Chapter 299: The Fear Of Wasted Time

Okay, so I am not going to waste my time trying to come up with an angle for discussing today or some inspiration that I found from some movie or music or something because, in all honesty, none of that happened today. I did absolutely nothing today. Seriously, I woke up just before 10am, I ate something, I sat in front of the TV watching nothing in particular, I continued my pre-shopping for Friday when "No Makeup August" is over and when I have money again, I did a few experimental makeup looks today using products I hadn't used in a while, etc. The bulk of the day, though, was spent lying in bed forcing myself not to go to sleep even though I was in the perfect position to do it. It is kind of a shameful thing for me, honestly. I mean, I am a person who has for the past year or so tried to constantly immerse myself in art and spend every "spare" moment focused on being productive or creative in some way or another. Today I did nothing of that nature at all. I didn't work on the piece I have been writing on the piano. I didn't paint or draw or anything. I did sing for a little while but I don't really feel like I got anything accomplished with that. I just hate the idea that I spent an entire day not being productive at all. What sucks even more is the fact that I am not being very productive or getting anything creative done at work this week either because of the fact that I have a shadow all week. I just hate the feeling that I am not moving forward at all. It sucks balls. I'm not going to talk about it anymore, though. No more thought is being dedicated to this idea - instead, I will focus my attention on being productive as often as humanly possible. That is what I truly want. That, and moving forward. A boy who reminds me of James Dean, as well, of course. So, my focus is going to those things now and not wasting time on other bullshit like wasting time on bullshit. So, I am done for now. I promise a better blog tomorrow night. I don't promise that to my readers or anything along those lines so much as I promise it to myself. Goodnight.