Chapter 359: The Wind Beneath My Wings

It is Sunday morning, 9:33am, and I am awake. This is QUITE unusual, considering the fact that last night was SUCH A FUCKING MESS! I don't know how to explain that exactly but I kind of mean it in a good way and a bad way at the same time. You see, for anyone who managed to forget after the past several days of this blog, last night was my Halloween party! I spent the bulk of the daytime yesterday just doing random last minute cleaning and spent a long time working on the second version of my costume, which kind of became a big mess throughout the process. The pants ripped and the black shirt that I bought to go over my red fishnet shirt was ruined when I kept cutting a little too much and wound up falling apart completely. So, I wound up deciding to live a little and just wore the fishnet shirt on it's own. For the first portion of the evening feeling kind of self-conscious about this and covering my nipples every time I stopped and thought of it, which wasn't all that often - nowhere near as often as I would have liked, honestly. I also spent a long time working on the makeup for the second version of my costume because I had decided to reimagine it a little bit at the last minute. You see, inspiration kind of struck me on Friday night when Rachel & I were at "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" & I went with this whole new Dr. Frank N. Furter element to the look, which I really enjoyed. I liked the way it came out a lot, although it didn't take long for that to wind up getting smudged & fucked up looking, from what I understand.

So, as the day wore on I found myself falling more and more into the Martha Plimpton "200 Cigarettes" frame of mind, where I was obsessively sitting around being like "OMG NOBODY IS COMING!!!" I had made my mind up beforehand, though, that there were only like 4 people required to show up in order for me to have a good night, & those 4 people were all amongst the earliest arrivals, so I was okay with it. I didn't have a HUGE turnout but I was pretty happy with the people who did turn up, I think. The thing is, there were only 4 people here, aside from myself, until around 9pm and to combat my feelings of paranoia that nobody was going to show up I decided to start drinking the Hunch Punch really early. Hunch Punch, for those who don't know, is basically a big mashup of different liquors and different fruit juices combined to make a big fruity mess. Seriously, the beauty of the Hunch Punch is the fact that you can't really taste the liquor in it at all but there is a LOT of it in there. So, you don't really notice what's happening there until it hits you. I drank a LOT of that stuff before more people started showing up, so by the time they did I was already in one of those places where I didn't entirely understand everything that was going on. What I did understand, though, was the fact that people actually showed up to my party. In fact, a bunch of people I didn't even know showed up. I was okay with it, though, because, like I mentioned before, I didn't have a whole lot of understanding of what was going on around me by this time. It wasn't until my sister arrived, which was actually pretty late, that I realized exactly how fucked up I really was. I don't know what it is exactly but she has a way of making me very aware of myself when I am out of control or just generally being a mess, which was definitely the case last night. So, once she got here I started to realize how much of a mess I was but this was also when I started to realize how much of a mess everybody else was. It's a funny thing, honestly, because amongst most of my friends in the past and such I have always been used to being the drunkest person in the room, so I just kind of assumed that this was the case last night as well, but once I started looking around a little bit more I realized that there were a few other people who were right there with me. I also realized then how much it may have been necessary to be concerned about people. I had told 3 people before the party that they were welcome to crash here if they needed and those were really the only 3 people I felt entirely comfortable having in my house while I was sleeping. So, when I started noticing how fucked up a lot of people were I became slightly concerned. Fortunately for me, I was in a place by this point where I REALLY didn't understand anything that was happening. I don't know how fortunate this was for my best friend & co-host, Rachel. I actually don't know how yesterday evening would have gone had it not been for Rachel. I didn't actually realize until around this time how NOT drunk Rachel was. She kept all her shit together & kept the whole party under control. Seriously, I couldn't possibly feel more grateful for Rachel last night - she was my fucking hero for the evening - the wind beneath my wings & shit. I honestly could not appreciate her part of the whole thing more. She really kept things under control in a way that I could not possibly have done. I couldn't really say enough great things about Rachel last night, or in general. She is my BFF. I do feel really bad, though, that she didn't even get fucked up. She stayed sober, pretty much, the entire night. I just feel bad that she wasn't able to let loose and go nuts like I did. She said it was fine and that she probably would have been that way regardless of whether or not I was as shit-faced as I was. Still, I hate that she had to spend even a portion of her evening wrangling me & keeping me under control, aside from everybody else who was here.

So, the place kind of started clearing out somewhere between 1-2am and, after a minor issue with getting a guy out who made Rachel really uncomfortable, it was down to myself, Rachel & the 2 other people who I told could crash here. We were all kind of fucked up but winding down. We all decided that we were starving & needed food. We were initially going to just cook something here but we had issues with finding something to eat here, so we decided that Rachel was sober enough to drive us to Munchies 420 Cafe to pick up some food from there. So, we all piled into her car, rocked out to some of Rachel & I's favorite party music, like Katy Perry & Ke$ha, and made it to Munchies before I noticed anything had happened. As we were walking into Munchies some people who were standing outside told me to make sure to get on the camera. I wasn't sure what they were talking about exactly until I actually walked inside the building and found myself being filmed by this big ass professional camera. Apparently, the people who run Munchies 420 Cafe are trying to start a reality show and they were filming for it that night. As I had mentioned earlier, my nipples were out and after all the alcohol I drank throughout the evening I was thinking a lot less about them and just letting them hang out. So, if this reality show actually pans out for the owners of Munchies my nipples may actually wind up on the TV somewhere. Maybe they could become a viral video, then they could become a web redemption on Tosh.0, then somehow I could wind up having a bunch of sex with Daniel Tosh, and I would be okay with all of that. Fuck it, they're just nipples. Of course, aside from the nipples, there is also the fact that, apparently, when you put a camera in front of me I don't know how to stop talking. Seriously, this camera guy was on me the entire time we were in there, doing the up & down on my barely covered body and such. It was definitely a mess. The camera guy was cute, though, so I didn't really mind him examining my body in such a way. He could make a movie with me any day. I'm kidding, of course... Kind of.

Anyway, as I said, it was kind of a big mess last night but I had an amazing time & was extremely grateful that I had people around keeping an eye on me and making sure everything was under control. No one did this more than Rachel, but my sister & her girlfriend were also looking out really well while they were here, as well. It is good to be aware of the people you can count on. I mean, I was already aware of this but it was nice to be reminded. It was also nice to be completely shit-faced for the evening and chill with cool people and let my nipples loose. Great times. Goodnight.