Chapter 246: Girls Girls Girls

Okay, I know that it has become a bit of a tradition that on Friday night I do a video blog. Tonight, however, I didn’t feel like it. To be honest, I didn’t really feel like doing a written blog, either, but I figured this could wind up being quicker in the long run, because the editing/uploading process for those videos has come to take an extremely long time. Actually, the editing is really quick and easy, and is my favorite part of the whole video blogging process. The issue is all the waiting involved. You have to film the video, then wait for it to transfer to the computer, then convert it to a file format that Windows Movie Maker can edit, then load it in Windows Movie Maker, (which actually takes a good 30 minutes for a full-length video,) then edit it and save your newly edited version to the computer, (which can also be around a 30 minute wait,) then upload the video to You Tube, (which, again, takes about 30 minutes.) With all of that process, doing a video blog actually takes 2-2.5 hours. Writing the blog CAN be a lot quicker than that, depending on how focused I am while writing it. Now that I have decided to be more open to the idea of the blog not filling four pages in Microsoft Word, (which is what it used to always strive to be,) it can be done in a much more manageable period of time. So, considering the fact that it is after 2am already, I figured I would try my best to make this quick and skip the video blog for today. I have mentioned before possibly moving my video blogs to Monday nights, which I think could work out a lot better for me at this point. We’ll see how that goes, though. I am already kind of thinking about doing a video blog tomorrow night, so we’ll see. Tomorrow should be a pretty fun day for a video blog, I think – more on that later.

Today was a pretty decent day. I woke up on time. I did my morning skin care routine. I ate oatmeal for breakfast. I drank coffee. I smoked cigarettes. I shopped online. Correction – I window-shopped online. I didn’t actually buy anything. The online window-shopping actually began last night. You see, I still had over $100 in the bank that I had been saving from my last paycheck to pay for this month’s piano lessons. So, since piano lessons for the month were covered and I would wind up having some extra money after paying my rent, I decided that I could afford to do a little shopping this weekend. As much as I love the whole process of going out and shopping in the store, I was also really anxious to get started on the shopping. I went through various websites, including the MAC site, the NYX Cosmetics site, the Stila site, etc., looking for things that really popped out at me and screamed “BUY ME.” Unlike that period a while back when I was shopping for clothes and couldn’t seem to find anything I liked, I had the opposite problem today. I found about a million things that I wanted. The thing is, as I went through each website and loaded up my virtual cart, I kept finding myself thinking about going out to shop this weekend. I thought about “Confessions Of A Shopaholic” and that rush of joy you get as you run your card through the machine and know that all of this stuff is coming home with you in just moments. I love that feeling. Also, I don’t want to order myself pre-birthday gifts, which are what I decided I was shopping for, and possibly not have them arrive in time for my birthday. You see, I am looking for makeup to wear on my birthday. I am looking for the makeup I need to complete the perfect birthday party look.

I recently decided that I would just be having a small birthday party, with only my closest friends and family in attendance, and that I would not be decorating the house or anything for that. After all, the only people who will be coming are all people who have seen the house plenty and know what it looks like normally – why decorate for them? I also thought of possibly not doing a special, over-the-top makeup look for my birthday for the same reason but I came to the conclusion that the crazy makeup look wasn’t really to impress other people, anyway. That is all about making me feel happy and special on my birthday. So, I am definitely doing that still. Plus, I am really anxious to see how well I can pull off doing the makeup look I have decided upon for my birthday. I have done trial runs of it and the last one came out really well, so I am excited to give it another shot. It just needs a few very minor tweaks at this point – tweaks that I will need a couple other products for in order to get it exactly how I want it. So, tomorrow my Mom and I are going to go do some shopping after she gets off work. It seems like, over the past few days, my email inbox has been kind of inundated with ads for different things that I really want, or am at least really curious about. The main stop for me on this shopping trip will be Ulta, of course, and there are just a few little things I need to grab while I am there. However, I think I have decided on one “big ticket” item that I want to buy for myself, just to splurge and treat myself to a little something extra for my birthday. The thing is, I am already aware beforehand that I shouldn’t expect much out of the people I know for my birthday this year. Everybody is in some sort of financial dire straits and I don’t expect anything major out of anybody. So, with that in mind, I don’t see anything wrong with going out and spending $40 on something special for myself. What would that something special be? Why, it is the Urban Decay Eye Shadow Ammo Box, which includes 10 shades of eye shadow and comes with a full-sized bottle of Urban Decay Primer Potion in their newest formula, Eden, which would cost just under half the price of this set on it’s own. It’s a really good deal that they have going on this thing and since I have a little bit of extra money I don’t see the harm in a little splurge. We’ll see once I actually go to the store, because I could easily change my mind in the moment, but I am definitely thinking I will pick this thing up.

Aside from shopping, I don’t really have any plans for this weekend. I will probably spend the first part of tomorrow, while my Mom is at work, watching some movies on Netflix or something random like that. The movie “Nine” should be arriving in the mail from Netflix in today’s mail, so I will probably watch that with my Mom sometime over this weekend. I also want to see if I can track down some place carrying the DVD of the movie “Timer,” because I want my Mom to see it and I want to have it for myself. Unfortunately, in my research online it’s not only not available on DVD in any local stores but it’s not available in stores anywhere. It can be ordered online but that’s it. So, I think I may go ahead and order it, although that sucks because I was hoping to watch it this weekend. Perhaps I will just watch it again on Netflix by myself, just for the hell of it. I am also really thinking about trying to save up a couple hundred bucks over the next few months to buy myself a Wii. Not only is the Wii fun for games and such but you can access the Netflix Instant Watch service through the Wii console and stream movies to your TV that way, which would be much more convenient than only being able to watch them on the computer. Initially, I was considering trying to pick up a Wii at a Pawn Shop or something along those lines but I’ve kind of decided that it would just be more secure for me to pay full price and buy a brand new one. They aren’t actually THAT expensive, they are just more than I can afford to do out of one paycheck nowadays. I miss those days when I could go out and spend $200 out of one paycheck. I’ll get back there eventually, though.

Anyway, this blog has basically been a whole lot of talk about things that haven’t happened yet. Let me take a minute to talk about things that did happen, like today. It wasn’t all that interesting a day, honestly. Work was boring and we were short-staffed, which seems to be a bit of a Friday tradition lately. However, my workplace has been abuzz over the past few days with talk of hiring new people. It’s kind of exciting because the last new hire in my department was me, and that was a year and a half ago. It hasn’t really been necessary up to this point but it definitely seems like it is now. I am also really excited to be adding some new faces to my day-to-day work life. I have made it very clear to my supervisors that their objective in the hiring process should be one main factor: BOYS – cute boys, in particular, (cute GAY boys, to be even more specific.) I am basically trying to convince them to hire me a group of suitors. I’m kidding, of course. I don’t really care who they hire. I just think it will be nice to have some new people around at work to shake things up a bit. It’s been getting kind of boring there, so adding in some new personalities would be nice. Of course, there is also a lot of drama that will come along with adding in these new people because our account is one of the more difficult ones in the building to deal with and a lot of people have trouble making it through training or staying in place once they get on the floor. It should all be interesting to watch, anyway. Aside from that stuff, I basically spent the day writing. I actually wrote four new songs today. The first one I actually had started yesterday but didn’t finish until today. That one is my favorite of the group, called “My Least Favorite Day.” It is describing, in detail, the day that my ex-boyfriend moved away. It’s basically a song about how I still remember it all so clearly and, even though I am pretty well over it by now, it is still “My Least Favorite Day.” I really like this song because it is so much more descriptive than any song I have ever written, going into details like the fact that he was wearing a blue and white striped polo, we sat outside at the Metro Café, I drank a latte with cinnamon in it and we shared a muffin. It is funny how I remember all these little details of that day. There are a ton that I don’t mention in this song but that I recall. For example, we were both feeling kind of awkward about saying goodbye and talked about a lot of really random bullshit to get around having to discuss our true feelings. One thing in particular that we discussed was the Justin Timberlake song “LoveStoned.” As he was driving me to work, where he was dropping me off for work before he left, he had the Justin Timberlake “FutureSex/LoveSounds” album playing in his car and that song played. I said that this was my favorite song on the album because it has a really cool, sweeping, ecstasy-induced trip out sort of sound to it and changes tempos several times throughout the song, and he said that he really didn’t like the song for the exact same reason. We both agreed that the song was really “druggy” sounding but disagreed on whether or not that was appealing. I also wrote a song today that I was really proud of, in a very different way, called “Fat Whore.” “Fat Whore” is basically a song about those girls that you meet a little too often in life, who are clearly extremely insecure and are constantly trying to sexualize themselves and make themselves appear desirable to everybody around them. They are that type of girl with a Blanche Devereaux complex – they kind of build themselves up in their own minds but don’t honestly believe any of it. In fact, all the things that they make themselves out to be are actually the things that they are the most insecure about. I find it fascinating that people can live with that type of disillusionment. These girls are often complete bitches to everybody around them, in attempts to assert their dominance, and they are CONSTANTLY seeking attention from anybody who will give it to them. They are also the types who frequently place themselves in the role of victim in order to garner sympathy from others. This often works, until they let their true bitch faces show and people realize that they weren’t victims at all. They were just bitches all along. The reason I was so proud of this song is because I was trying to write something Courtney Love-ish, but in my own style, and I feel like I pulled it off really well. Plus, it is a very angry song but expressed in a way that I felt was really clever and fun. Also, it just makes me proud to have written a song with a title like “Fat Whore.” The reason it is “Fat Whore,” as opposed to any other type of insult is because, in my head, fat whore is always my go-to insult. If somebody is really pissing me off, in my head I ALWAYS call them a fat whore before anything else. Like I said, this song just really expressed something very different than I have expressed in any of my songs before and I love it for that.

Anyway, I fell asleep writing this blog last night, so it is morning now. I need to go eat something for breakfast and shower and such in preparation for when my Mom gets off work and we go out shopping! I’m pretty excited for it. For now, though, it is time for some food and maybe a movie. TTYL.