Chapter 118: Telephone

Remember how I ended last night’s blog saying how much I hoped that today would wind up better than yesterday was? Remember how I started last night’s blog with that exact same question? Well, I am going to follow the exact same question with the exact same answer – It wasn’t. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I felt horrible Thursday, Friday and most of Saturday last week but really seemed to be better on Sunday. I have no idea why, but I got worse than I originally was come Monday and have only gotten worse since then. It is so bad at this point that not only is my nose all stopped up and I am coughing and sounding ridiculous on the phone, but this evening my right ear started hearing all muffled and fucked up. Basically, I feel terrible right now. I felt pretty horrible when I woke up this morning, too, but I still suffered through another unbearably long day at work. About midway through today, though, I made the decision that if I am still feeling like this when I wake up tomorrow morning I will be calling in sick. I’ve been a complete mess all week, feeling like shit every day and I feel like it has definitely affected my work performance, as well. I find myself feeling extremely irritable on the phone with customers and getting very impatient with all of my co-workers. Plus, as I discussed yesterday, everyone has been telling me how horrible I look, as well, which doesn’t help my mood at all. My sister told me today about a walk-in clinic in town that is open on the weekends and accepts our insurance – she said that if I am not better by Saturday, I need to go down there. She is right, I know – I don’t like the idea of it, but if I am still feeling like this on Saturday, I will definitely go. This is getting a little ridiculous. I know that the cold virus stays in the body for about 3 weeks, but the bad part should be over by now, I would think. It certainly shouldn’t be getting worse at this point, I wouldn’t think. I don’t know… I just know that I feel terrible.

I am not going to write the full blog tonight because I am feeling so awful and need to get to sleep, but there are a few bullet points I wanted to hit. First of all, I did not work out this morning. I woke up late again and was still feeling terrible and my Mom kind of said, “it’s okay to skip a day.” I don’t want to lose momentum and I don’t want to keep making excuses, but at the same time you are often warned about not pushing yourself TOO hard. Plus, as I mentioned, I was feeling terrible. No matter how I feel tomorrow morning, before I make the decision on whether or not I feel well enough to go to work, I am going to workout. I figure how the workout goes will be a good indicator of whether or not I am well enough to go to work. We’ll see how it goes. I do think, though, that starting back up with only 4 days this week is probably a wise move, aside from the sick factor. I don’t want it to be a terrible chore – I want to enjoy it. If I am stressing myself out over missing a day or whatever else, I am going to feel more burdened by it than anything else. Of course, I still kind of feel like this is just my way of rationalizing not doing it today… but a decent point, as well. There is another thing that is really motivating me to stay on the workout wagon right now, as well. My new friend on Facebook, Kelly, has decided to take a stab at the wonderful world of blogging, as well, and she has started a blog about Training to run a 5k and improving her health. You can follow her new blog by clicking HERE, which I highly recommend. She is a very interesting woman and I imagine will have a lot of really interesting insights into the world of diets and exercise. She even told me that she was inspired to start this blog by my workout regime, which is a wonderful feeling and a great responsibility. When you find out that you have been the inspiration for somebody else to make a positive change in their life, you kind of have this feeling that if what you did to inspire them doesn’t pan out it will somehow negatively affect what they are doing. I know this is a silly idea, but it is leaving me feeling much more motivated to continue my workout regime, and so I am going with it. I also find it really interesting, too, that I kind of started this blog after being inspired by my dear friend Nate and his YouTube vlog, and now my blog has inspired somebody else to create something new and take on a great new project in their life – it all comes full circle, you know? Life can be crazy like that sometimes, and I believe that there is hidden meaning in things like this – what those meanings are, I have no idea, but I definitely think they are there. Perhaps they simply serve to show us how we are all connected to one another and have the power to create positive change in others, and in turn create positive change in the world. I don’t know… but I am happy and grateful for it.

Another thing I feel very happy and grateful for is Lady Gaga, who today went from being the first artist in history to have her first five consecutive singles go number one in America to being the first artist in history to have her first SIX consecutive singles go number one in America!!! Yes, today Lady Gaga’s sixth U.S. single, “Telephone (featuring Beyonce,)” officially went number one!!! This is no small feat for Gaga, especially considering how music just doesn’t sell like it used to nowadays. Another insane feat that Gaga reached the other day is her debut album, “The Fame” being certified Diamond, selling over 10 million copies worldwide. For an artist who has only been in the public eye since the fourth quarter of 2008, that is INSANE. I don’t care what anyone says, I really do believe that Gaga is the return of the REAL DEAL artist with the kind of staying power that the world hasn’t seen since the early days of legends like Madonna and Cher and such. She may not be there yet, but I am certain that one day we will be counting Gaga amongst the world’s greatest divas and icons. She is just one of the most amazing artists of my generation and I am so glad she is here and doing as well as she is. She deserves every last bit of it! Also, I think I have officially made my selection for winner of this season of American Idol – a girl named Katelyn Epperly. Hers was one of the only performances that stood out to me last week and after tonight’s performance, (she did an absolutely stunning rendition of Coldplay’s “The Scientist,”) I am pretty convinced that she is going to be the one to win it all this year. I know it is a little early to be picking a winner, but I picked Jordin Sparks to win at this same stage on her season, and Carrie Underwood in her season, as well. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I have an eye for these things for some reason and I am betting this girl is going to win.

Aside from all that, I spent the day at work feeling miserable and counting down the hours until I got to go home. They are having this silly “contest” at work for people to try to design new logos for the company I work for. I spent a good portion of the day drawing random things for that – I even did one that was Lady Gaga with a hair bow. It was silly, but it passed the time. Okay, it didn’t really pass the time, but it was something to do while the time dragged by. I really don’t want to miss another day of work, but the idea of suffering through a fourth day like the past 3 have been is really a terrible idea to me. I don’t know what I am going to do tomorrow, honestly. I figure, if I can’t hear out of one ear that isn’t a good thing for being on the phone. I have already had a few customers complain about my voice sounding garbled or muffled or something, I really don’t want to add to their complaints by having to ask them to repeat themselves, as well. I suppose we’ll see how I am doing in the morning. I really hope I am just feeling better and can stop worrying about this. I am really keeping my fingers crossed for that outcome. We’ll see, though. For now, it is after midnight and I need to go to sleep.