Chapter 88: Halo

Before discussing my day, I have made a decision about something very important that will affect every aspect of my life and I feel like I need to share it here. It’s kind of a really big deal and I don’t know if I am going to make it through it alright, honestly. Still, I feel really strongly about it. I feel like I have to try. So, beginning right now, I will no longer… oh, it’s hard to even say. Still, I know it has to be done. It is for the greater good. It is the right thing to do. Beginning right now, I will no longer… OH, I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THIS!!! No… I must! I simply must! Beginning right now, I will no longer be mean about Beyoncé. It’s only right. She is a very talented artist and deserves a good portion of the praise that she receives. Sure, I may not agree with the idea that she is one of “the greatest,” “most exciting,” or “most innovative” entertainers of our generation like I have heard quoted in the media, but she is certainly a very talented artist. I don’t know what it is that makes me feel the need to be so mean about her. I actually really love her music. In fact, her albums have been amongst my favorites for years, all the way back to the Destiny’s Child days. She was also really brilliant in “Dreamgirls,” and, at least, really funny in the Austin Powers movie, “Goldmember.” I think I just lash out at her because people, both fans and the media, try to make it out like she is the second coming of Oprah or something and, while she is a very talented artist, I don’t think all of the hype that surrounds her is necessarily warranted. There is a long list of artists I would put ahead of her in terms of songwriting, (Kelly Clarkson comes to mind,) performance, (Gaga, of course,) vocal ability, (Christina Aguilera, anyone?) and general image and authenticity, (Pink, for example.) Yet, none of these artists receive the type of acclaim that Beyoncé does. I just don’t understand it. I think I just resent the fact that all of these artists are every bit as good as her, (some better, in my opinion,) but don’t get the treatment and exposure that she does by the media. Then there is the whole thing that I discussed a bit the other day, about how her name magically appears in the writing credits of songs that have already been performed by other artists, without any trace of new lyrics or anything altered that she could have done. I find that pretty despicable, although I don’t know the details of that and shouldn’t really judge her for it. So, like I said, from this point on I will no longer be mean about her. She is good. I am actually listening to “I Am Sasha Fierce” right now. It IS a really great album, particularly the “I Am,” portion. I have always felt that Beyoncé is at her best when she is in more of an acoustic-based pop form, like on “Irreplaceable” or “If I Were A Boy,” my two favorite songs of hers. I am also slowly becoming a really big fan of the song “Halo.” Now that I am slowly getting over my competitive, “KELLY CLARKSON DOES IT BETTER” attitude towards the song, I can appreciate it as it’s own song, even if it is extremely similar. Oh, that wasn’t very nice sounding now was it? Okay, beginning NOW I will no longer be mean about Beyoncé. She’s a gift to the world… just not as big a gift as Lady Gaga. Okay, beginning NOW…

So, I woke up this morning at 8am. This week is kind of fucked for working out, which I am kind of upset about but I understand. We didn’t workout Friday morning last week, or this morning because my Mom’s boyfriend has been here and she’s busy with him in the mornings, (not like THAT… at least, I hope not!) This will also be the case tomorrow, and he will be heading home after we leave for work in the morning. Then Wednesday morning I have to go to work at 8am due to my schedule request for the Owl City concert. Speaking of the Owl City concert, I don’t know that I’m going anymore. I’m not sure yet. I can either scramble to try to find somebody to go with, or I can just save the money I would wind up spending on giving somebody gas money to drive, drinks, etc., and buy myself some gorgeous from DKNY. I can’t deny, I really love the idea of new clothes right about now. Especially some of the stuff I found on the DKNY site. Still, I do feel like I may wind up missing out on something very inspirational for me if I don’t go. It just sucks because it is happening the day after tomorrow. That would only leave me one day to figure something out if I do decide to go. If I’m being perfectly honest, I’m kind of over the whole idea at this point. I don’t know, I may change my mind tomorrow. We’ll see, I suppose. Either way, I will figure it out and have something fabulous to take away from it all, whether it be gorgeous DKNY clothes or a gorgeous night of music. As far as my workouts go, I may wind up coming home from work tomorrow evening and doing the workout by myself before my Mom gets off, just to keep myself in the habit of it. I could do the same on Wednesday if I don’t wind up going to the concert. Thursday and Friday we will get back to the normal routine of doing it in the morning. I’ve missed it these past few days, honestly. I miss the feeling of waking up with a goal to work at right off the bat. I also miss the way I can feel it in my body throughout the day at work and such. Plus, I’ve put together all kinds of workout playlists by different artists. One of my favorites just to play, and which I am very anxious to try out, is the Jennifer Lopez one I have worked out. I absolutely love Jennifer Lopez as an artist, and she has a LOT of really great music that just seems to lend itself to working out. In particular, her new single “Louboutins,” has the perfect beat for working out. Plus, it has a walking theme and so does our workout – perfection!

Work was busier today than it has been lately, which kind of sucked because I was really looking forward to getting some of my drawings colored. I managed to get one done, the “Speechless” one, and it came out really well. Unfortunately, I wound up having to kind of go over the lines on the copy with pen to give it a more even look. Still, I really like the way that one came out. I don’t recall if I talked previously about how the eyes on that one seemed kind of off. Well, after working on them a bit with the colors they came out really awesome looking. I really liked the way it worked out and am excited to get the rest of them done. Perhaps if I wind up missing the Owl City concert I can use that evening, since I already have a schedule request in for an early leave that day, to finish up, scan and send out those drawings. That would be a good use of the unexpected free time, I think. Plus, that would kind of make the whole thing feel a little more justified. Instead of spending time being inspired I would be spending time putting my previous inspirations to use. I like that idea. We’ll see what happens, though. I am kind of hoping to get one or two of the other drawings properly colored at work tomorrow, too, which would make getting them scanned and submitted on Wednesday night considerably more feasible. I’m really excited to get these done and submitted. Even if I don’t sell any of the drawings, it will be nice to get a bit of a professional critique on them. My friends and family who have seen them have given plenty of praise, but getting the opinion of somebody who may wind up buying them could give me a really good, objective idea of how I am doing with these things. It’s all really exciting for me and I can’t wait to get this whole project done and see where it may take me.

Today I wound up going to lunch later than I usually do which worked out perfectly because I got to spend my lunch break with my sister’s girlfriend, who I hadn’t really gotten to spend much time with since she has taken on her new account. I also got to take over their leftover lunch stuff, (chorizo and egg burritos, which were delicious!) My meal replacement bar is still sitting in my bag, ready to be eaten tomorrow. I figure there is nothing wrong with eating an actual meal for lunch instead of the bar, particularly when it is only a small meal like I had today. It was just enough to keep me satisfied until I got home from work. When I got home I ate a little strawberry yogurt and a kiwi and a half. Say what you want, but those things make a really good snack. Then for dinner I ate a burrito with beans, rice, cheese and taco meat and some mango salsa, which was delicious. My Mom’s boyfriend actually made some mango salsa, as opposed to the store bought kind, and it was delicious. I was very impressed with that, considering homemade salsa just seems like a lot of hassle when you can just buy it for cheap at the grocery store. It was definitely good, though. I had initially intended to watch “Up In The Air” this evening, but I don’t really know where the time went this evening. I didn’t really do much of anything, and I don’t have much of anything to show for it. I added new Twitter and Facebook extensions to Google Chrome, which is pretty cool but not really any sort of accomplishment. I watched an episode of “Big Brother” Season 5 on YouTube, which is something I hadn’t done in a really long time. I love the show “Big Brother,” but only started watching with Season 9, so between seasons 9, 10 and 11 I have kind of gotten my “Big Brother” fix by watching the previous seasons online. I watched all of seasons 2, 6, 7 and 8 that way, and started season 5 a long time ago, but lost track of it. So, now I am getting back into it. It’s good shit. Still, I only watched half of the episode. I also talked to Whitney via text a little while, which is where I found out that she wouldn’t be able to do the Owl City concert. It sucks, but it’s not that big of a deal. It may actually wind up being a good thing now. We’ll see, though. Who knows? I may still wind up going. I also totally laid a guilt trip on her about trying to hang out this coming weekend because my Mom is going to be out of town at her boyfriend’s house and I don’t want to spend the entire weekend sitting at home alone. Hopefully that guilt trip will work out and I will have some company this weekend. If not, that’s not really a big deal. I will have my camera this weekend, so maybe I can start trying my hand at some photography over the weekend. There are plenty of sights to be seen around my apartment complex and such, as well as random things I could experiment with here in the house. I’m really excited to experiment with different things I can do with the camera, both in the form of still photography and video. Who knows, I may wind up posting some random stuff on YouTube this weekend or something. Okay, so I don’t know about all that just yet… but I’ll definitely have some fun with it.

One last thing, when I woke up this morning my Internet was out. I wasn’t sure exactly why, but I knew it wasn’t one of the bills we’ve had trouble with or anything, it was just randomly out. Unfortunately, here at our apartment complex we were kind of forced to go with some strange group they have for our Internet service and I think they are having some sort of trouble. We’ve had this problem a few times before. It didn’t wind up coming back up before I left for work, but by the time I got home it was fine… until just a few minutes ago. What I am saying is that I may not wind up posting this blog until tomorrow morning. We’ll see, though. It’s not likely that I will be waiting it out tonight, though, because it is 12:30am and I am pretty exhausted. Hopefully it will be back up in the morning and I can post this when I get up. We’ll see, though. For now, I am going to bed.