Chapter 92: Hungover

Today was a little crazy. As I mentioned in last night's blog, I agreed to work from 8am-8pm today and regretted that decision pretty much immediately. It's been an extremely long day and I am exhausted. Thank God it's the weekend now, though. Still, it was a hell of a way to end the week. I woke up this morning just before 7am, despite my alarm going off at 6:30am. I got up and had to rush around to get ready and, as it turned out, my co-worker showed up even earlier than the planned 7:45am, (which is earlier than I would have wound up leaving had my Mom taken me.) I wasn't entirely ready when she got here and had to throw my last minute stuff together quickly. Fortunately, once I did get out to her car she had a white chocolate cappuccino waiting for me and that was a really big help. Still, when I arrived to work I spent a good few hours feeling very out of sorts. Fortunately, the weather in Maryland was a little less than expected and they were in the office, but they were planning to close early, between noon and one, and then we would have to take over for them. We were pretty slow at first and I was finding myself wanting to fall asleep frequently. Seriously, I went in at 8am and by 2pm, when I took my lunch and was officially halfway through the shift it felt like I had been there twelve hours already. The Maryland office also still hadn't left their office at that point. I was beginning to hope everything would be fine up there and there wouldn't be a need for us to stay until 8pm. Unfortunately, this was not the case and around 4pm they sent their lines over to us. I don't know why I was expecting it to be like it was last year, but when we signed in to their lines it really wasn't busy at all. Of course, when we switched over to their lines our lines decided to explode. They asked me to switch back over to our line and I took quite a few calls there between 4:30pm and 5pm. Then, all hell broke loose for me.

At 5pm, I picked up a call for a commercial account that was royally fucked up. I can't really explain how fucked up it was because it would take a whole lot of explanation of the way my job works that I don't care to do right now because I am exhausted and don't want to think about it in that much detail at this point in the night. I will say, though, that I was on this call for an hour and five minutes and during this call I had to call the utility company in Georgia twice, schedule a turn off for an account, call another customer and enroll an account for them, explain all kinds of billing issues that aren't part of my job, take a payment on an account, etc., etc., etc. The funniest part, though, was that the two customers I had to deal with in this call were owners of daycare centers and they both talked shit about each other to me when the other got off the line. It was pretty hilarious, despite the fact that I was freaking out about how long this stupid call was taking. It was especially bad because I was presented initially with one way that this call was fucked up initially, but the further I went in the call I just kept finding worse and worse issues with the accounts and I seriously thought I was never going to finish the stupid thing. Fortunately, I did right around 6:05pm and then went and took the first break I had gotten in 4 hours. Speaking of breaks, though, on my lunch break I ran into that guy I mentioned in a previous post, (the one who I thought may have been a female-to-male tranny.) I happened to be sitting by somebody that he knew and he came over to talk to them. He kept looking at me. Not in a good way. I don't really know how to describe the way that he was looking at me, but I didn't like it. Seeing him at such close range I was able to determine once and for all, though, that he is just a guy. Not only is he just a guy, he's not even a particularly attractive guy. I guess his allure left right along with the idea that he may not have been born with a penis. I hate it when that happens!

After my break at 6:05pm, I went back upstairs and spent the rest of the evening on the Maryland line. I don't know why I was so paranoid about it considering it wound up being the least annoying part of the day. There were only five of us there taking their calls and we were going 15-20 minutes between calls. One of our program managers decided to come out and hang out with us, which was definitely awkward at first but wound up being kind of okay. The funny thing about this is that this woman absolutely hates me. Well, she hated me when I worked there before and has been nothing but civil to me since I came back. Still, I can't help but feel that she has been waiting for me to screw something up and giving her a reason to completely turn on me. It's pretty funny, too, considering she and I have a lot of the same interests and beliefs in life. She was at the Yehuda Berg signing I went to a couple months ago and is a pretty fervent follower of Kabbalah. In fact, tonight I found out that we have something else in common: A love for Lady Gaga. That kind of weirded me out. It was okay with her sitting there talking with us agents, but I was definitely more comfortable once she was gone. The rest of the night was spent just shooting the shit and joking around with the other four agents working and my sister, who also wound up stuck there until 8pm. Those last two hours of the shift were actually slightly fun. Still, I surely would have preferred to have been doing something at home with that time instead. I'm glad I stayed, though, because I earned about an extra $50. That's enough to pay for my third week of music lessons with Eliezer Rivera.

Yes, I have finally got my first lesson officially scheduled for Tuesday, February 9th between 7pm-8pm. He has confirmed that date with me and given me the directions to the studio now and everything. He also asked me about the dates I want to schedule for the second lesson next week and the following week's lessons. I thought about it a little bit and decided to go with Tuesdays and Thursdays, 7pm-8pm. Hopefully that will work out for him for the next few weeks, as well. I am extremely excited to get started on this. Of all the "artistic endeavors" I am pursuing right now, this is definitely the biggest, most important one. Music is, after all, what I have been working towards and dreaming of for my entire life. I am ready to really dive into it and learn to write music for myself so I can finally pursue it the way I have always dreamed of. It is going to be absolutely perfect and I know this because I will not allow it to be anything less. This is too big of a deal for me to let it not pan out exactly as I have dreamed of since I was just a child. I am so close to it now. Nothing is going to stand in my way at this point. The Universe is working in my favor and will continue to do so. I am eternally grateful for this fact and will do everything I can to make sure it continues and to give back in any way I can. I am ready to get this shit started!

After work, I was a mess. I was so exhausted and extremely irritable and wound up getting really snippy with my Mother while she was driving me to get my check cashed, etc. I feel really bad about that. We have talked since and everything is fine, but I do feel really bad for being so bitchy with her right before she headed out of town for the weekend. When I got home I caught up on a little bit of TV watching from the past week and had a nutritious dinner of Chef Boyardee canned Lasagna and leftover Red Baron pizza from last night. Not the best dinner ever, but good enough to get the job done. Then I decided to experiment with the camera a little bit. Like I said, I was in kind of a fowl mood, I was exhausted and I just felt like a mess on the inside. I wanted to come up with a way to capture that feeling visually and I came up with a few different ideas. Let's have a look at a few photos.







That last one is my favorite. I feel like that image really captures how I am feeling right now. It's kind of a lot of different, opposing emotions all rolled into one. I love the look of that photo. THAT is the type of thing I want to do, as far as photography goes. I feel like the best photographs aren't necessarily the ones capturing a moment but the ones that really capture the emotion of the moment, and I feel like that is what this one does. I was being a little experimental with makeup while doing these, as well, (as I'm sure you can probably tell,) and think they came out kind of interesting because of that. Since receiving my Sony Bloggie in the mail, I have kind of been keeping an eye out for things that I could photograph and capture the beauty of on camera, but I think I am slowly beginning to realize that capturing the beauty of THINGS is not something I am really able to do at this point. I think I am more interested in, and in tune with, capturing the beauty of people. I mean, maybe it's just myself. I haven't actually tried photographing anybody else yet. Still, i feel like capturing the beauty and emotion of a person is more my interesting in photography than capturing any sort of still life or nature or anything along those lines. It is definitely something I am enjoying experimenting with, though. We'll see where it goes. I have a few ideas for perhaps "mini-projects" that I would like to do with photography, but we'll see.

In any sense, it is now 2:37am and I am feeling pretty worn down. I think I may have made plans to hang out with my friend Rachel tomorrow, which would be a really good thing. I haven't seen her in a while and I miss her. It should be a good time, I'm sure. It generally is with Rachel. Aside from that, my only plans this weekend are doing laundry and watching movies. This sounds like a pretty perfect weekend, as far as I am concerned. I also have decided that I should try to work out both Saturday and Sunday because I only wound up doing it one day this past week. Next week will be better and I will have no problem getting back on track with that. For now, though, it is definitely time for bed.