Chapter 1: Ordinary People

Okay, so how do I begin this whole thing?

I guess I'll start by saying that I am excited. I don't know why exactly, but I have a good feeling about this whole blog thing.

Okay, so in case you don't know, the plan is to write a new blog every day for an entire year. The reason? Unclear at this point. Essentially, the plan is to figure out along the way, or by the end of the year, what to do with all of it. It's kind of a way to document a year in my life, and to take that year and create something from it.

Ideally, what I hope to create is a record. You see, I am an aspiring singer/songwriter. I have this problem, though, that has prevented me from really "aspiring" beyond just sitting around thinking about it. I lack direction. Not to sound cocky or conceited, but I know that I have the talent to accomplish something amazing. I know that I have the drive. I know that I have the mind for it. What I don't know is what to do with it all.

Now, don't misunderstand me when I say I am an aspiring singer/songwriter - I have very little desire to be famous. I don't want to be Madonna or Lady GaGa or anything like that, (although they are both among my favorite artists.) I don't want to be a celebrity. I don't even necessarily want to be rich. What I want is to be able to support myself and live fairly comfortably as a songwriter. My dream is to have a career like Liz Phair or Jewel or even Alanis Morissette. They all made a big splash, earned enough money and made enough of a name for themselves to live comfortably long-term and then were free to make the music that they wanted to make. Well, not exactly, but they are all artists who make amazing music and have smaller, extremely loyal followings.

Maybe I more aspire to be like Chantal Kreviazuk or Lori McKenna. Yes, as a matter of fact, that is exactly what I want. The thing is, Chantal Kreviazuk and Lori McKenna both have the kind of small, loyal followings I mentioned previously, but they are both completely free to be ordinary people. Neither one of them have necessarily made the kind of splash that Jewel, Liz Phair or Alanis have, and both have probably earned more money from writing for other artists than they have off of their own music. THAT IS EXACTLY what I want.

Much like Chantal Kreviazuk, I write a certain type of music that I would perform myself and also write a LOT of other stuff that I would absolutely never perform, but that could work for an artist who makes a different style of music. The thing is, I grew up on pop music. It is a passion of mine. I have a deep love and respect for pop music... but I don't want to perform pop music for a variety of reasons. I would love, though, to hear an amazing pop artist performing some of the songs that I have written. It's all very Coyote Ugly, right? Except that I DO want to perform for myself, as well.

Ultimately, though, my real dream, beneath all the rest of it, is to make a difference in people's lives the way any of the artists I have mentioned thus far have made in mine. From Madonna and Lady GaGa to Jewel, Liz Phair and Alanis to Chantal Kreviazuk and Lori McKenna, these are all artists that have had an immense impact on my life... and I want to do the same for others. THAT is my ultimate goal in life.

So, I guess my ultimate goal by the end of this year long blog is to have found a way to get that started.

Things that are working to my advantage: Talent, drive, ambition, will and positivity.

Things that are working against me: Laziness, lack of direction, Being distracted by day-to-day life, lack of focus, lack of knowing how to write music.

So, I guess this is the beginning. By the end of this year long blog, I hope to have removed a few of those things working against me. Particularly the not knowing how to write music... and possibly the being distracted, as well.

BUT BUT BUT... I don't want you to be scared off by this first post. While writing and recording a record is the tentative goal for this blog, it is most certainly not all that this blog will be about.

The other reason for this blog is documenting my day-to-day life and seeing what kind of growth and what kind of progress I make in a year's time. Not just as an artist, but as a person. There will be plenty of talk about music, (my own and that of others,) but there will probably be just as much talk about my life and daily happenings.

It also just so happens that not much happened today. I worked at the place that shall not be mentioned for security purposes and came home. Watched some TV then got a call from my sister and her girlfriend, (yes, 2 out of my Mom's 3 children are gay,) asking if I wanted to go out for some drinks with them and a few people from work. I initially didn't want to because I have developed this thing about not wanting to go out pretty much ever, (surely more on that later,) but I forced myself and wound up having a really good time.

Funny thing about that... one of the people that went out with us all was this guy who also works at the place that shall not be named, (did I mention I also work with my sister and her girlfriend? or that they are my supervisors? or that, as of recently, my Mom works there, too?) The thing with this guy, though, is that I have known him for years as an acquaintance, (one of those people you run in the same group as, but never spend time alone with/don't have their phone number, etc.,) but now that we are working in the same place I see him around a lot more frequently. I just have this feeling like he doesn't like me very much. He is gay, as well, but he is one of those gay guys who is into sports and rides a motorcycle and whatnot. "Straight-Acting." I am not. Not even close! I feel like maybe he likes me, but he doesn't want to be associated with me because I'm so... colorful.

In any sense, this feeling that he doesn't really like me or want to be associated with me, for one reason or another, makes me find him very very attractive. It's so odd because he is not my type at all, I don't think our personalities mesh well and he's essentially everything I don't have that much interest in... but I still find myself finding him attractive.

I guess maybe I'm just a whore.

Either way.

That's it for day one. Am I off to a good start? Meh, maybe. Maybe not. Either way, there are 364 more days coming.