Chapter 87: Glitter In The Air

Okay, so tonight I actually kind of have a LOT to say and, of course, it would wind up being on the one night where I am starting at 11:45pm and need to get to bed. Let’s begin by discussing the reason why I am starting so late tonight: The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards. Grammy night started on a high note for me, with the pre-show announcement of some of the awards handed out before the live telecast, two of which went to Lady Gaga, (Best Dance Recording for “Poker Face” and Best Electronic/Dance Album for “The Fame.”) Lady Gaga arrived in a very large white dress, supposedly by Armani, with bright yellow hair and carrying a giant snowflake looking thing. She opened the show with an absolutely incredible performance, opening with “Poker Face,” then being dragged off by dancers and thrown into a giant vat marked REJECTED, and resurfacing through the lower level of the stage covered in dust and at a huge double-sided piano, playing “Speechless.” On the other side of that piano, playing along with her? Sir Elton John. They played a duet version of “Speechless” and kind of segued in and out of a duet version of “Your Song.” It was absolutely breathtaking and I can imagine an extremely proud moment for Gaga. It was gorgeous. First award of the telecast was one of the 4 major categories, which is extremely unusual for the Grammy Awards. They started off the evening with Song of the Year, the songwriter’s award. My prediction from two days ago was that “Single Ladies” by Beyonce would take this one, and it turned out I was correct. Like I said then, I really can’t begrudge it that. I do think it is kind of a sloppily written song, lyrically, but the chord progression and musical landscape of the song are very impressive. I get it, anyway. Gaga was up for 3 of the 4 major categories, and this was strike one. The performances of the evening were pretty incredible, honestly. Beyonce did an amazing version of “If I Were A Boy,” which I really thought, of any of her songs, should be the one receiving awards. It seemed, at first, like just a normal live performance of the song, but in the middle it made a really surprising segue into a cover of “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette. It was really a great performance. There was also a really amazing performance by Green Day, along with the cast of their new Broadway musical, “American Idiot.” They did a really beautiful version of “21 Guns,” that almost had me in tears. There was a 3D tribute to Michael Jackson with Celine Dion, Carrie Underwood, Usher, Smokey Robinson, Jennifer Hudson and vocals by Michael himself that was very moving. They even had two of his children come out and accept an award for him. It was really beautiful. Another favorite performance of mine was definitely Taylor Swift. She started off simply playing her newest single, “Today Was A Fairytale,” from her movie, “Valentine’s Day.” After a verse of that song, she says, “It really is a fairytale for me to share the stage with STEVIE NICKS!” Out walks Stevie Nicks, in all of her Stevie Nicks glory and they duet on both “Rhiannon” and Taylor’s “You Belong With Me.” My favorite performance of the evening, though, was surprisingly NOT Gaga. There was one artist that did something so beautiful, so insane and so completely brilliant that I just had to give it up to them. Pink came out in a white dress, giving one of the best live vocals I have ever heard from her to the song “Glitter In The Air,” and walked out into the middle of the crowd. There she stripped off that dress to reveal a sheer bodysuit with glitter and sparkles covering all the parts that can’t be shown on TV and was hoisted into the air wrapped in a large piece of fabric which she sang the rest of the song on, still giving this stunning vocal performance while performing various acrobatics on and even being dipped into water at one point. It was similar to her VMA performance of “Sober,” but it seemed so much more fitting with this song and was done in a very different, less showy and more beautiful way this time. It was really awe-inspiring. I tweeted or Facebook updated or something saying, “Every now and then I forget that Pink is an ARTIST amongst artists. Thank God for performances like this to remind me.” It’s so true. Pink has long been one of my all-time favorite artists, and is a huge inspiration to me as a songwriter. She is one of those artists that I mentioned the other day who are just completely open and honest in their music, like Gwen Stefani or Christina Aguilera. I have so much respect for that and try my hardest to write that way, as well. Still, I feel like I think so much about her as a songwriter that I forget that she also puts on an incredible performance. Tonight’s performance was a perfect reminder of that. She is pure talent, she is. I adore her.

Something I don’t adore? The fact that I sat there and watched them present Record of the Year to Kings of Leon for “Use Somebody.” What was my prediction from the post the other night? Either “Use Somebody” or “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas. I was leaning more towards “I Gotta Feeling,” honestly, but am not surprised with the Kings of Leon win. The show was absolutely amazing in the first two hours, but got REALLY slow in the last 90 minutes. I was having a lot of trouble holding out for Album of the Year. I was also getting really nervous for the Album of the Year category after seeing Gaga only win in the non-televised, non-mainstream categories. Beyonce was winning every five seconds. Taylor Swift also won quite a few pre-show awards, as well as one during the earlier portion of the show. Even the Black Eyed Peas had already won 4 awards. Still, I was holding onto hope that the Grammy Academy would give Gaga what she so rightfully deserved. Album of the Year, I really felt, was HER award to win. It felt like a very long time before it got to that category and there was an extremely long commercial leading up to it; A little too long, in fact. I knew there was something weird about it. Apparently, my local CBS affiliate had some sort of mishap and a commercial abruptly ended in the middle and cut to Taylor Swift arriving at the podium to accept her Album of the Year award. My prediction was that it was between Taylor Swift’s “Fearless” and Gaga’s “The Fame.” I also said that Taylor would be the only acceptable aside from Gaga and, while I was a little disappointed, I was very happy for her. It was definitely a well-deserved win. “Fearless” is an incredible album and Taylor is an incredible artist. 2009 was really her year, and I am glad to see 2010 starting off just as well for her. I love her… but I do still think Gaga should have won. It really is kind of a statement on the part of the Grammy Academy, though, that they would nominate her in all of the major categories, but not give her any actual awards in those categories. It really reminded me of the treatment Madonna received from them for YEARS, until 1998 when she released “Ray Of Light.” It just seems like the Academy refuses to accept dance music as a mainstream style of music. It is really a shame, too, because there are some truly incredible artists out there making very unique, interesting, brilliant dance music. It sucks, but I figure that just means Gaga will have to come up with something even better. In fact, she already did with “The Fame Monster,” which wasn’t released in time for Grammy consideration this year. I’m willing to bet it will be nominated just as much as “The Fame” was this year, and hopefully it will fare better. Either way, though, Gaga is one of the most incredible artists of my generation and I can’t wait to see what else she comes up with in the coming year.

Aside from the Grammy Awards, today was a pretty uneventful day while being kind of an eventful day at the same time. I didn’t leave the house at all today. I spent the morning doing laundry and catching up on episodes of “Chelsea Lately” from the past week. Much of the day was spent on Facebook, discussing various topics with this woman who I don’t think I actually know. I had noticed her commenting on my friend Nate’s posts before but didn’t recognize her or her name ever. One day, I signed on and found a friend request from her. I didn’t know what to make of it, but I assumed she had probably seen me in some of his YouTube videos or something and wanted to say hello. Didn’t really think much of it at the time, but she has wound up being this really cool, interesting person and has commented on a lot of my posts; she hasn’t just commented but she has made really interesting, insightful comments. I kind of made her my company for the day, commenting back and forth about different random topics for the day. The main topic of these conversations was the Focus On The Family anti-abortion Super Bowl ad. For those unfamiliar with this story, essentially the Super Bowl has generally had an anti-advocacy stance and wouldn’t air ads showing advocacy for either liberal or conservative viewpoints but for some reason this year, with the Super Bowl airing on CBS, they have accepted an ad from the fundamentalist group Focus On The Family showing a woman considering abortion, but ultimately not doing it only for her baby to wind up growing up to be Heisman Trophy winning football star Tim Tebow. CBS also rejected an ad from a gay dating site called Man Crunch, featuring two men watching the Super Bowl whose hands touch while reaching for chips and they feel an attraction and wind up making out on the couch while their other football loving friend sits by looking uncomfortable. It’s a really cute, funny ad. CBS is showing a clear bias in this situation, and I find it absolutely despicable. There is a petition going around to stop them from airing the anti-abortion ad, (Credoaction petition,) I urge you all to sign. It is just wrong what they are doing – absolute hypocrisy that they need to be called out on!

Something else happened today that is a very long story, but one I am going to share here. I randomly signed on to Myspace today, for reasons that I don’t really recall at this point, and found that one of my friends on there was gone. It wasn’t just any friend, though. This is where the long story comes into play. Nearly three years ago, back when Myspace was the primary social-networking site out there, I used to keep a blog running on there. It was written very differently than this one is, but was kind of in the same vein, except without any real goal for it aside from just getting out the things I needed to get out. That blog got a lot of readers for some reason, and Myspace actually showed you how many people read your blog, etc., which blogger does not. I have absolutely no idea how many people read this blog, to be perfectly honest, aside from the number of clicks on my tighturl links that I use to minimize the daily links I post on Twitter. I honestly doubt that Twitter makes up the bulk of the readers on this blog, so who knows? That isn’t the point here, though. Almost three years ago, June 27th, 2007 to be exact, I received a message on Myspace from a guy also named Jason, a couple years older than I am and also living here in Sarasota. This message only had two lines – it read, and I quote, “You inspire me. Thank you.” I wasn’t entirely sure of what to make of it, considering it was from a complete stranger who had never been in any sort of contact with me before, at least not that I was aware of. I replied to this message saying thank you, that it really meant a lot to me to hear that and a little bit about how I feel like people in this world don’t share their feelings enough. I still believe this to be true – when we are inspired by somebody else, when we think somebody else looks nice, when we feel respect or love or admiration for somebody, we have this tendency to keep those things inside. I don’t understand that. We are so quick to air our daily gripes and the things we dislike about people, yet we feel uncomfortable sharing our positive feelings about the people around us. It’s a shame. Anyway, I said a little something about that and thanked him for the message. He responded saying that some people in life are born to inspire and it is their calling, as well as talking about how great a power it is to be able to create change in the minds of other people. He also said something that really got to me in a very big way. He said, “You know inspiration is one of the greatest gifts. It can pick someone up from absolute bottom. It can save a life… and you have that power. I bow my hat to you for you are a Muse.” I have spent a lot of time since then thinking about that message and what exactly would have inspired him to send it. I also responded to this message thanking him again and saying that I wanted to add him as a friend, which I did and he accepted. I looked over his page and read some really amazing poetry he had posted in his blog there, and looked through his pictures which only included one of his face and the rest were these really striking images he had presumably photographed. I found the whole thing very intriguing and wanted to learn more about him. I just had this really overwhelming feeling that there was more I was meant to learn from him, or maybe something I was supposed to give him. I don’t know exactly, but there was definitely something more there that I felt the need to further pursue. He never messaged me again, though. There have been a few times since then that I have written to him and never received a response at all. I kept trying, though, at various times when this whole situation came to mind. Today, however, I found that he had removed me from his friends. I checked to see if he had deleted his page, which he hadn’t. He had simply deleted me from his friends. I can’t blame him, honestly. I haven’t used Myspace regularly in well over a year. Still, I was kind of upset about the fact that he had removed me – not because I felt slighted or anything, but because I felt that I had lost my connection to him. I went to his page and found the company he worked for. With that information I did a little sleuth work, (I am very good at digging up information on the internet,) and found him on Facebook. I sent him a friend request this afternoon. It is still awaiting confirmation. I don’t know what will come of this, but I just feel the need to still have some brief semblance of a connection to him. Let me say, though, that I don’t feel like we are supposed to be together or like there is any sort of romantic connection there. I just feel like we are supposed to be getting something from one another. There is SOMETHING there that needs to be explored. I have no idea what it is, but it is SOMETHING. I don’t know. Maybe it was just meant to be nothing more than what it was, but I just don’t feel that way. Even if nothing ever comes of it, though, I can definitely say that this guy changed my life. Ever since receiving that message from him, it has been kind of a driving force for me in life. I think about what he said in so much of what I do, when writing songs, when drawing, when writing this very blog or when dreaming of all the things I want so badly to do with my life. That message, in a lot of ways, is the reason why I feel so passionate about these things. It is what I have always wanted to do with my life, but I don’t necessarily know that I realized it until I read that message. I always knew I wanted to pursue a career in music, but I don’t know that I ever really realized exactly what I wanted to do as an artist until he messaged me. Whether or not he accepts my Facebook friend request or talks to me or if anything ever comes of the whole situation, I will be eternally grateful to this guy for showing me what I am meant to do with my life. Still, I am reminded of the song that Pink sang at the Grammys tonight, “Glitter In The Air.” She sings, “Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone? Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone? Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry? Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside? It's only half past the point of oblivion, the hourglass on the table, the walk before the run, the breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames, Have you ever felt this way?” Yes, Pink, I do believe I have.

Aside from that, my ride and companion for the Owl City concert on Wednesday, Whitney, has been called into question and I am not sure what will happen. If she isn’t able to go, I’m honestly not sure that I will be able to go. It is really last minute to try to find somebody else to go with. As much as I have been excited about that concert, it may be a better thing not to go and not have to worry about the probability that I will wind up spending more money than I should there. At the same time, though, I do think that show would be a really great inspiration to me. I’m not sure what is going to happen. Whitney said she will know more tomorrow, so I guess I will deal with it once I have a little more of a solid idea of what is going on with her. I figure, that will be the deciding factor. It’s not like I spent a ton of money on the tickets or anything. The only thing that would suck would be missing out on the show. We’ll see, I suppose. Anyway, it is 1:45am now and I desperately need to get to sleep. It is back to work tomorrow. The weekend was too short, but it was very relaxing. Hopefully this week will provide lots of time to finish up the drawings I have been working on so I can get them submitted. I have the drawings themselves finished and the copies made, (which came out better than I expected, honestly,) and now all I have to do is get them colored and sent off to the t-shirt company. I’m really excited to see what comes of this whole thing. I have a pretty good feeling about it. Like I have been saying lately, I have a pretty good feeling about life right now. Like Pink asks, “Have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air? Have you ever looked fear in the face and said ‘I just don’t care?’” Yes, I have, Pink… and here I go again.