Chapter 203: Can I Have A Kiss?

I mentioned in last night’s blog how I was thinking of skipping my workout this morning but I wasn’t sure about that. Part of me felt like leaving a day between each workout was a good thing for my body but part of me felt like I would never see results if I didn’t push myself when I was feeling like skipping and such. I was feeling kind of conflicted on the topic, honestly, but it turned out that the decision was made for me. You see, last night I finished the blog at nearly 1am and when I got into bed after that I had a lot of trouble falling asleep. Then I woke up a couple times during the night, which has never been a common occurrence for me but seems to be happening more and more lately. These things combined, I didn’t get the most sleep last night. So, I really had no reason to be surprised when I woke up at 6:50am this morning, in spite of my alarm going off at 6am. I suppose I needed the extra sleep. Still, I felt a little rushed. I’ve gotten used to having a full two hours to prepare myself before work and such. Not having that extra 50 minutes really made a big difference in my morning. Still, it wasn’t a bad morning. I ate some leftovers from last night’s dinner for breakfast and watched last night’s “Chelsea Lately” while I ate. When I went into the bathroom to get dressed and do my makeup, I came up with a really cool makeup concept for the day. I wore a baby blue Old Navy v-neck t-shirt so I decided to try my hand at a very cool “smoky” effect using a couple different shades of blue. The thing that made this a cooler look than your average blue smoky eye is the fact that I used this look as an excuse to use my MAC Brule shadow all over the lid, then blended the blues on the outer corner, so it kind of gave the illusion that it was just skin with blues emerging from the outer corner of the eye. I guess you’d have to see it, and no doubt I’ll post the pictures on my Facebook page, but I really loved the way it came out.

I was in a pretty good mood when I got to work this morning. I spent the first part of this morning going over the sheet music for “Intermezzo (A Love Story)” and writing out which notes were which. I am not yet at a point where I can just look at the placement of the notes on the lines and instinctively know which note it is. The operative word there would be YET. I am thinking that tomorrow I may spend a good part of the day re-writing this sheet music in my sheet music notebook because it is a little difficult to read on the papers that he gave me. I feel like I’ll probably be able to work a little better off of sheet music that I copied myself. I don’t know, though, because there are a lot of little intricacies to this piece that I am afraid I might forget some piece of notation that is actually important to the piece. I spent most of today not really working on much of anything but actual work. It was a little busier today than it has been recently. It seems like business has picked up a lot this week, which is weird. It may be a positive sign, though. I am going to choose to see it that way whether or not it is the truth. I also somehow managed to go another day without writing any new songs, which is weird. That is two days in a row I didn’t do it – three, actually, if you count Tuesday. I am pretty well considering it to be just a workday task, so I am not doing it on Tuesdays now that I am off on Tuesdays. Still, it is very strange that I didn’t write anything new yesterday or today. I need to get back on the ball tomorrow. I think a lot of it may have to do with the fact that I feel like I don’t have a whole lot to say right now. My life is pretty uninteresting the past couple of weeks. It’s annoying. It also makes this blog kind of difficult to write every day. There isn’t a whole lot of interest in my day-to-day life recently so there isn’t a lot to write about. In fact, I am already planning on cutting tonight’s blog short. I am not cutting it short for lack of things to say, per se, but because I am exhausted. After not sleeping well last night and dragging ass all day today, I am feeling really drained.

I got to sit and talk with a couple of different people I haven’t really had much chance to deal with lately, which was nice. It also helps that these were both good-looking boys. I need more good-looking boys in my life nowadays. With the wedding and such, I have been thinking a lot about relationships and such. I try to avoid that type of talk or thinking, honestly, but I can’t help but think of the fact that I am the odd man out in the group I am attending the wedding with. Everybody else is paired off in one way or another. I don’t have anybody to dance with or introduce people to or any of that fun stuff that you do at weddings and events like that. It’s kind of shitty. At the same time, though, I am okay with it. My brother has a limited number of seats for the wedding and probably wouldn’t have room for me to bring a date, anyway. It’s not really about the wedding, though. It is more a matter of watching people commit and celebrate their love for one another that gets to me. I don’t have anybody to celebrate. I don’t have anybody to commit to or to commit to me. Let me stop before this turns into a festival of whining, moping and being generally pathetic. It’s all good, though. The right person will come along eventually and I’ll be ready to share my attention and focus with them. That will be lovely when it happens… in the meantime, though, I am simply going to enjoy my life on my own where my only real focus has to be on creative work. That won’t change, honestly, but I will have somebody around to share in all of that with me.

After work, I made some frozen Lasagna and a salad for dinner. I spent the evening watching Oprah. She had Dolly Parton on last week and that was really a thrill for me seeing the two of them, two of my biggest inspirations in life recently, together on one show. It was really sweet and Dolly was, once again, full of good old Dolly-isms. It was a really good episode. I also spent 30 minutes practicing piano, focusing strictly on the new piece. It’s a lot more difficult than I expected and there are a few spots right off the bat that I am having a bit of trouble understanding. I think I am going to have to call Viktor sometime over the weekend to see if he can shed some light on the whole thing for me. There are just a few random spots that I am having a lot of trouble grasping. I also spent a little bit of money this evening of the cash I have left from the last paycheck. I had initially planed on hanging on to that cash to soften the blow of having to pay for the June piano lessons out of this paycheck but instead I spent $28.89 on two new eye shadow pans for my MAC pro palette. I ordered Espresso, which is a gorgeous matte brown, and Passionate, which is a really gorgeous true red color. This means that I am 1/5 of the way to filling the palette. I am really excited for these colors to arrive so I can experiment even more with MAC cosmetics. So far, though, I am really happy with the one shadow that I have from them. For now, though, I am having trouble keeping my eyes open so I should get to bed before I wind up passing out at the computer. Tomorrow is Friday, though, the last working day before my 4 days off. I am really excited for this weekend, even though I don’t have any real plans. Seriously, this sleepiness is becoming an issue. I have to get to bed. Goodnight.