Chapter 96: He Wasn't

Okay, so I find myself faced with a bit of a dilemma this evening. As I talked about last night, I had to cancel tonight’s music lesson with Eliezer Rivera and I had emailed him to inform him with 24 hours notice. I wasn’t quite prepared for the response I received from him, unfortunately. It was a very passive aggressive email stating that it was fine and he understands that these things happen, but then proceeding to remind me that none of my scheduled times with him are “secure” at this point, because I haven’t paid yet. He went on to advise that if another client wanted those time slots who was ready to pay upfront, he would have to give the time slot to them because they were more “secure.” He even said something along the lines of “I can’t really know that you will come.” My initial reaction to this was to get upset with myself for screwing this up. I wrote back to him saying that I completely understand and that I would go ahead and pre-pay for two weeks worth of lessons when I come for my rescheduled first lesson on Friday. He wrote me back and said, “You can pay whenever you want, but I thought you wanted to see how the first lesson goes before you decide on moving forward?” This struck me as odd for two reasons – first, I never said that and second, it came across as if he was trying to discourage me from moving forward with him. I stewed on this whole thing for a little while and wasn’t sure what to think of any of it. I talked to my sister about it a little bit and she was like, “Maybe you should think about trying to find another piano teacher.” I told my Mom about the situation and she the same thing. They both said that those email messages seem really off-putting and not really the attitude you need from somebody who you are paying to teach you something. I’m not sure what to do. Part of me wants to just email him and cancel altogether. I already have an excuse thought up about how my job has really ramped up recently and I am going to be pulling overtime for probably the rest of the month and will have to cancel indefinitely due to time restraints, (which isn’t entirely untrue, as I will explain later.) I do find myself wondering, though, if this isn’t just an ego-based fearful reaction. Of course, I am bound to be a little nervous about really delving into learning to play piano – what if I’m no good at it? Still, I also think that it may be a better idea to try working with an instructor in a more professional setting where my correspondence with them wouldn’t be as casual as to be done entirely through emails. I did a little research online and found a couple of different places in Sarasota that are actual music schools where I would come to them and work with a certified professional music teacher. Both of the places I am mainly interested in also had one thing that I also found really appealing – aside from just instruments they also offer voice lessons, which is something I have been thinking would be a really good step for me. I want to focus on piano first, but I definitely think I could learn a lot from a vocal instructor, as well. If I can get both of these services in one building, why not do it? There is one place called Sarasota Music Center that is in a really good location for me, geographically and that sounds like a very reputable business that has been operating for quite a long time now. I don’t know. I was just really put off by his emails. I’m not 100% sure of what I am going to do just yet, but at least I know that there are other options out there – options that seem considerably more reputable and professional.

So, work was pretty damn annoying today if I am being honest. When I got there, I signed into the Maryland line and was there for about 45 minutes without a single call. As it turned out, Maryland was back in the office and taking calls this morning. That was a good thing, except it seemed unclear then whether or not we would wind up being able to stay until 8pm. It was made clear fairly early, though, that they were not staying the entire day. It was about 4pm when they left the office and we had to take over their calls. Unfortunately, I had to stay on the Sarasota lines until 6pm when our office normally closes. I was kind of irritated all day that I wasn’t on the Maryland lines. They were so easy and yesterday passed so much quicker and easier when I was taking their messages. It was okay, though, and I got through the day just fine. By the time 6pm came, though, I was totally ready to get off of our lines and stop having to do actual work. The last two hours of the day were spent just hanging out with my co-workers. My sister was asking me to kind of help control the volume of my co-workers because they were all being very loud. Of course, I was having my share of loud moments, as well, but we won’t mention that part. I don’t know why, but I am always kind of excited when I get asked to assist with keeping my fellow agents under control. I think it’s some deep-seeded need for approval combined with a fairly evident need for control. Either way, though, I enjoyed it. My sister also told me before we left that Maryland would not be opening tomorrow and I would likely wind up spending all day tomorrow taking their calls. I was very pleased with this news because taking their calls right now has been a very nice change from our usual work. Our program manager also told me this morning that it is pretty likely that we will be offering overtime Thursday and Friday, as well, from 8am-8pm, but that isn’t entirely certain as of yet. Initially, I figured I would be fine with doing it again Friday and working 8am-6pm on Thursday so I could still make my lesson with Eliezer on Thursday night. The program manager also told me that it seems pretty likely at this point that we will be offering overtime for the rest of this month. The rest of the month will likely not be 8am-8pm, but we could work 8am-6pm, taking our own calls and getting our service levels back up from the mess they have become thanks to this whole Maryland debacle. If I work the rest of the month from 8am-6pm I would get 10 hours of overtime each week. That’s nearly an extra $300 on a paycheck and that is definitely worth working a little extra each day for. Basically, my next couple paychecks are going to be $800-900, as opposed to $600something. That will make a very big difference for me and I am extremely grateful that this is all happening. Thank you, Universe, for sending severe snowstorms to Maryland! That sounds terrible. I also found out today that I took one break too many yesterday. I wasn’t penalized for it or anything, but I do need to rethink my break schedule. I asked my sister about how many breaks to take for a 12-hour shift on Friday and she said take one every two hours. That equated to 4 breaks and one lunch. Apparently I was only supposed to get 3 breaks and a lunch. Luckily, I have managed to rethink my every two hour schedule to spread a bit in a way that allows me to take my lunch break at the same time my Mom does. That is a very good thing because we aren’t getting to spend much time together with all of this overtime and taking lunches together would help that. Also, that will be helpful because taking lunch with my Mom I will be able to come home or drive through somewhere and actually eat something during the day. I have been eating bars during the day, but I have been feeling like eating an actual meal would be a good thing for these 12-hour days. So, that has actually worked out really well for me, as well.

When I got home this evening I found a package in our mailbox. It was just one of those small shipping envelopes that are padded. I knew immediately what it was and excitedly ripped it open! Yes, this was my 4GB memory stick for my Sony Bloggie! It was amazing sticking that little thing inside of it and watching the amount of video it could take change from 0:01:32 to 1:32:48 and the amount of remaining photo space go from 19 to 2,249. I didn’t think about it before, but 4GB is really a LOT of space. I had almost considered buying a 8GB memory stick instead, because 4GB didn’t seem like enough. I didn’t realize exactly how much of a difference 4GB would make. I am really excited to experiment with the camera even more now. I came up with a really interesting idea for a photoset I would like to try working on moving forward, all to do with different types of reflections. I was kind of thinking about the fact that we see our own reflections so many different times throughout the day in so many different places and how that kind of runs parallel to the many different ways that we see ourselves. I don’t know how to articulate that fully, but I think it makes a really cool idea for a photographic project. I also want to start experimenting with video, as well, but I’m not entirely sure of what I want to do with that exactly. I’m having a little trouble figuring out what exactly what I want to do video-wise, aside from capturing footage for the short film/long-form music video. I’m thinking that this weekend when my Mom and I go down to Fort Meyers for my brother’s girlfriend’s housewarming party I will try to film some random stuff that comes up that day. Maybe I will work on some photography that day, as well. May as well utilize the pleasure time for a little artistic work, as well. That’s just as pleasurable. I’m pretty excited to get out of town this weekend, honestly. I think a temporary change of setting would be a really good source of inspiration for me. Besides, as much as I may bitch about it every now and then, Florida really does have some gorgeous areas and I’m sure I could find some really awesome inspiration traveling through it.

So, throughout the course of writing this blog I have also done some further research on the internet about piano lessons and found a lot of different people and schools here in town that offer piano lessons. After being so put off by his attitude in the emails, I did go ahead and write to Eliezer Rivera and cancel lessons with him indefinitely. While it could possibly have stemmed from an ego-based reaction of fear, I also feel like it would be silly of me to move further into a situation that is proving itself to be negative before it has even started. I don’t know. I will spend Sunday or Monday evening, when I should be off at 6pm, calling around to other places to find out rates and hours and such and try to get another lesson scheduled for some time in the near future. I am definitely NOT giving up on learning to play, but I am seeking out a more structured and professional situation in which to learn. I’m afraid I may wind up paying more than I would have with Eliezer, but it makes sense and will surely be worth it. I think I kind of idealized this guy a bit and it really sucks to find out, in the words of Avril Lavigne, “He wasn’t what I wanted, what I thought.” It’s okay, though, because I know that the Universe will lead me to the lessons that are absolutely perfect for me. I don’t really need to say it again, but I will: The Universe is working in my favor, and I am eternally grateful to it and for it. I put all of my faith in the fact that it is guiding me to exactly where I need to go. It is after midnight now, though, and where I need to go is bed. I have to be up in 6.5 hours for another fun-filled day of overtime.