Chapter 101: I Look So Good

Today was Valentine’s Day. Yes, it’s a Hallmark Holiday and has no real historical significance or anything of that nature, but it is still a holiday and is deserving of it’s own themed blog post, right? No? I completely agree, actually. Today for me had very little to do with Valentine’s Day, so much so that I actually forgot that it actually WAS Valentine’s Day. The significance of today for me is more in the fact that a year ago today I had just found out I was being picked up from my weeklong temporary position at the place that shall not be named for a more long-term temporary position that was to last for about a month and a half. This was particularly significant at the time because I wasn’t just being picked up for a more long-term position after six months of being unemployed, but I was being picked up for this position on the account I had been on last time I was there – an account on which the program manager very nearly prevented me from even getting my initial weeklong temporary position. This led to me overcoming a lot of the issues I had struggled with throughout my life about not being taken seriously and constantly feeling like I had to prove myself to people. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle with it sometimes, but getting this job, and eventually moving into a permanent position there, definitely made a big difference in that struggle. So, at this point, that is the real significance of February 14th for me. Fuck all that Valentine’s Day shit.

I woke up around 11:30am this morning and my Mom was out at church. I text messaged her about an hour later realizing that I was nearly out of cigarettes and didn’t have anything to drink in the house and we mutually decided that we needed to go out for a few different things today. I had also already had plans for needing to go out today to go to Ulta for some eyeshadow primer, body wash and hair wax, which I had recently run out of. When my Mom and I were discussing going out, which we had said we didn’t really want to do last night, we also decided that we both really needed haircuts. I only had about $90 on me and was unsure of whether or not I wanted to pay for a haircut, as well as all the beauty products I needed. After all, as I have recently learned, beauty products are expensive! We decided to go ahead and do it, though, and just go to one of those cheap, quick places to get them done. So, we went to a Great Clips and only paid $13. As is often the case in life, you get what you pay for. Not to say that they aren’t good haircuts, but they are the type of haircuts where nobody is going to notice that you had a haircut. I suppose that is something that a lot of people strive for, but for me it almost feels kind of pointless. However, I did want to keep the same style so I guess it works out fine. We happened to be right next to a TJ Maxx, which my Mom had a gift card for, so we decided to stop. I wasn’t really looking for anything in particular there, but I just happened to find a really delicious Mango/Passion Fruit shower gel there that was only $3.99, as opposed to the $14.99 I was planning to spend on Ulta’s Berrylicious Shower Smoothie. That was helpful and, as is often the case for me, it seemed like a better idea to try switching things up than just going with the same thing I had before. While at TJ Maxx, I happened to notice a small frame checking out action figures that was immediately recognizable to me – it was my dear friend, Devin! I ran over to say hello and he told me that his girlfriend and my good friend, April, was also there. So, I found her and we all had a good little talk while my Mom was finishing up her shopping. It was nice to get a chance to catch up with them a little bit because it seems like I rarely ever see them anymore and it was nice to get an unexpected chance to today.

After leaving there, we went to buy me some cigarettes. I had decided a couple of days ago that when I ran out of my carton of Marlboro Milds, my signature cigarette, I would do something I had always said I wasn’t willing to do – buy off-brand. I always figured off-brand would be okay with food, health and beauty products and other random things, but I would never do it with clothes or cigarettes. However, I am not exactly in a position to pay $50 every 10 days for my signature cigarette and figured I’d rather smoke off-brand cigarettes than have less money for the important things, like clothes… not to mention those silly things like rent and bills and such. So, instead of $50 I paid $30 for a carton of some brand called 305’s. The packaging looks so cheap and trashy, and the cigarettes themselves look really boring and don’t even have the brand name near the filter like most cigarettes do. They just seem really cheap, which I guess makes sense, because they were really cheap. Still, it is well worth having an ugly cigarette pack to save myself $20 every 10 days or so. Plus, the cigarettes aren’t really bad – they’re just not what I’m used to. As I mentioned above, you get what you pay for. After buying cigarettes, we went down to the Ulta on University so I could go shop in there and my Mom had a Target right next door that she could stop in, because she isn’t a fan of Ulta. In Ulta, I found myself drawn to all sorts of different items but knew that I had specific things to pick up and didn’t have the most money in the world to get caught up in all the other stuff there. I found eyeshadow primer with the help of an adorable little guy working there, who even gave me a demonstration on how to use it, even though I didn’t really need it. I also found some hair wax that I think will work perfectly. I was under the $20 mark at this point and was kind of trying to keep it that way. I was doing a really good job of it, too, despite feeling really drawn to a facial cleanser, (which I fully intend to go back and get after I get paid again because my face could definitely use some cleansing.) Of course, once I got up to the register I was pulled in by one of those little impulse items they keep in the line area that I spotted and just had to have. It was an eyeshadow palette by a company called Pop Beauty, full of really awesome pinks, silvers, golds and a really gorgeous brown color that will match a few of my outfits perfectly. It was only $10 and I just had to have it. I still made it out of the store spending on $28, which I consider an achievement.

Of course, that left me with only about $30 to get through the rest of this week, or so I thought in the moment. I am trying to keep that thought in my head, as well, because I also have $100 in my bank account. I am not thinking about that money right now, though, because I don’t want to touch it yet unless it is an emergent issue. I really don’t spend much money during the week, anyway, so I don’t think only having $30 to get through it will be much of an issue. I am also really excited about the fact that this Friday I am getting my overtime paycheck, and should be receiving the extra $100 from the Chase promotion I mentioned before. Basically, I am running into quite a bit of extra money in the next week. That is really exciting, considering how much I have had the opposite problem for the past little while. In some ways, I feel like the Universe is setting me up with all of this extra money for a reason. I have no idea what this reason may be, but I am very grateful for it. Like I mentioned last night, I intend to spend a portion of this money on tickets to see Sheryl Crow at Universal Studios. Aside from that, though, I don’t really have a lot of thoughts on where that money will be going. I think it would probably be best to hang on to at least a portion of it just in case. I also fully intend to hang on to $100 for music lessons, once I figure out where to get these lessons. I initially had $100 set aside from my income tax for music lessons with Eliezer Rivera, so my intention is to keep that $100 set aside until I figure out the right person to teach me so I will have money available immediately for them. This will only account for a portion of the extra money I am getting, though. I know there are a few more items at Ulta I want to purchase, including the aforementioned facial cleanser and some eye makeup remover, (because soap and water just don’t cut it on your face, I don’t think.) I want to figure out a way to improve my skin, and facial cleansing seems like an excellent way to do that, I think.

It is getting close to midnight and I have to be up at 6:30am for another 8am-6pm shift, so I need to cut this short right about now. I talked to my sister this afternoon, though, and I asked her if the plan for overtime for the rest of the month was still in place and she said that she didn’t really think so, but that they were trying to get them approved for the remaining Mondays of the month. It is already approved for tomorrow, considering I am going to be there for 10 hours, so that really only means the following Monday. As much as I was looking forward to about 15 hours of overtime over the next two weeks, I am perfectly fine with that not happening. I will be glad to start going in at 9:30am after tomorrow and getting back to the workout routine with my Mom every morning. Plus, waking up at 7:30am instead of 6:30am will be a definite improvement. Overtime was good while it lasted, but I am kind of glad it is over now. I left last week feeling completely worn down and drained. Fortunately, I wound up having a really good weekend hanging out with my Mom and am feeling pretty refreshed and ready to go back to work. Okay, so maybe I am not entirely ready to go back to work, but it has to happen and at least I can go back looking fabulous with my new makeup and hair products. I also am hoping to go pick up some new clothes next weekend to get started on a spring wardrobe, which I am pretty excited for. We’ll see whether or not that winds up happening, though. For now, though, I am happy to just be wearing one of my plain white Calvin Klein tees, (a fashion essential, as far as I am concerned,) and sweatpants looking runway ready – only if that runway leads straight to bed.