Chapter 352: Raindrops

Okay, so let me go ahead and start right from the beginning of this day. I woke up at 8am this morning, which was really strange for me because I NEVER get up that early on the weekend. In spite of the fact that I was awake, though, I was nowhere near ready to get out of bed. So, I put on the new Taylor Swift record, “Speak Now,” and decided to give it a second listen, after going to bed listening to it last night. Where do I even begin to talk about this record? Well, I guess the best place to start would be to state that I had an extremely biased opinion on this record going into it because of the simple fact that I LOVE Taylor Swift. I am a huge fan of her previous two albums and I find her to be absolutely adorable and a wonderful role model for young people today. I love the fact that her music frequently seems to spread a positive message to the world, and even her love songs and such always seem to have a really positive slant on them in the end. So, like I said, I went into this record already expecting to fall in love with it and, I have to say, I was not disappointed. I am not going to do a full-blown track-by-track review here but there are a few key tracks that I really want to talk about. The first of these songs is the album’s opening track and first single, “Mine.” I heard “Mine” for the first time a couple of months ago and liked it, but I didn’t really pay it too much attention because I was kind of in a Katy Perry haze at the time. Listening to the song now and reading a few different interviews with Taylor discussing songs on the record, I have come to see it in a very different way than I did initially and have fallen in love with it. “Mine” is essentially a “Love Story” style song, chronicling a relationship going through ups and downs, with a chorus of “Do you remember we were sitting there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time. You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter. You are the best thing that’s ever been mine.” This song tells a much more mature story than any of her previous work has told, even going into discussing a marriage that seems to be breaking down but winds up working out in the end by remembering the things that brought them together in the first place. It is a really good song, either way, but I became much more drawn in to the whole concept of the song after reading a recent interview in which Taylor talks about the fact that she wrote this song about one of those moments where you meet someone or when you are just starting to get involved with somebody and kind of build up this whole story in your head of your entire relationship with this person. That is definitely something that I can relate to a lot. I have had many of those moments in my life and have written many songs based on those concepts myself, so it is kind of cool to see somebody else doing the same thing. Another favorite track of mine on the album is the title track, “Speak Now,” which is another one in a similar vein as “Love Story” or “Mine,” in the sense that it is telling a whole story that has only actually happened in her imagination. This is the story of a girl watching a guy that she is in love with getting ready to marry somebody who isn’t right for him. The song opens with the line, “I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion but you are not the kind of guy who should be marrying the wrong girl,” and goes on to a chorus that says, “Don’t say yes, Run away now, I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door, Don’t wait or say a single vow, You need to hear me out, and they said Speak Now.” Aside from the whole marriage element, this is a concept that I found myself immediately drawn into because it is something that I can kind of relate to in a lot of ways right now. I am also really drawn into the whole concept of the “Speak now or forever hold your peace” line because it really gives the sense of urgency, like “you better do this now before it’s too late.” That is another concept that I can relate to right now. Another favorite song of mine on this record is the sixth track, called “Mean.” “Mean” is a song that is particularly close to my heart and a really important message to be spread right now, in light of the recent suicides brought on by kids being bullied and abused by their peers. The chorus of this song says, “Someday I’ll be living in a big old city and all you’re ever going to be is mean, Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me and all you’re ever going to be is mean.” I don’t know when this song was written or whether or not it was inspired by any of the recent bullying cases, involving gay kids or otherwise, but I definitely think it is a very positive song to be releasing right now and I really hope it winds up being released as a single at some point. The last song I am going to talk about here is called “The Story Of Us,” which I think should definitely be a front-runner for second single from this album because it is simply brilliant. This is, by far, the most pop sounding track on the record and sounds like it was specifically designed for Top 40 radio, as opposed to country radio. This is a pretty clear-cut breakup song, from the perspective of a little while after the breakup, talking about having never expected the story of your relationship to wind up the way it has. The chorus says, “Now I’m standing alone in a crowded room and we’re not speaking, & I’m dying to know if it’s killing you like it’s killing me, yeah, I don’t know what to say, it’s just a twist of fate that it all broke down, but the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.” This song is simply gorgeous, and if you are just going to download a song or two from this record I absolutely recommend downloading this one. The entire album is brilliant, honestly, but my favorite tracks would be all of those mentioned above, as well as “Sparks Fly,” “Back To December,” “Dear John,” “Never Grow Up,” “Enchanted,” “Innocent,” and “Better Than Revenge.” As has been the case with both of her previous albums, I really feel like the first half of the album is much stronger than the second half but, as was also the case with the first two albums, the entire thing is brilliant. I definitely recommend picking up this record when it comes out this coming Tuesday, October 26.

I didn’t really do a whole lot after getting out of bed, beyond dicking around on the Internet and doing a whole lot of nothing important there. The next major event of the day came around noon when I heard a knock at my front door. It was the mailman and he had a package for me. This package was something I actually wasn’t expecting until the beginning of next week – my second order from Sugarpill Cosmetics! After receiving the first shipment from them, the Burning Heart palette, and completely falling in love with it, I simply had to go back and order more. Sugarpill currently only has a collection of 9 pressed eye shadows and 18 loose shadows, which is not that wide of a variety but is very impressive for a startup company like this. With the palette that I received today, I now have all but one of the pressed shadows. The only one I am missing is called Bulletproof, and it is a matte black. I am not in any huge rush to get this one because I already have plenty of matte blacks, although I am really curious about this one based on all of the other pressed shadows I have. They just have a really different feel to them than any other shadows I have used. The pigmentation on every one of these shadows is completely insane and they stay on insanely well. I mean, I wore a look to work earlier this week using the four shades in the Burning Heart palette and was shocked to have made it through my entire 10 hour work day, and a couple more hours after work, with the colors still completely intact and only showing slight signs of fading. I really cannot say enough good things about this brand of cosmetics and am really excited to try even more of their products, even though I am kind of terrified of loose eye shadows. Anyway, the palette I received today is called the Sweetheart palette and includes four more shades of Sugarpill pressed shadows, including a hot pink called Dollipop, a bright medium blue called Afterparty, an insanely gorgeous green called Midori and a matte white called Tako. I was really excited to try out these shadows, especially Dollipop, because I love a good hot pink shadow, and Midori because it is named after and really captures the color of my signature alcoholic beverage. So, I threw together a look using the four shades in this palette, as well as Poison Plum from the Burning Heart palette, and I have to say that I was really proud of my work with these. It was really bright and extremely well blended. I especially loved the fact that I did this cool effect where you only see pink in the inner corner and coming off of the outer corner of the eye. It kind of pulled it all together beautifully. I don’t know how to explain that exactly, so I am going to include a picture.


I think I may actually try to do my very first makeup tutorial video for this look. I am not sure yet – I am very apprehensive about delving into the world of making tutorial videos because the lighting in my house is kind of terrible for it. Still, it is something that I intend to sort out because I feel like the new beauty blog I am starting would be kind of incomplete without including instructional videos or tutorials. So, that is something that I will be working on moving forward.

I spent a good portion of this afternoon lying in my bed listening to the other major leak of yesterday, Cheryl Cole’s new record “Messy Little Raindrops.” This was kind of the one I was more excited for, of the two, so I had already listened to it a couple of times last night. The main reason I had listened to it a couple of times already last night was not because I was so blown away by it that I had to hear it again right away. In fact, it was kind of the opposite. I went into this record expecting to fall instantly in love with it, as well, because I definitely had that reaction to Cheryl’s first record, “3 Words.” This album, however, did not have that instantaneous feeling that “3 Words” did. It’s not to say that I didn’t like it upon first listen but I was kind of confused by it upon first listen. Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say that I was confused by it so much as I was just kind of surprised at how much I wasn’t drawn into it immediately. After listening to it a second time, I liked it quite a bit more. It wasn’t until I was lying in bed listening to it this afternoon, though, that it really hit me. I don’t know if I just wasn’t paying attention the first couple of times or if it is just one of those records that don’t hit you immediately. Either way, it was on my third listen to this record that it really finally struck me – this record is fucking GORGEOUS! One thing that needs to be mentioned right off the bat about this record is that it is being released almost exactly one year after the release of “3 Words.” That is a very brief period in which to have recorded and released a whole new record. Add to this the fact that this was an extremely tumultuous year for Cheryl, during which she divorced her husband after a huge cheating scandal and had a bout with Malaria, which actually nearly killed her. Knowing these facts, it makes a lot of sense that this record is incredibly moody. It is much more moody than “3 Words” ever dreamed of being. When I say that this record is moody, I mean that in sonic terms, (it covers a pretty wide musical landscape,) and lyrical terms, (it also covers a very wide range of emotions in it’s lyrics.) All of that being said, and a few listens in, I cannot recommend this record enough. It is absolutely beautiful. One of my favorite things about this record, too, is that it includes three ballads. The last album only had one. I also really love the sound of this record, which leans much more towards actual dance music than the urban-influenced pop vibe that “3 Words” had. Both sounds work out beautifully for Cheryl but I have to say that I find the dance style much more suited to her all around. The first song that has to be mentioned here is the album’s first single, “Promise This.” This is the opening track to the album and does a really great job of setting the pace for the rest of the record. The song opens with a sample of a classic French children’s tune, “Alouette uette uette, Alouette uette uette, Alouette uette uette, deployer l’aile,” which is insanely catchy and kind of a brilliant move to through into a pop song. The song itself is much more dance than anything Cheryl has done before and the lyrics immediately seem much more personal than anything from her last record. This song is basically about the fear of watching a relationship breakdown and come to an end, with a gorgeous chorus that says, “Promise this, if I die before I wake, Promise this, take the time to say your grace, On your knees you’ll pray for me, Promise this, be the last to kiss my lips.” It is gorgeous and as soon as I heard this song a couple of months ago I knew that the album was going to be something completely different than the last one. The next song I want to mention is probably my favorite on the record, the very last track, called “Waiting.” “Waiting” is my favorite track on this record, I think. In terms of the sound of the song, it is kind of insane in the best possible way – it is a clear dance song, with a very pop slant to it. It has one of those very ethereal sounds to it – I don’t know how to explain it exactly but it kind of feels like floating. The most important part of the sound of this song, though, that really kind of takes the song to a completely different level is the sample included in the pre-chorus bridge section – over a dance beat and these large, sweeping synth sounds, you can hear that classic, iconic piano riff from Vanessa Carlton’s song “A Thousand Miles.” It was completely unexpected but like I said, it really takes the song to a completely different level. It is absolutely gorgeous. It is not just the sound of this song that makes it my favorite, though. The lyrics on this song are beautiful and kind of break my heart every time I hear it, in spite of the joyous sound of the song. The song is basically about the frustration one can feel when they are holding out hope for the person they love to finally get their shit together and do right. The chorus says, “Waiting around all of the time, waiting around all of the time for you to get it right, Waiting around all of the time, waiting around all of the time for you and something to believe in, In another world, in another life I’d still belong to you, In another time you’d still be mine, I’d still belong to you.” This is a concept that I can relate to in many different ways. In fact, once again in spite of the joyous sound of the music on this song, it actually made me cry the first time I listened to it, but this may just be a result of my heightened emotional state right now, (which I will go into a bit more in a minute.) This entire album is absolutely brilliant and I highly recommend checking it out but there is only one more song that I want to discuss here because it is exceptionally close to my heart at this time. This would be the seventh track on the album, called “Raindrops.” This song is actually describing trying to rebuild a relationship that has fallen apart. Actually, I don’t know if it is so much about trying to rebuild a relationship as it is about trying to move on from one – it’s not entirely clear. The lyrics use a beautiful metaphor, saying “You were the tree, I was the apple, I fell to the ground and turned brown, Hate was the wind but love was the secret that blew us to where we are now.” The song goes on to a chorus that says, “Now love can’t grow without tiny little raindrops, tiny little, tiny little, messy little raindrops.” This chorus immediately struck me, more than anything else on this record, because it is such a universal truth that hadn’t necessarily dawned on me before. You see, as anybody who has been paying attention knows, love is what I am looking for right now. Love is the goal that I am working towards right now and what I feel most strongly about in my life right now. I have found myself recently feeling kind of discouraged after a few different dealings with boys that have just not come into fruition for one reason or another. Hearing this song really kind of put things into perspective for me a little bit – Perhaps all of these things, all of these disappointments recently, have simply been my “messy little raindrops.” It is true that love doesn’t really come without a little bit of a struggle, a little bit of pain and a little bit of a mess. That is all that is happening right now. I am just experiencing some “messy little raindrops,” and I have absolute faith that love will grow from these experiences. I don’t know how exactly or in what form it will come but I know that it will come. Aside from the three tracks I discussed above, my favorite tracks on this record would be “Live Tonight,” which was produced by Will.I.Am and has kind of an “I Gotta Feeling” vibe to it, the album’s second single, “The Flood,” “Hummingbird,” “Better To Lie,” which features a guy with a gorgeous voice named August Rigo, and “Happy Tears,” which is just a wonderful, inspiring song about moving on from heartbreak. I cannot say enough good things about this record and HIGHLY recommend checking it out.

Aside from that, I spent the evening driving out to Venice with my Mom for our long-standing weekend tradition of driving all the way to Venice to get Panda Express from a drive-through, even though we could just as easily go get it from the food court in the mall. It is something random that we both really enjoy. On the way out to Venice, the emotional mess that I mentioned earlier kind of reared its ugly head. There are a few different things going on in my life right now that have kind of left me in a highly emotional state right now. One of those things kind of came bursting out of me in the car yesterday listening to one of my favorite songs, “Dancing On My Own” by Robyn and finding myself on the verge of tears listening to the lyrics. This song really kind of killed me yesterday. The chorus of this song says, “I’m in the corner watching you kiss her, I’m right over here, why can’t you see me? I’m giving it my all but I’m not the guy you’re taking home, I keep dancing on my own.” It is basically just a big description of watching the person you love with somebody else. I just sat there yesterday in the car on the way to Venice finding myself relating to this whole concept entirely too much and it caused me to have a little bit of a breakdown. I don’t want to talk too much about it but it has definitely left me in a very emotional state over the past little while and it sucks. There is this other situation that kind of arose from that situation on Friday, as well. Well, not exactly – the two situations are completely unrelated but the emotional state I was in from one kind of led me to think about the other. You see, I have talked in this blog quite a bit, (although not in quite a while,) about the fact that I have always been one of those people who will have a group of friends for a little while and then, for one reason or another, will just kind of drift away from them and suddenly find that these people aren’t my friends at all anymore and I am suddenly in the midst of a whole new group of friends. The reason I talked about this so much more at the middle point of the blog is because I had a group of friends at the time that I really loved and appreciated and did not want to let go of. I talked a lot about how I really didn’t want that to happen with these friends. I was sitting here on Friday afternoon and found myself suddenly noticing that, without realizing it, the whole thing had pretty much happened – I was no longer in much contact with that old group of friends and I have found myself in the midst of a new group of friends. It was weird because this was the first time that had ever really dawned on me. It made me really sad to come to this realization. So, I decided to reach out to one of these people, the one I was always the closest with, my friend Whitney. I mean, I was close with all of these people but one has kind of turned out to be a lost cause, in a lot of ways, and the rest I have kind of maintained a friendship with that simply isn’t as close as it once was. Whitney, on the other hand, used to be one of my best friends. We used to talk a LOT and tell each other anything and everything. It made me really sad to sit and realize that I have no clue what is going on in her life at this point and that she probably has no clue what is going on in mine. So, I reached out to her on Friday evening and said that we needed to talk but it just didn’t pan out, then we were supposed to talk Saturday but I just never heard from her throughout the day. This made me really sad, too, and coupled with my heightened emotions based on the other thing, I was left feeling kind of a mess. Fortunately, a little later on last night, I finally did talk to her and we kind of came to the realization that our friendship is still intact but that it needs to be nurtured a bit more. So, hopefully that will pan out properly. It was just really good to talk to her for a while and I was really glad to catch up. The whole conversation just really improved the emotional state that I was in immensely. Sure, there are still things that are not going how I want them to but, like I concluded above, those things are nothing but raindrops - nothing but messy little raindrops. Love is going to grow – I can feel it.

So, for now, it is Sunday afternoon and I really need to get started on my day – I need to do some cleaning around this house and do some laundry and various things like that. I also need to watch “Cabaret,” as I have had the DVD from Netflix for the past couple of weeks and have yet to watch it. I don’t know what it is exactly but I just haven’t been in a mood for watching movies for the past little while. I need to get back to watching more movies with my free time – after all, I am paying for the Netflix service, I should probably use it as more than just a little Streisand machine. Perhaps I will do a bit of that today. Who knows? What I know now is that I am hungry. I’m going to go find something to eat and get stated on all the shit that I need to do today. Have a good day!