Chapter 16: You're My Sunday

Today was almost exactly everything I had hoped it would be. It wasn't the most eventful day in the world, but it was definitely a fun, relaxing day. It felt more like a Sunday, in all the best ways, than a Saturday. It was just very relaxed and stress-free and spent doing things that I don't have any obligation to. That is normally my ideal Sunday, so to have it on a Saturday is great! It reminds me of a song, actually. One of my favorite artists, who I think has gotten a lot of unfair treatment in the media and has never really been appreciated for her talent, is Jessica Simpson and last year she released what I think was her best album, "Do You Know." Sadly, last year there was a whole slew of artists who decided that they were going country, including Jewel and Michelle Branch, and Jessica Simpson kind of got caught up in the stigma of that. Plus, she was dating Tony Romo at the time and getting all kind of flack for it from the Dallas Cowboys fans and such. Essentially, she was all over the media being painted in a negative light and the thing that got overlooked in all of that hype is the fact that the album was actually really good. One of my favorite tracks on this album is one that she wrote about Tony Romo, called "You're My Sunday." It's basically just a song about having a person in your life who makes you feel at peace and relaxed, who takes away all the drama and stresses of your day-to-day life; like a good Sunday. Kind of like a day like today was for me.

I started off the day waking up at 11:30am, which is later than I usually like, but I didn't have a problem with it today. I got up and got in the shower and just kinda took my time getting dressed and ready for the day. My Mom called me and asked me if I wanted to go out to a late brunch/early lunch, and she didn't get home until I had finished my leisurely preparations for the day. We went to this little cafe in town that we love because they have delicious, sometimes exotic, breakfast foods and outdoor seating. Normally when we go there it is a little earlier in the day, but today we didn't arrive until after 1pm. Nearby this cafe is a dance academy and right as we sat down at the table, a kids ballet class let out. Despite the fact that I feel awkward around children and never intend to have any, I love seeing them when they are happy and having fun. There were trails of little girls, probably around 8 or 9 years old, in their leotards and ballet flats, rushing excitedly along with their mothers off to the restaurants and shops there in the plaza we were in. I don't know what it is, but things like that make me feel very joyful. As my Mom and I sat there, eating and talking, I noticed something that I found very fascinating and inspirational. A little while after most of the little girls had cleared out, out of the dance studio came a little boy in kid-sized yoga pants and ballet flats. He had the same smile that the little girls all had and smiled at me as he passed our table, with a little skip in his step. I couldn't help but think of what this little boy must be like, imagining his day to day life being something like Justin on "Ugly Betty." That made me feel even more joyful. I know it's something very small, but it kinda set my mood for the rest of the day.

While at brunch, my Mom also read our horoscopes from the local arts paper, Creative Loafing, and mine said something very interesting. It said that I should decide which of my four major goals is least crucial to pursue, and that I should do something dramatic to take myself less seriously. As far as the bit about my four major goals, I am not honestly sure that I have four that I am really focusing on. One major goal is to create a record at the end of this year-long blog, and that is probably the most crucial to achieve. Another would be to get the promotion I was/am being considered for at work, which is certainly crucial to my day-to-day life, but considerably less crucial in the long-run. I also have a goal to learn an instrument, which is extremely crucial to achieving the first goal. The fourth major goal, I guess, would be to learn how to drive, which isn't entirely crucial in the immediate sense and not even necessarily in the long run... but is something that would certainly be helpful. Of all of these goals, that is the one that seems most obvious to me to let go of, but I know that shouldn't be the answer. I think that this may be a sign to me that perhaps I shouldn't be focusing so much on the promotion. Of those four goals, that is the one that is least crucial to my quality of life in the long run. Even the driving, which is the one that I feel the least strongly about, would be more beneficial to me in the grand scheme of things. I think I just had an epiphany here. I didn't really understand what that was about when I read the horoscope before, but I wrote it down anyway. Now it seems so clear to me. The main reason I have been focusing so hard on this promotion is because I have been wanting to be able to put management on my resume. The reason I felt so strongly about putting management on my resume was because I wanted to be able to move into management positions in future jobs. In the scope of my ACTUAL goals for my life, and what I have been saying I KNOW my life is meant to be, having management on my resume won't make a whole hell of a lot of difference. So, why am I stressing over it so much right now? That only expresses doubt in what I KNOW is ahead for me, and by having anything less than certainty I am putting those doubts out into the universe, which is what is preventing the universe from making these things happen for me. IT ALL SEEMS SO CLEAR ALL OF A SUDDEN... and here I thought the "stop taking yourself so seriously" part of that horoscope was the important part! That part actually directly ties in with this epiphany that I have just had. Don't get me wrong, if they offer me this position I will surely take it, but now I understand that I don't need to stress out over it and that if they don't give it to me it won't make much of a difference in the master plan for my life.

After brunch/lunch, my Mom and I decided to go drive across the bridge to Longboat Key and look at the Ringling Art that has been put up on the bayfront in the process. We didn't actually get out of the car and walk around to get a real up close look at the art, but from what I did see there it was some very nice stuff. They seemed to have an overall theme of bronze/brown colors, except for one piece. There is a sculpture there called "The Sound of the Fourth Of July," that is made with metal pieces and has lots of bright splashes of red throughout it. It is really a beautiful piece, and I love the concept. I especially like it in the midst of all the pieces made with bronze or wood. It really stands out. If you are in Sarasota and have the chance, I'd recommend checking them all out. I think the work is better this year than it has been the past few. It was also a beautiful day out, and driving over the bridge, (which is one of my Mom's favorite things to do,) was breathtaking today. The views of the ocean were amazing and it seemed like out in the areas near the beach people were out enjoying the day.

During this drive, my Mom brought up a topic that I hadn't been giving much serious thought to lately. When I say I hadn't been giving much serious thought to it, I mean that it has been on my mind, (as it has been for the past year or two,) but I hadn't really thought too seriously about it due to the fact that it just hasn't seemed plausible since she lost her job and such. She asked me if I still plan on moving back to California at any point. I was born and raised in California, in a small, crack-town called Banning, mostly, although in my teen years I wound up living a little all over the southern portion of the state. I have been thinking for quite a while now about moving back to Southern California, but conditions have to be right for me to do this. First of all, I absolutely refuse to move back to Banning. If I am going to move back to California, I will have to live in the Los Angeles area. Los Angeles is my favorite part of California and as I continue to pursue working on this record and future records, that would be the best place to be to get it done. I have family who lives in the San Fernando Valley who have kind of informally invited me to stay with them, should I want or need to. This is an invitation that I have kept in the back of my head ever since. Moving to L.A. is something I have been wanting to do for most of my life. California is where I belong, L.A. specifically, and I am simply waiting for the time to be right. Right now? It hasn't seemed like the right time to me, but my Mom told me something that may make the right time come along a lot sooner than expected. Right now, she and I are scraping by but it is one of those things where if she were to leave, or I were to leave, neither of us could afford it on our own. She mentioned to me that she has been discussing with her boyfriend the possibility of looking for a job in the area he lives in, which is an hour and a half away from here. It wasn't necessarily stated, but implied, that this would mean her moving in with him. This is something I have been a little afraid of, but have also kind of seen coming, for a while now. I told her, as I have told her before, that this would be fine as long as she sticks around long enough to ride out the lease in our apartment. The lease ends in April of next year, which is a little less than 6 months away. She asked me what I would do if that were to happen. I told her that California would be an option at that point, otherwise it would be looking for roommates to move in with here. While the whole concept of having roommates and such could be okay, the concept of getting back to California that soon is very appealing. Sure, looking for work and starting all over kind of sucks, neither are things that I have not done many times before. Honestly, I have done both so many times before that I have gotten pretty good at them. Plus, I love the concept of living with my family out in the San Fernando Valley. I have never really lived close to them, but I get along very well with all of them and feel very close to them, but I really like the idea of getting to know them on such a personal level now that I am older. This whole idea sounds like a very good thing, and the more I think about it the more I realize that I don't really have anything holding me here. Sure, there is my Mom, my sister and my brother, and my friends, but I can keep in touch. In California, I would have family, as well, and I still have friends out there. I don't know what is going to come of any of this yet, but this idea is very appealing and I would be pretty ecstatic if this were to pan out for me.

The rest of the day was spent just relaxing at home, catching up on some TV shows, (mostly Oprah, 90210 and The Vampire Diaries,) and having a surprisingly delicious dinner of grocery store chicken. You know how grocery stores will have their "Deli" area, and every single one has fried chicken. Normally I find that fried chicken kind of gross and unappetizing, but this was actually really good. I also devised my plan for getting a keyboard by the end of the year. I figured out that if I save $50 from each check left this year, (including the last one, which I have already set aside $50 from,) I will wind up with $200, which should be enough to get a fairly decent keyboard. The keyboard that I REALLY want, on the other hand, is the Yamaha DGX230MS. It costs $399 on buy.com, including shipping. There is also one on bestbuy.com, the Casio WK-500, which seems just as good and is only $299. I suppose I will figure it out when the time comes. I have faith that no matter how much money I wind up with at the time, I will be able to afford and find the perfect keyboard for me. Things are falling into place for me right now, and all I really have to do is have faith that the universe will give me the signs I need to guide me to exactly where I need to be.

There was one last, more topical thing, I wanted to discuss before I end this entry: The first round of Levi Johnston Playgirl pics. I have certainly not made any secret on this blog, or anywhere else, of my passion for Levi Johnston - the kid is gorgeous in that down-homey, boy-next-door sort of way! Well, despite reports from his manager, there was no full-frontal or anything even close to it. Also, despite reports from Levi himself that he had been getting hardcore in the gym for this shoot, his body doesn't look all that impressive. Don't get me wrong, the shoot is very sexy, (I even made one of the pics my wallpaper,) but I don't know that it was really worth all of the hype that it got. I was a little disappointed in one thing, more than the rest, though: his ass. I, for those who don't know, am an ass man. I find it a major turn off when a guy doesn't have much in the way of ass, and Levi isn't necessarily one of those. It is a cute little ass, it is just a little flat and a little flabby. I enjoyed it, anyway, but it certainly could have been better. Overall, though, I think the shoot was a success. He is certainly a good-looking kid and I am looking forward to seeing more of his naked body in the future.

For now, though, it is 3am and I am pretty exhausted. I need to get to bed and get up a little earlier tomorrow. Despite the fact that today felt a lot like a Sunday, tomorrow is actually Sunday. That means the next day is Monday, and if I throw my sleep schedule all out of whack it will not make for a good week at work. Of course, who cares? It is only a three day work week, anyway! I am looking forward to getting those three days over with and having my four day weekend. I can't wait for that. Now it is time for bed, to dream of all the things that have become so clear to me today.