, I have been slightly productive: I have laundry washing as I write this. I have also made a dent in the TV catching up I mentioned earlier. I got through all of the 90210, the Desperate Housewives and both episodes of The Hills.

Let’s talk about The Hills for a moment, shall we? I don’t know why, but I have always loved that show. It makes LA look beautiful, which I know from growing up can be kind of difficult. It’s a wonderful place that I miss every day, but in real life it does not look quite as good as it does on TV. They also showcase a lot of amazing music on the show, not just the trendy pop songs that play during scene segues, but the producers really do know how to place a really powerful indie song in just the right place to make me, and I’m sure countless other, bawl like a baby. I have discovered a lot of really amazing artists through that show, most notably Missy Higgins. They used her song, “Where I Stood,” in the episode where Audrina and Lauren had their first confrontation about their friendship falling apart and I really cried like a baby. That is such an amazing song, anyway, and it’s not exactly the most appropriate song for that moment when you hear the song in full, but they made it work brilliantly.

The thing with The Hills, though, is that now Lauren Conrad is no longer on the show… and it has definitely made a difference. Kristin Cavallari is very fun and entertaining, but she makes it a very different show than it was with Lauren. I don’t enjoy it near as much, and I have a feeling that the show is, as Kristin Cavallari would put it back in the Laguna Beach days, “dunzo.” It’s really a shame because I do feel like it used to be a really great show and I will be sad to see it end. The City is really no replacement, either. Whitney Port is adorable, but there is simply not enough that actually happens on that show to make it all that interesting to watch. I guess my obsession with MTV reality shows is fading. Growing up, I suppose.

Now that I am back at the computer for a moment, I am listening to the John Mayer record again. I really cannot say enough good things about it, and I especially have to mention the song “Assassin,” which is completely brilliant. Also, the song “Half Of My Heart,” is amazing AND it features one of my absolute favorite artists, Taylor Swift. I really feel like this record is everything that I needed to hear right now. It is making me feel a lot better about the world right now. I mean, I still feel like crap… but, at least, I have something greatly inspiring to listen to while I am feeling like crap.

It hasn’t really been an eventful day at all. The big highlight, thus far, aside from watching TV or listening to this album, was my Mom coming home from work for lunch. I hate being sick. I have this feeling like I should be doing something, but I know that I should just be resting. Resting hasn’t made me feel better so far, though. I just hope I feel better tomorrow. I have to go to work tomorrow, either way, but I really hope that I feel better. I can’t afford to miss two days out of a paycheck. I really feel bad about missing this one, so two is simply not an option. The weekend is almost here, after all. It has been really good, and probably worthwhile, to have this day off, though. Not only because I need to rest and feel better, but because I think maybe I needed a day to step away and not think about everything. Yesterday was such a stressful day, and this day has been the complete opposite. Aside from the usual guilt I feel any time I miss work, it has been pretty relaxing. I am enjoying it. I only wish I actually felt better by now.

7:30pm

I still feel like crap. I really do.

I just finished watching yesterday’s episode of The View, with Carrie Prejean as a guest. Carrie Prejean, for anyone who may not know, was the Miss California winner who was asked the gay marriage question at the Miss America pageant and caused all sorts of scandal with her answer. I find her infuriating. Don’t get me wrong. I see nothing wrong with her answering the question with her honest opinion, even though I vehemently disagree with it. In fact, when it first happened, I felt bad for her. It was like the Dixie Chicks situation, (most people who know me know that one of my favorite movies, and the movie I watch anytime I need a good cry is the Dixie Chicks documentary, “Shut Up & Sing.”) I don’t believe that anybody should be ostracized for expressing an opinion. What I find so infuriating about her is everything that has happened since then. At first, she portrayed herself as this big Christian, right-wing activist, (in fact, she is still portraying herself that way,) but so much of what has been learned about her since has completely contradicted that whole image. Then, as any good right-wing pundit would do, she has spent every single interview since then doing nothing but double talk. It’s the same thing I found so ridiculous and infuriating about Sarah Palin and John McCain’s entire campaign in 2008. It’s the same thing I find so infuriating about Ann Coulter and Bill O’Reilly. They all talk and talk and talk without ever actually saying anything. Then, as soon as they are called out on it, they do nothing but double-talk and repeat all the things that they had already said, even though they are now out of context and just make them sound like idiots.

This is nothing particularly against Republicans, in general, but against the right wing media. People like all of those mentioned above are one thing, but the real problem lies with people like Elisabeth Hasselbeck and the anchors on Fox News, who feed into all of it and double talk as soon as they are called on their bias, as well. It is ridiculous. Fox News is the worst, especially considering how they try to portray CNN as being biased towards the left. I have spent a great deal of time watching CNN, particularly due to my obsession with Anderson Cooper, and I have never seen them being biased at all. Fox News on the other hand has no interest in representing views from the left, except to comment on how wrong they are. I just can’t deal with all of that. It is infuriating.

I will stick to Anderson Cooper, thank you.

10:34pm

Here we are at the time I have kind of silently reserved as “blog time” for the past few days of this project. The time leading up to going to sleep, in general, is a good time for blogging. It is a good way to reflect upon the day that has just ended and kind of gather my thoughts on all of it. Today hasn’t left me with all that much to reflect upon, and most of which it did give me to reflect upon has already been summed up in the earlier portions of this entry.

The rest of my day has been pretty uneventful. My Mom came home and made dinner, and we watched “Glee” together. My Mom and I have kind of made it a point over the past few years to have one TV show that we both follow and always watch together. For the past few years that show has been “Ugly Betty,” but due to it’s unfortunate move to the Friday Night Death Schedule that is less of an option these days. I think it is fairly common knowledge that Friday night is where networks put shows out to pasture. Viewership on Friday nights is terrible, because people don’t want to be sitting at home and watching TV on a Friday night. I remember a time when it wasn’t like that and TV was a hot ticket on Friday nights. There was this little thing on ABC called “TGIF” and it was one of the most popular nights of television at the time. This was back when I was a kid, and it was all family oriented programming. I think, more than likely, for the 18-49 demographic it probably wasn’t that big a deal, but back when I was a kid that television block was the best thing ever. The death of the sitcom probably had a lot to do with the death of Friday night programming. If you notice, sitcoms barely exist anymore. Everything is an hour-long drama nowadays.

Anyway, because “Ugly Betty” has been moved to Friday nights we don’t normally get together and watch it when it airs. We do still watch it together most of the time a few days later, (yet another reason why the DVR is possibly my favorite invention this side of the iPod.) So, we had to come up with a replacement show that aired on a better night. That show is “Glee.” It is, in my opinion, the best new show of this season. Maybe even the best new show of recent years. Aside from “Ugly Betty” and “Gossip Girl” it is pretty much my favorite thing on television right now. I love pretty much anything that incorporates musical numbers as a part of the storyline without being an actual musical. I love musicals, too, but when you can get your cast singing without the cheesiness of having them break out in song I have a deep respect for that. Plus, I love pretty much any well-told story about finding the beauty in the underdog or outcast types of the world. I can relate to that in a lot of ways. In fact, one of the main characters of “Glee,” is a girl named Rachel, who I just sit and watch every week, thinking, “Wow, that is just like the time when I did that!” The only difference is that she is a gorgeous, young Jewish American Princess. I have always wanted to be one of those! At least, I am American. I kind of plan on converting to Judaism in the future, so the Princess part is all I have left to figure out!

Here I am now getting ready for bed, and I am ending the day the way I spent much of it: Listening to the new John Mayer record. I really cannot recommend it highly enough. The more I listen to this album, the more I love it. From start to finish, it is just a beautiful record. I really think it is his best so far. It also, is the exactly the record I needed to hear right now. At this moment in my life, John Mayer has told me everything I need to know.

Tomorrow? I don’t know what it will hold, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that wellness is a part of it. I cannot afford to miss another day of work, but I don’t know how well I could handle another day of work feeling the way I have been. Either way, I have to go to work tomorrow. Calling in a second day is not an option I can even consider right now. It has just dawned on me that it may be possible to use some of my vacation to cover today. I don’t know how that works or if it is allowed, but it is definitely something I intend to look into tomorrow. Tomorrow, when I returned to the civilized world where I have to deal with more than just feeling like crap and catching up on TV.

I am not looking forward to that right now.