Chapter 227: Invisible Light

Okay, so today was a good day. I woke up at 10am, when my weekend alarm goes off, but hit the snooze button until nearly 10:30am. I went to bed pretty late last night, so I probably needed that extra sleep. I had kind of assumed that my Mom would go out to breakfast or something with my brother and sister-in-law or would sleep pretty late after traveling all day yesterday, so I didn’t want to call her yet. I got myself up, brushed my teeth, did my morning skin care routine and all the usual stuff, including a bowl of Golden Grahams for breakfast. I brought my Golden Grahams into the bedroom and sat down in front of the computer and decided to have a look around on Netflix and see if I couldn’t find a movie to watch while I waited for my Mom to come home. It took me a while to find something that really sparked my interest but eventually I came upon this strange looking indie film called “Watch Out.” “Watch Out” is the story of Jonathan Barrows, a recent college graduate who is heading to Benton Harbor, Michigan to interview for a job teaching at Benton Harbor Community College. It is revealed very early on in the film that Jonathan has no interest at all in women yet he insists he isn’t gay. Indeed, he doesn’t have any interest in men. He seems to find all people disgusting, in fact. He is by no means asexual, though. In fact, he has a pretty intense sexual life – with himself. He is actually in love with himself. He believes that all other beings are inferior to him and he has no problem telling them that. The film includes some very graphic scenes of Jonathan’s sexual life, including taking pictures of his own penis and masturbating looking at them, as well as taping a picture of his own face to a male blow-up doll and making mad, passionate love to it. It is a pretty intense film. It honestly wasn’t that great of a movie and REALLY fell apart at the end when it was revealed that Jonathan has also had a lifelong tendency towards murder and had, in fact, murdered several people throughout his life. Since I don’t really recommend seeing this film, I will go ahead and spoil the ending. Out of nowhere, Jonathan has the world’s most famous pop star, (clearly supposed to be a representation of Britney Spears,) in his home and severs her toes, force feeds them to her and kills her. The film closes on him in his home watching out the window as police surround the place. We don’t know what happens after this point and, in all honesty, by this point in the film we don’t really care. I didn’t, anyway. It was really silly and over the top, which are qualities I have been enjoying in films recently, but they just didn’t work in this one. Basically, this movie would serve as decent porn because the guy playing Jonathan is really hot and is naked, jerking off and all kinds of freaky stuff throughout much of the film. Beyond that, though, the movie just didn’t work and was extremely cracked out… not in the good way.

By the time I finished watching this movie, it was after noon and I had spoken with my Mom. She was going to be home very soon and we made plans to go out for lunch. So, I went into the bathroom to get dressed and do my hair and makeup for the day. I wore a pink/peachy colored polo from Old Navy and wanted to try out a peach/coral colored makeup look because I hadn’t ever done one before. I really liked the way it came out, actually. It was really subtle but still a pretty look. I used a very light colored peach all over the lids and then took a darker, more orange-toned peach color in the crease and blended it up and outward, which gave a really nice, soft effect to the look. Then I blended a dark brown shadow into the crease, as well, to darken and intensify that darker peach color. Then I used a brown gel liner on the upper lash line and my Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Eye Pencil in Bourbon on the bottom and the waterline. Like I said, it was a really soft, pretty look. I loved it. When I came out of the bathroom, I found that my Mom was home already. We hugged and sat talking for a little while before doing anything else. As I’ve been saying this whole time, I am glad that she went but it was REALLY nice to have her back home. She seemed really glad to be home, too. She was also a little sad, though, because I think after the week being with her family and such, coming back home also served as a step back into reality. Unfortunately, that reality includes the fact that her brother is no longer here on earth with us. I know it is going to be a long grieving process but I know that I will do everything I can to be here for her anytime she needs. I just can’t possibly understand what she is going through. I hope I never have to understand it, either, but who knows how that will go for me.

We decided to go to this buffet place in Bradenton that we both enjoy and go to fairly often. I was particularly keen on going to this place because it is a pretty long drive to Bradenton and would give us plenty of time to listen to the new Scissor Sisters record, “Night Work,” on the way. I was really proud of myself for waiting so long to actually listen to it. I have to begin by saying that it was DEFINITELY worth the wait. This album, just like the other two, clicked with me pretty instantly. On the drive today, I didn’t get to give it the full attention I had wanted to initially because my Mom and I were talking the whole time but I still definitely got the effect of it. I have since listened to it, at full attention, a couple times and it is completely brilliant. The album opens with the title track “Night Work,” which is a really catchy, fun song about “living off the system” and spending your evenings out partying and getting into all kinds of debauchery. It is a typical Scissor Sisters party song, which is always great. They don’t just do silly, asinine party tracks like many artists. Everything they do has a much deeper meaning and this song is no exception, with a social commentary about people who lead this type of life. The second track is one of my favorites on this record, called “Whole New Way.” This song is also a very Scissor Sisters song, with a very hypersexual chorus of “I’ve found a whole new way to love you, I’ve got a big surprise, I can’t see your eyes but I think you’ll like it, too.” This song is definitely making a lot of reference to anal sex, which is always fun. The third track on the album is the first single from the album, “Fire With Fire,” which I have already discussed here quite a bit, so no need to go much further with that one. “Fire With Fire” is definitely an anthem of mine, though, about fighting the things inside yourself that are holding you back from doing and being everything you want. The fourth track is called “Any Which Way,” and it kind of reminds me of the song from their debut album, “Filthy/Gorgeous.” It is just a fun, over the top song about going out and trying to find a man to take you “any which way” he can. The best part of this song, though, is the spoke word middle section from Ana Matronic, the bands hype woman/second vocalist. She says, “You know, baby, when I was taking my panty hose out of their egg this evening, I thought to myself, ‘I’m going to find that man who’s the right shade of bottled tan, a man that smells like cocoa butter and cash,’ and I'll say ‘take me any way you like it, in front of the fireplace, in front of your yacht, in front of my parents, I don't give a damn, just take me.’” That moment in the song is particularly special to me because it is one of those classic Scissor Sisters music moments, which are always the best moments of the shows when they are on tour. The fifth track on the record is called “Harder You Get,” which is a great song but probably my least favorite on the album. I think it may be because Jake Shears does pretty much the entire song in this super deep voice that I just don’t find as appealing as his mid-range and falsetto stuff. Still, it is a really good, fun, also hypersexual song. Scissor Sisters are, after all, often at their best when they are being overtly sexual. The sixth song is called “Running Out,” and it is a really cool song, as well. This song is basically discussing the American obsession with excess and how it is all crashing down on us all at this point. One of my favorite things about this band is the fact that they can take heavy topics like that and put a really interesting, clever, fun spin on them. They do it beautifully in this song. It is very upbeat and has a very fun 80s dance vibe to it. Pretty much the entire album has that 80s dance vibe to it, while still sounding completely modern and fresh. The seventh track on this album is another favorite of mine, called “Something Like This.” This is another sexual song, which basically breaks down to being lonely and getting turned on by somebody dancing at a club. The chorus is very simple, lyrically, simply stating “and it goes something like this, something like this, something like this,” but employs some very cool production twists to spice it up a bit. Track number eight is also a favorite of mine, called “Skin This Cat.” Each Scissor Sisters album includes on song with full lead vocals by Ana Matronic, and “Skin This Cat” is that track on this record. It has a very cool, electronic soul vibe. The beat and sound of the song reminds me of one of those classic numbers along the lines of “Tell Me Something Good.” The cat in the title is clearly representative of the vagina, which leads to all kinds of clever puns throughout the lyrics of the song. It is a lot of fun. I love this song. Track number nine is my very favorite song on the album so far, called “Skin Tight,” which is basically expressing the desire to get closer and closer to the person you are with. The chorus says, “You’re so skin tight, you’re never close enough, You’re so skin tight, wrap me in your love, You’re so skin tight, you fit me like a glove, You’re so skin tight, you’re never close enough.” My favorite track on each album has always been the one that is kind of the most open and vulnerable song about love, like “Better Luck” from the first album and “Might Tell You Tonight” from “Ta-Dah!” This is definitely that track on this album. It is beautiful. The tenth track is called “Sex & Violence,” which is basically a song about our culture’s obsession with “Sex & Violence,” although it also definitely makes a lot of reference to not wanting to leave a negative relationship or, as Gaga put it, a “Bad Romance.” The second to last song on the album, track eleven, is called “Night Life,” and is really similar in theme to the title track “Night Work,” except this one is a much more straightforward party song, and features some really fun lead vocals going back and forth between Jake Shears and Ana Matronic. The album ends with the very first song to be leaked off of this album, “Invisible Light.” I was already very familiar with this song but really loved it’s placement in context of the album. “Invisible Light” could be interpreted in many ways but to me it is a song about searching for something more in this world – something greater than that which you’ve known. I love that theme and particularly love it as a closer to this album, which spends much of it’s time commenting on so much of what’s wrong with the world today and describing the type of fun and debauchery and carelessness that has gotten us to this point. I really feel like, more than the previous two albums, this record is much more of a social commentary. It is completely brilliant start to finish. I don’t know why I ever, even if only momentarily, could have expected anything less. Scissor Sisters remain one of my absolute favorite artists of all time. As far as where this record ranks amongst my favorites – that is yet to be determined. I’d have to listen to it much more in order to determine that. Fortunately, I fully intend to listen to it much more. It is amazing and I am in love.

After lunch and listening to the Scissor Sisters, my Mom and I drove by the building where she is interviewing on Tuesday. It is an adorable building right in the heart of downtown, (the good part of downtown,) which is still really close to our house and my work. We are both trying to be extremely positive about this job. We both also have a really good feeling about it. I am really hoping and feeling that she will get this job. It will make such a great difference for our lives right now – a difference that we could REALLY use. It has to happen. Anyway, after that we went and hung out at my sisters house for a while, which was fun. We both had a good time but after about an hour over there, we were both feeling pretty tired and overstuffed from lunch, so decided to come home. First, though, we stopped and picked up a carton of cigarettes for me. I realized after buying those cigarettes, though, that I don’t actually have enough money left in the bank to pay for my piano lessons for this month. I still can’t believe that I have managed to get this far into the month without paying them. I already have to pay for next month out of my next check. It is crazy. If I were smart, I would give up my piano lessons and save myself the money each month. I can’t do that, though. My piano lessons are extremely important to me. I need to learn this. I need to write music. I can’t explain it properly, and I have tried multiple times in this blog before so I am not going to try again but I NEED this to work out. I will make it work, financially. Somehow, I will make it work. If my Mom gets this job, it will be a LOT easier to make it work, so this is yet another reason that she just has to get this job. The Universe is working in my favor and it is not going to allow me to get to a point where I have to quit my piano lessons. It just won’t happen. The Universe won’t allow it to and I won’t allow it to. It is after midnight now, though, so I should probably get to bed. I need to sleep. I have to work in the morning, after all. I am not looking forward to it but it will be alright. Goodnight.