Chapter 215: Family

So, it’s been a crazy past four days. There has been a whole lot going on and the blogs have been posted each night but they were very sad, small excuses for actual blogs. This means that this evening, I’ve kind of got a lot of work to do to catch this thing up. Let’s not waste any time. It all began on Thursday night, although I basically got a full blog out on Thursday. Basically, all that happened on Thursday night was that my Grandma and her friend, Nettie, arrived. We sat up talking for quite a while and it was a lot of fun. As I mentioned in the blog on Thursday night, my Grandma’s friend kind of weirded me out a bit. I feel bad for saying that now because she was really a very nice lady. I just don’t think she was used to being around a lot of different types of people, (i.e., gay people,) and came across a little off-putting to me for a while. She was very nice, though. It was really nice having my Grandma around. My Grandma is really fun because she is basically just like my Mom but a little older and wiser and she has a bit of that “Old World” charm, even though she is actually from California. The only thing I don’t entirely love about my Grandma is the fact that she is a Republican but if she can love me for all of my liberalness, (i.e., gayness,) then I can certainly love her for all of her conservatism. Plus, she is just so cool. It is amazing how well she has held up, as well. She is in her late 70s at this point but you would never know it. She doesn’t come across as that old at all. She doesn’t even look her age. She is a really fascinating woman and is a lot of fun to talk with. It was amazing how much my Mom kind of lit up the whole time she was here. We had a lot of fun hanging out on Thursday night.

On Friday, my Grandma, Nettie, my Mom and I all went to Target, where my brother had registered, to get his wedding gifts. I had already ordered my wedding gift for him the weekend before but I tagged along for the ride just to hang out a little more. After going to Target, we decided to drive over my Mom’s favorite bridge and show them the beach on the other side of it, Lido Beach. Turns out, my Grandma’s friend had never actually been outside of the little cluster of states surrounding Arkansas, so coming to Florida was a pretty big deal for her. She had never seen the ocean before or anything, so it was pretty exciting for her to go out to the beach. We only stayed at the beach for a few minutes then went out to lunch. By the time we got back from lunch, it was pretty late in the afternoon and was getting close to time to go pick up my Aunt JoAnn and cousin Chelsea from the airport in Tampa. I decided not to go along with them for that because there wouldn’t really be room for me and I wanted to go to my sister’s girlfriend’s daughter’s Graduation from High School. It was a little crazy because I hadn’t been to a High School Graduation in nearly 10 years, when my best friend graduated. I had no idea all that was involved in the whole process, or how long it would take. Being here in Florida, attending an outdoor graduation in the month of June is pretty insane. I was really excited, though, to see how much of a crowd showed up for her graduation. We had a whole bunch of people in our little section cheering for her. I was most excited to see my dear old friend, Kessler, who I hadn’t seen in ages. He moved to Tampa last year and I hadn’t seen him or even gotten to talk to him much since then, so it was really good to see that he came down for the graduation. After the graduation ceremony ended, we all went back to my sister’s house for a little after party. It was a lot of fun and gave me a chance to talk with some people I hadn’t really seen much in a while, as well as meeting some cool new people. It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun and was a shame I had to cut out early. My Mom was text messaging me after a while because I had to wake up at around 5:45am the next morning. The plan had become that my Mom’s boyfriend was going to get up early and drive me down to Fort Myers so I could be there by 9am for the wedding rehearsal. So, I had my sister drive me home where my Mom, her boyfriend, my grandma, her friend, my cousin, Chelsea, and my Aunt JoAnn were waiting. I was really excited to see my Aunt and cousin, and to be reminded of what a fierce diva my Aunt JoAnn is. Truly, she is an inspiration to me in many ways. She is sassy and fun and just a general joy to be around. I stayed up a little later than I should have talking with Chelsea, who I realized I have pretty much everything in common with. As I mentioned in the blog last night, I had never realized that because we hadn’t spent much time together as adults. She is a lot of fun.

The next morning, I managed to get up on time and get myself dressed and made up in time to be out the door by 6:45am. My brother met us in Port Charlotte so my Mom’s boyfriend wouldn’t have to drive as far. We got back into Fort Myers just shortly after 8am and went to my brother’s old apartment where his fiancé was staying to pick up something. When we got there, the bride and her maid of honor were just leaving to go pick up another bridesmaid before heading out to the resort where the wedding was being held. My brother and I stopped to get breakfast from Chick-Fil-A then headed to the resort. I was really impressed with the place when I saw it. It was a really gorgeous location and the beach was a beautiful backdrop for the ceremony. Of course, we realized after being at the location for only a few minutes that it was excessively hot out and would only get worse as the day wore on. We were basically just standing around waiting for people the bulk of the time we were out there for rehearsals. It did give me a chance to hang out with the groomsmen for a little while, which was fun. I had met a couple of them before, at a housewarming party my brother and his girlfriend threw when they bought their house. They were pretty cool guys and I got along with them pretty well. I was concerned initially that it would be kind of awkward hanging out with a bunch of straight guys for the day but we managed to avoid that pretty well. They even changed their clothes in front of me, which I made it a point not to look at because my brother’s friends are kind of hot and I didn’t want to be weird. The other big thing happening that day, which I was slightly nervous about, was seeing my Grandma on my Dad’s side for the first time in about 7 years. I hadn’t even spoken with her in four or five years so I wasn’t expecting it to be a very positive meeting. I wasn’t sure what it would be like, honestly, and that was the part that made me nervous. She, as well as my aunt Kim and her girlfriend, Amber, met us at the rehearsal and it was all well and good. I was kind of making it a point to avoid much conversation with my Grandma and focus more on my newly gay aunt and her girlfriend. Her girlfriend was really nice. I liked her quite a bit. After the rehearsal ended, my brother decided that we should go hang out with that side of the family for a while. My aunt’s girlfriend is a big Jimmy Buffett fan and wanted to go out to Sanibel Island, which is apparently somewhere that he discusses in his music or something like that, (obviously, I am NOT a big Jimmy Buffett fan – I find his music really annoying, for the most part.) So, we went out there. My brother and I decided to stop at one of those silly little shops on the beach to buy some shorts since neither of us had any with us. He managed to find some but this place didn’t have any that would fit me. So, instead I just rolled up my jeans and went out on the beach that way. It wasn’t ideal but it worked out fine. After hanging out with them for a while and taking them out to lunch, we separated from them to go get haircuts and get changed for the wedding. After being out on the beach all morning, we were both in desperate need of a shower. So, we went back to his house and both took showers and got into our fancy, long-sleeved, all black outfits for the wedding. As soon as we left the rehearsals, we were both saying that the long-sleeved black shirts had been a bad idea. Still, it looked really nice. We stopped on the way back to the resort and picked up some beers, since we were going to have to be hanging out there for a while before the wedding. At rehearsals, the wedding photographer had asked us to be back there by 4pm and the wedding didn’t start until 6pm. When we got there we found that there was absolutely no reason for us to be there and basically just wound up hanging out for those 2 hours. Initially, we were hanging out in the suite at the resort that one of the bride’s aunts had gotten them for their wedding night. This suite, by the way, was gorgeous, complete with a Jacuzzi on a balcony overlooking the beach. Eventually, though, we got kicked out of the suite because the bridesmaids and everybody were getting ready in there. Instead, they stuck us in this weird storage room where we had to wait for the rest of the time. A bunch of the bride’s other male family members started pouring into this room, as well, and it was a little mini-party going on in there until the wedding started. The ceremony itself was really beautiful. The groomsmen spent much of the ceremony quietly cracking jokes and I was having a really hard time keeping myself from laughing. After the wedding, the bridal party then had to go off to the other side of the beach for more pictures, while the rest of the guests went in for appetizers and such. For the bridesmaids, this was a pretty involved process, but all of the groomsmen basically sat around getting more and more desperate to go inside, out of the heat, and where there was food and drinks. This took a long time to happen and even once we did get inside, the entire bridal party had to go wait in that storage room again until it was time to do introductions. The introductions were a lot of fun, though. They introduced each bridesmaid and groomsman in pairs, so I was paired with the maid of honor, the bride’s best friend, and we did this really cute twirl when we came out. After we walked out for the introductions, I got to go say hello to all of my family who I didn’t get to before the ceremony while my brother and Brandy, his wife now, had their first dance. I don’t know what anybody else thought of the song they chose for their first dance but my sister, cousin and I all thought it was brilliant – “Miserable” by Lit. It was an absolutely perfect choice for the two of them. I loved it. Then I spent nearly an hour trying to go out and smoke a cigarette but kept getting pulled back inside for more pictures or some other random thing. It was a mess. All of the groomsmen were sick of having pictures taken and even Brandy was getting really pissed off at the photographer. Then, just when I thought I finally had my chance, it was time for the speeches. Now, I hadn’t been nervous at all about my speech prior to this point but suddenly my concept didn’t seem like something that I could really build upon enough to create a good off-the-cuff speech. While we were waiting to begin the speeches, somebody in the room dropped a glass and it made a really loud, crashing sound. Everybody stopped to look and, just being silly, I shouted out “Mazel Tov!” The bridal party got a little kick out of that, so after giving a brief speech about how my brother was always so independent and how surprising it was to be sitting here at his wedding, I ended the whole thing with another “Mazel Tov!” which I think confused most people. The maid of honor then got up and gave this really beautiful speech, where she read notes that Brandy had written her in high school talking about Bobby. She even cried. She really put my Jewy little speech to shame. Still, my brother, all the groomsmen and all of my family that were there told me that they thought my speech was really good. Once the speeches were over, I finally got to go have a cigarette. My sister’s girlfriend came with me and told me about some drama that had gone on involving my Dad’s side of the family and the seating arrangements. At this point, I had eaten and all of my duties were done with, so I decided to start drinking. After about four glasses of White Zinfandel, I was feeling pretty good. Then, I was standing by the bar waiting for another glass when suddenly a gorgeous woman in her 40s popped up behind me and asked me to dance. Turns out, she was a “friend of the family.” She was actually the bride’s aunt but she was a friend of the gay family and she was ready to gay it up. She kept talking about the fact that nobody was dancing and she wanted to get them to, so I was her dance partner for all kinds of good old gay disco and we actually did manage to get other people dancing, as well. I danced a LOT at this wedding, more than I expected I would. It was a lot of fun, though, and my Aunt JoAnn and Chelsea came out on the dance floor with me, as well as some of the bridesmaids and even the bride and her mother. It was a lot of fun. It had been a really long time since I had gone out dancing so this was a really good time for me. I had a lot of fun. Eventually, I wore myself out and all of my family was ready to make the trek back up to Sarasota, so I said my goodbyes to all of the bridal party and such and left. It was a really long day but I had a lot of fun. My brother text messaged me later that night and said thank you for being a part of the wedding, although in much different terms because my brother is a bit of a nerd. It was really sweet of him and I don’t think I realized beforehand exactly how much it meant to him that I was his best man. Like I said before, I was surprised that he even asked me and was very honored to have the opportunity to be there for him. Honestly, I feel like I came out of this weekend a lot closer to both him and Brandy, my new sister-in-law. It was a really great experience overall.

Sunday my brother decided to come up to Sarasota with my Dad’s side of the family so both sides could go out to dinner together. My Mom’s side, however, are not huge fans of my Dad’s side, so it was a little strange and we were all concerned that it would be uncomfortable. It turned out perfectly fine, though, and we managed to avoid any sort of conflict or anything. At Dinner, we managed to sort it out so my cousin Chelsea and I sat by my brother and Brandy, and then our Grandmas and our Mom’s side sat on the other side of them because they hadn’t gotten to really spend any time with them and we all wanted to make sure that the dinner wasn’t monopolized by the other side of the family. It all worked out really well, until that part that I mentioned in Sunday night’s blog about letting it slip to my Grandma on my Dad’s side that I had been out to California twice since moving here without visiting her or any of them. I do feel bad that she is aware of that. I just haven’t had any real desire to see that side of the family since leaving there. I know it sounds bad but it’s just the way I feel. I can’t help it. I believe that our families are the people that we choose to have in our lives and I don’t feel any obligation to people who I don’t choose to have in my life, particularly ones who have been very negative elements for both myself and, even more, my Mother. Still, if this long weekend has left me with anything it is a much stronger sense of family – My Mom’s side of the family and my brother, sister, new sister-in-law and Mom. These are all people who I have chosen to have in my life, regardless of whether or not they are blood to me. Even my best friend, Don, and my friends here in Florida are like family to me. I have chosen a family for myself who I absolutely love and adore. It’s been a great weekend and I am really thankful for every bit of it. It has all left me with a much greater feeling than I had before – I feel a LOT less alone in this world.

There are other issues that I have been wanting to discuss here, like the pictures I have seen from the wedding and how unhappy I am with my looks in them, as well as some more frivolous stuff, like the world premiere of Lady Gaga’s new video, “Alejandro,” and the leak of the new Sarah McLachlan album, “Laws Of Illusion,” but this will all have to be saved for another day. I am getting this blog done early tonight so I can watch the season finale of “Glee,” which I’m sure I will wind up discussing tomorrow, as well as a brand new Kathy Griffin special airing tonight, called “Kathy Does The Bible Belt.” So, having the blog done early will allow me to stay up to watch these things and still be in bed on time to return to my real, everyday life tomorrow. I am not entirely looking forward to it but I will survive. So, it is kind of early but I will simply say what I always say at the end of these blogs: Goodnight.