Chapter 104: Like You Do

It’s after midnight and I haven’t even started writing this blog yet. Needless to say, I am going to keep it short this evening. I woke up at 7:09am and decided not to attempt to go back to sleep. I decided to try to eat breakfast before working out in attempts to reserve a little more time after the workout for a lengthier shower. This plan worked out really well for the after workout shower part. The workout itself was a little more than I anticipated. My stomach was feeling kind of strange during the workout and I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have the stomach problems I had yesterday. Fortunately, that was not the case and after the workout I felt perfectly fine. I think it was just too much movement on a full stomach. At the same time, though, that was really a good thing because I was able to work off that breakfast right away. The workout was good, although I felt like it was considerably rougher today than it had been yesterday. Hopefully, this will not be the case tomorrow. Either way, though, I will get through it just fine.

When I got to work I found that all but 3 other people in my department had called out today. This initially seemed like it would cause a bit of drama and being busier than usual. That didn’t really happen, though. It was a very quiet day. I spent most of the day reading, “How To Make Someone Love You Forever In 90 Minutes Or Less.” I really like the tone of this book and it’s focus on understanding yourself in order to understand what you need in another. It discusses this whole concept of trying to find your “Matched Opposite.” Essentially, your Matched Opposite is a person who is similar to you while being very different from you. I like this whole concept because it just makes a lot of sense to me. When we are looking for a relationship we are generally looking for a person who makes up for the things that we lack, or somebody with the qualities that we wish we had. So, essentially, we are looking for somebody different from us. At the same time, though, what bonds us with other people more often than anything else is shared interests. These are the ways that people tend to bond with one another. So, what we need to find is somebody who matches us in some ways, but is our opposite in other ways. We need to find a partner who is similar enough to us to help us feel a bond with them, but different enough to intrigue us and keep our interest. We need a partner who is different in a complimentary way. In order to understand what complements our personalities and what we are lacking and need to find in others, we need to understand our own personalities. When you break it down in a logical way like that, I can get on board with the whole thing. The question for me is – where do I find this Matched Opposite? I haven’t gotten to that part of the book yet, apparently. I have to admit that it is a very interesting read and I feel like I am taking quite a bit from it. We’ll see, though, whether or not I can figure out how to take the tools this book teaches and apply them to my own life.

That was pretty much what I did all day at work. When I came home I was supposed to make dinner, but I didn’t wind up doing it because I was tired and spacing out. So, instead, when my Mom got off work she went to Subway and picked up sandwiches for us. We sat down to watch American Idol, but were interrupted when my Mom wanted to make some bread pudding for her boyfriend’s birthday this weekend and realized that the glass baking dish that is absolutely necessary for making it wound up going home with Whitney last time they were over because it had brownies in it. My Mom kind of freaked out over this and things got a little dramatic for a minute. I called Whitney and she said that she would have Nate bring it by tomorrow evening when he is in this direction on his way to work. Nothing major. It did wind up being a good excuse to talk to Whitney a bit, which we hadn’t really done in a few weeks. It was kind of weird and awkward at first, which I absolutely hated because Whitney and I don’t have one of those relationships where things get awkward ever. I got a little upset because she told me about a pretty major, life-altering experience she had like a week ago and this was the first I was hearing about it. It was silly of me to get upset about it, but I had just assumed that this was the type of thing that I would get a special call about. Guess not. It’s not actually a big deal, but my immediate reaction was to be a little hurt and a little offended. That sentence said it all, though – my “immediate reaction.” I did my best to resist that immediate reaction, though, and just move forward with the conversation. It was good talking to her and we are planning to hang out this weekend, which will be nice. I need a little Whitney time, I think, and it has been severely lacking lately.

For now, though, what I need is to go to bed. Workout again in the morning and Rachel is coming over to hang out tomorrow night. That’ll be fun. Hanging out with Rachel is always pretty fun and I am trying to do it more often nowadays. I have been thinking about it and, honestly, hanging out with Rachel makes me feel good about myself. That is exactly what your friendships are supposed to do, so I need to cultivate the relationships I have that do that for me instead of making me feel questionable and insecure about where I stand with people. I don’t know, I’m tired right now. I am listening to Angel Taylor again as I write this blog, and feeling particularly attached to her song “Like You Do.” The chorus says, “You’re playing it cool, I know what you do, I feel like I fool but I would be feeling it anyway, cause nobody loves me, You’re messing around, I figured you out, you’re taking me down but I would be feeling it anyway, cause nobody loves me… like you do.” I love the sentiment expressed in that chorus. That is the type of feeling I am looking for right now. That is the type of love I need, I think. In any sense, it is about time for me to get to sleep. One last thing, though, I used my new bank account today to set up an Ebay and PayPal account and have already made my first purchase. What did I purchase? A GORGEOUS John Galliano t-shirt. I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but it’s lavender purple and has these really amazing images in really bright, vibrant colors all over it. It is absolutely gorgeous and very unique. I am excited for it to arrive! I also spotted a Roberto Cavalli shirt in my size on there, as well, that is kind of similarly themed with the bright colors and also has a bright purple centerpiece to it. I am thinking of getting that one, as well, but I don’t want to get crazy with my money just yet. We’ll see. Either way, it is pretty exciting to be able to shop online again. Alright, now it is definitely time for bed. Goodnight.