Chapter 202: Penny

It is nearly 11:30pm already and I am just beginning tonight’s blog, which is not a good sign for the night as far as sleep goes. Still, I am optimistic. I am going to try to keep the blog short tonight because I don’t really have a lot to say and I would prefer to get to bed sooner than later. Overall, it was a pretty good day. It all began when I woke up at 6am when my alarm went off. I got up, washed my face and brushed my teeth, then made myself a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast and a cup of coffee. While I ate my oatmeal, drank my coffee and smoked a cigarette, I was dicking around on the Internet – pretty much the same old morning routine. Around 6:45am I went out to the living room to do my morning exercise. I did the “Dancing With The Stars” workout I have been doing for the past couple of weeks and I continue to really enjoy it. I also continue to really feel it working. I can feel it throughout the day, in the form of soreness in my muscles. I really can’t wait until that soreness lessens. Still, I am only two weeks into this workout and I really can’t expect to be completely acclimated to it at this point. It will all come in due time, though. I am confident in this fact. The Universe has a way of working things out like that for me but it’s not just going to make things happen for me if I am unwilling to put in the effort to make them happen for myself. After the workout, I smoked another cigarette then headed into the bathroom to get dressed and do hair and makeup for the day. I hadn’t pre-planned a makeup look for the day or anything like that, so I decided to just wing it. I had initially thought of just doing my Taylor Momsen-inspired black and gold look, because I felt like using my Christian Siriano eye shadow in Gilded Fierce, which is a dark black with tons of gold glitter in it. Still, I wanted to do something different and new. So, I took my Urban Decay Summer Of Love palette and did bright gold, (Maui Wowie,) on the inner corners of my eyelids and bright, shimmery purple, (Flash,) over the rest of the lid. Then, I did the crease in the Christian Siriano Gilded Fierce color and used Maui Wowie as a brow highlight. I also got a little experimental with trying to contour and highlight my face. I thought it came out pretty well but when I emerged from the bathroom and my Mom saw me from across the room she said I looked like I was wearing stage makeup. Anybody who has done theater or is familiar with the theater or any type of performance art knows that stage makeup is cool on stage but a very bad thing up close. So, I covered that shit with powder to tone it down and got myself looking a little less “made up.” What I have realized is that I really need to stop playing around with that type of stuff until I have the right products and tools for it. I don’t have the right brushes for contouring and don’t own a single bronzer. I also only own one shade of blush, which I love, but could definitely use a little more variety as far as that goes. There is this company called Sedona Lace that sells a really fairly priced and decent quality blush and contour palette, which I think I may order some day soon. Either way, I need to stop messing with that stuff in the meantime. I don’t want to look like some whore from the 80s or a reject from “Hello, Dolly!”

Work was pretty laid back today. It was a little boring but it wasn’t bad. I just realized right now, though, that I didn’t write two new songs today. I didn’t even write one. It’s strange but it completely slipped my mind. I suppose it is okay to miss a day but it is very strange because I haven’t missed a day of writing songs since I started this whole thing. Actually, now that I think of it, I did start writing one today but then erased it because I wasn’t happy with it. Then I tried starting another one but it didn’t work out, either. I got a little busy later in the day so I didn’t ever wind up going back to it. That sucks. Still, like I said, I wound up a little busy. I colored calendars for people and played sudoku and took more calls today than I have most days lately. I don’t really know where the time went. Like I said, the day was pretty boring, as far as work goes. A co-worker passed off a “project” on me, so that consumed the last part of my day. Fortunately, I got out on time and found that my sister’s girlfriend was getting out right on time, as well. So, we hurried downstairs, got in the car and headed for my piano lesson.

All week long I have been extra excited for tonight’s piano lesson, mainly because I was meant to go in and show Viktor how well I could play the two pieces from before and, even more exciting, get a new piece to work on moving forward. Well, it didn’t work out entirely as planned… at least, not at first. I went in and chatted with Viktor for a minute or two, then went to play the first of the two pieces I’ve been working on and totally botched it. Viktor said it was clear that I hadn’t been practicing much this past week, which sucked because I actually did 30 minutes of practice on 5 of the 6 days between lessons. So, after I finished and he was saying that I stopped him and told him that I had been practicing a lot and it was much better at home. So, he asked me to do it again and I pretty well aced it. The thing is, there are a lot of things that I do just fine when I’m on my own at home but then when I get in the room with Viktor at the actual piano it just comes out funny. In some ways, I think that he makes me nervous. I don’t really think it’s him specifically, though, I think it’s just that I’m a little awkward and insecure about playing in front of anybody and it makes me fuck things up that I know I can do right. Still, much like today, I always manage to pull my focus together and get it right. This is definitely something I am going to have to work on. Still, I am glad I managed to get my shit together and prove that I have been working on it. He did give me a new piece to work on moving forward and, I’m not going to lie, it is pretty intimidating. I am really happy with the piece he selected, though. It is called “Intermezzo (A Love Story)” from the 1939 film of the same name. The film stars Ingrid Bergman and Leslie Howard and that is honestly all I know about it. Still, Viktor played the piece for me before anything else and it is a gorgeous piece of music. The thing I like best about it, though, is the fact that this piece feels more like an actual song than the pieces I have been working on up to this point. It is a full-blown song where the others seemed more like jingles or kids songs or something like that. They didn’t feel like I was working on playing an actual song. Viktor told me that he selected this particular piece for me because I want to learn to write music for myself and he felt like this would be a good way to learn about the way that a song is constructed and such. Plus, this song includes a lot of 1/8 notes and 1/16 notes, which I haven’t dealt with much before this point. This is a really good thing, I think, especially considering the fact that this sheet looks like the sheet music that I downloaded for Celine Dion’s “A New Day Has Come,” which I didn’t understand. It also looks like this other piece of sheet music I downloaded the other day, for All Saints’ song “Never Ever.” I am kind of hoping that this will help me with learning from other sheet music. Of course, I’ve still got a long way to go. Viktor did mention, though, come August or so, possibly setting up my own mini-recital with the pieces I’ve been working on and this new one. That, I think, would be really amazing. I don’t know. I am really excited about this new piece, though, and really ready to dive into it.

After piano, Viktor gave me a ride home so I got home around 7:30pm. My Mom and I had kind of planned on eating out tonight because we wouldn’t really have time to cook with her having to come all the way to the Allegro Academy to pick me up after she got off work. Since I got here before she got off, though, I decided to go ahead and make dinner. I made Lemon Pepper Chicken, some boxed pasta and corn. It was a really good dinner. When my Mom got home from work, though, she seemed really down. She was depressed about the fact that her paycheck this week would be the first without any overtime on it. It’s going to be small. I reassured her in every way that I could, I told her I would make sure not to do any shopping or anything this weekend just to be sure I have money available in case it is necessary. I do have to pay for next month’s piano lessons out of this paycheck and, of course, June has five Wednesdays which means I have to pay ahead for five lessons instead of four. It’s okay, though. I just have to make sure not to spend money this weekend. Of course, I have to spend a little cash to go see Sex & The City 2 on Saturday with Whitney. I am also going to pre-purchase tickets for Sex & The City 2 on Monday when my Mom gets back into town. We have already made plans to go see it Monday night because we are both going to see it with other people over the weekend but also really need to go together. We saw the first one together in theaters three times and are both extremely excited for this new one. I really can’t wait. I told my Mom, though, that this paycheck with no overtime on it is really just the Universe giving her a bit of a kick in the ass to do something to improve her situation, like fight even harder to find another job. I have kind of been thinking a bit about trying to find myself another job in the meantime. Not a new job to replace my current job but a second job to supplement my income. I think it could be a really good thing. I don’t know where I could work, though, with a shift starting after 6pm. Of course, there are places. I can think of several places open late, like Target or Barnes & Noble or Borders. It’s a shame I can’t go back to Borders. Still, I think I’ve kind of burned that bridge. You never know, though. After all, I never expected to go back to the place that shall not be named for security purposes for a third time. I don’t know. It’s definitely something I am going to keep in mind, though. I think it could be a very good plan for me to step up and take on more responsibility and make more money to support my household. Plus, another retail job could be a good thing for my social life, in a lot of ways. It seems like every time I have worked a retail job I have met a lot of new people and made a lot of new friends. I don’t necessarily know that this is what I need in life at this time but I figure it couldn’t hurt any more than it could help. Either way, it just seems like it could be a really good idea at this point in time and is definitely something I intend to pursue further.

It is now 12:44am and I should have been in bed about 45 minutes ago. It’s going to be an early morning, after all. I am considering skipping the workout tomorrow and just doing three days this week like I did last week. It seemed to work out well last week, as far as the soreness goes. At the same time, though, I think it could be just as good of a thing to push through my soreness and go ahead and do it tomorrow morning. I am still undecided. I suppose I’ll see how I feel in the morning. If the time I am going to bed has anything to do with it, though, it is looking like I won’t be exercising in the morning. Like I said, we’ll see in the morning. I am really just looking forward to getting the next two days over with and getting to the weekend. After all, this is my four-day weekend! Then, I work Wednesday and Thursday of next week and am off for another five days. Still, that is the weekend of the wedding and will surely be pretty taxing. I still haven’t figured out exactly how I will manage to write the blog on those nights but my phone does have really great email capabilities, so I should be able to do it that way. I’ll figure it out before the time comes. In the meantime, the only thing I need to figure out is how to get my ass to bed. Goodnight!