Chapter 122: Chicago

Today. What is there to be said about today? It was one of those typical Sundays, for me, where I don’t leave the house at all. Unlike most of those Sundays, though, I managed to get a lot accomplished today. It felt like a very productive day, in a lot of ways. One lesson that I picked up from the book “The Science Of Getting Rich,” was the concept of trying to accomplish as much as possible in each day. Basically, the book says that you can get rich by willing riches into existence for yourself, but the way that you will them into existence is by “thinking and acting in a certain way.” That certain way is, essentially, with purpose. Even if you aren’t doing things that are moving you towards your goals of getting rich, you should perform every act in your life with a sense of purpose. If you are not acting with purpose then you are putting out a frequency of a lack of purpose and not asking anything of the Universe, which is not the way to get anything from the Universe. It makes a lot of sense. Sure, my goals are not necessarily for riches but I am certainly living with a purpose and it makes sense that I should be putting out the frequency of purpose out into the Universe. With that whole concept in mind, I can definitely say that I achieved all that I was able to today and performed each task with a sense of purpose.

As I stated I would need to do in last night’s blog the first thing I did when I woke up, aside from brushing my teeth and using my Clean & Clear Morning Burst Facial Cleanser, was gather up a load of laundry to get the ball rolling on that whole process. After putting in my first load of laundry, I don’t know what came over me or why, except for the concept mentioned above, but I decided that I could stand to do a little more cleaning in my bedroom. It has been a fucking mess for a long time now and I guess I caught the Spring Cleaning bug a little early this year, but I decided that I needed to clean and organize my closet. On Friday, with our paychecks, my work handed out fliers stating that they are doing a clothing drive, collecting used clothes for the local homeless. As soon as I saw this flier, I knew that I should take part. It just so happens that I have a TON of clothes in my closet. Of that ton, there are a lot that I just don’t wear anymore for varying reasons. Some don’t fit right anymore, some are out dated and some just don’t fit in with my personal style anymore. In any sense, I happen to have a lot of clothes that I really don’t have a use for anymore. I spent the first few hours of the day gathering and bagging up a lot of these clothes to go to the needy. This city has a major problem with homeless people, and I figure it’s always a good idea to give a helping hand in some way. Plus, I love the idea of spotting some stylish homeless man and being like, “OMG That’s my shirt!” Okay, so that is much less of a motivator than the first part, but still a funny thing to think of. I have two large trash bags filled with clothes to give away now, and there is a bin in the bottom of my closet that I could also stand to go through and probably give away most of.

In the process of gathering up these items, though, I managed to find a lot of things that I had forgotten about or hadn’t been able to find in ages. I also decided to clean out a lot of my closet and the spillover of it that has been all over my bedroom floor for ages. Between that and laundry, a large chunk of my day was dedicated to cleaning. That is an extremely unusual thing for me to say, but in a lot of ways I feel like all of this cleaning may be my own subconscious symbolization of a kind of new beginning. As I have discussed quite a bit recently, I feel as if I had allowed myself to become discouraged and kind of down for a while. I have managed to pretty well overcome that recently, though, and I think in a lot of ways all of the cleaning I am doing right now is my own way of symbolizing that. Whatever the reason, it is definitely a good thing to get my surroundings a little more clean and organized. I am not a follower of feng shui or anything along those lines, but I have always believed that the way you keep your surroundings is in direct correlation to the way you feel in those surroundings. This is why, for years now, I always make it a point to have pink sheets on my bed. I feel like your bed should be a place that makes you feel happy and at peace, and for me that means pink. I believe the same is true of any workspace you use, like I mentioned about my bathroom and computer desk in last night’s blog. In fact, on the wall in my bathroom I have this Salvador Dali print called “Metamorphosis Of Narcissus,” which I fell in love with when I found it and which I keep there because I feel like it is a positive reminder to myself. When I first found that painting, I felt very much like that was the place I was in – I was in the process of transitioning from my old, narcissistic self into somebody more mature. I still feel like I am making that transition in a lot of ways, and I like having that painting in my bathroom as a reminder not to allow myself to fall back into those old ego-driven patterns I have fallen into in the past. Like I said, I think it is important to have your surroundings be some sort of reflection of how you feel and, even more, a reflection of how you want to feel in that space. I do the same thing in my cubicle at work on a much smaller scale.

Anyway, after I finished with all of my cleaning in the bedroom I decided to spend a little time in the living room with my Mom. I wanted to be productive with that time as well, though, so I cleared off the dining room table and set up my new fabric paints and such. I used an old plain white t-shirt from Anchor Blue to just experiment with the idea that I had come up with when I initially decided to try hand painting clothing – the Semi Precious Weapons lyric, “I can’t pay my rent but I’m fucking gorgeous.” I was a little nervous about the whole painting concept because I wasn’t sure how well I would be able to do it. I have attempted painting on canvases and such in the past and never really excelled at it. At the same time, though, I never made a REAL effort with that. I never did it with purpose. I just did it to try something different and didn’t really expect anything to come of it. This time was different – I was doing it with the intention of doing something great and creating art. It was just a practice run on the design, of course, but it came out much better than I expected. Sadly, the text came out kind of lopsided, so I can’t actually wear the one I made today but it did serve to show me that the concept will work out really well and that I am capable of working in this medium. It is a pretty simple design, honestly – it is just the quote in cursive, purple paint and covered in glitter. Like I said, aside from the text being lopsided, I really liked the way it came out and fully intend to give this design another try to get it just right. I am thinking of putting it on a white v-neck, though, instead of a crew neck like I did today, though. I think it would look better that way. Aside from that, I am just really into v-necks lately. I just like the look of a v-neck better than a crew neck, and the feel works better for me because I don’t like anything too constricting around the neck. In any sense, I loved working on the t-shirt today and am already brainstorming a few different concepts to try out on t-shirts. I enjoy the creative process of it and am looking forward to working in this way a lot more in the future.

After that, while still waiting for more laundry to finish, I sat down with my Mom and watched Oscar red carpet arrivals. There was some gorgeous fashion walking that red carpet this evening – some personal favorites were Sarah Jessica Parker in Chanel Couture, Gabourey Sidibe in a gorgeous blue dress with a gold floral design (whose designer I sadly cannot remember or find on Google for some reason,) Jennifer Lopez in an iridescent pink gown with a dramatic side accent and train by Marchesa and Miley Cyrus, Kristen Stewart and Zoe Saldana all looked amazing, as well. It seemed like there was a real trend of people wearing gold this evening, as well, most notably would be Sandra Bullock, who all the correspondents kept raving about but which I didn’t feel was as great as everyone was making it out to be. My favorite look, of what I saw, was definitely Sarah Jessica Parker. I have loved her since I was a little kid and have been a huge fan of hers and followed her career over the years. I just find it amazing to see how her style has progressed over the years, particularly with Sex & The City and such. She has really become one of the biggest fashion icons of my generation and I love the fact that she takes the role so seriously and really makes the effort to reflect that in every red carpet appearance and such. She is a major inspiration for me in so many ways. I just adore her.

So, it is nearly 11pm and I still have one load of laundry drying. It should be finishing any moment now. Then I need to get to sleep. I have kind of a big day ahead of me tomorrow. First thing in the morning is another workout, then work and then, FINALLY, my first music lesson. I’m really excited for this, but I am also feeling really nervous about it all. I know that this is what I am meant to be doing with my life and I know that I have the drive, the passion and the talent to pull it off, but I can’t help but feel a little nervous about the whole thing. I just don’t know how it all is going to go down and I don’t know how they are going to want to schedule my lessons moving forward. I don’t know if I am going to mesh well with the teacher, or how comfortable I am going to feel in the environment. I just don’t know how it all is going to go down. What I DO know, though, is that it IS going to happen. I am very excited about it. I am nervous in an excited way. I am very nervous in an excited way about my life right now. It reminds me a bit of a song by one of my favorite artists who nobody has ever heard of, Alexz Johnson, called “Chicago.” There is a line in this song that says, “Won’t be spending tomorrow telling stories – mine has just begun.” That is EXACTLY how I feel in my life right now – I have spent so long telling stories of lives I have lived in the past and such, but I feel like right now it is time for me to stop telling stories and time to start LIVING a whole new one. I am in the process of metamorphosis, like the painting in my bathroom, and I am becoming the artist that I have always dreamed of being. I have lived my entire life dreaming the same dream – now it is time for me to stop dreaming and start making the dream come true. I am extremely excited about this – but like I said, I am also nervous. Nervous in an excited way, though. Everything is going to happen for me exactly as I have always dreamed it would. After all, the Universe is working in my favor. Right now, the Universe is working overtime to make sure that the dreams I have come true – all I have to do is the legwork. Speaking of legwork, if I am going to get a good workout in the morning, I need to go get rested NOW. Goodnight.