Chapter 272: Only In My Dreams

I've got a lot to cover this evening and I don't necessarily want to spend too much time writing this, so let's get right into it. First of all, I have to begin by talking about last night. Imentioned in last night's blog the fact that I had taken a nap yesterday and was trying to use "The Secret" to will myself to sleep last night. Well, it didn't work. I was not discouraged by it at all. Back in the day when I was initially practicing "The Secret" it never worked for sleep, either. In fact, I think when it comes to sleep, I wind up distracting myself by trying to fill my head with thoughts of sleep. I don't know... But I wasn't shocked by this at all. Still, one part of this whole thing wound up working out for me - I wasn't just focusing on sleeping well but also focusing on waking up and feeling rested & refreshed. In fact, I was probably more focused on that more than on the sleep part, which actually explains a lot. So, I wouldn't say that I immediately felt well-rested but I managed to make it through the entire day at work and such without really feeling tired or even feeling negative at all. Of course, there was a lot of distraction going on at work today, which I will explain further a little later. First I want to discuss what happened when I did wake up this morning. It was a normal morning, like any other, and I didn't want to get out of bed. Once I did get out of bed, though, the entire morning felt really effortless. I got every bit of the morning process done in a timely manner & really never felt at all like I needed to rush or anything. If nothing else, I always wind up feeling like I need to rush through putting on my makeup, at least. This morning that never happened, though - I was pretty well completely relaxed and leisurely with my time through the entire process & I really enjoyed that feeling.

When I arrived at work this morning I found that my co-workers on my team had been moved to a different part of the production floor, and the rest of the floor was completely rearranged, including a whole slew of cubicles with nametags on them with names I didn't recognize - our new training class was having their first official day on the production floor. I'd been pretty excited about this happening for the past month or so since they first told us that new people were being hired. I love having new people around - it shakes things up and makes the workplace more exciting. Pretty much all of these people hadn't taken any calls yet & were feeling pretty nervous about the whole thing, so for many of them they had one of the older employees "sidejack" with them while they took their first group of calls. So, I got assigned to the prettiest girl in the training class, which I always enjoy. She was only 18 but was the one who actually dressed really professionally and seemed the most devoted to the concept of having and KEEPING the job. She was a lot of fun & we got a chance to sit & talk about a lot of different things. We actually had a lot in common and clicked really well. It was pretty fun and a really good way to kill the first four hours of my shift, which is always nice. Eventually, they made me split from her and go back to my seat and take calls and such. The day passed really quickly and I got a lot of chance to talk with a lot of our new people, which was nice. I was actually really impressed with the fact that so many of them actually seemed really competent and actually pretty cool. Of course, there were a lot who I didn't get to meet and a lot of my co-workers said that they dealt with some real hot messes. It was really fun for me, though, because a lot of these people really looked to me for leadership and such, which is always something that I enjoy. It was pretty fun. The best part, though, was the fact that all of this made the day pass really quickly.

When I got home, I noticed that I had missed a call from the Allegro Music Academy and I immediately became concerned that they were expecting me to still pay for my lessons, even though I wasn't going to be taking them for the month since Viktor was going to be gone. The only impression Viktor gave was that I wouldn't be taking lessons this month. Well, it turns out that I was half right - they do still expect me to pay them for the month but they also intended for me to still be coming in for lessons with some substitute teacher. They call it a substitute teacher but that is what I call a stranger bitch. I'm not all that keen on working with some random woman who I've never met for the next month. I am also not keen on the fact that they didn't inform me of this lesson they had scheduled for me without my knowledge until about an hour before I was supposed to be there. Of course, I didn't get this message until I got home and I didn't have a ride arranged or anything so I decided to call them and figure out what the heck that was about. I reached this woman who I often have answer the phones there who is never any help and just generally a bitch. I really dislike speaking with her. In fact, when she answered the phone I briefly considered hanging up and trying back later. Unfortunately, it was only about 10 minutes before the lesson I was supposed to be showing up for and I didn't want to just not contact them at all. This woman was bitchier than ever today, though. I explained to her that when I spoke with Viktor last month I was under the impression that I simply wouldn't be taking lessons during the time that he was gone. This woman's response was that he must have told me I would be having lessons with a substitute because they wouldn't just leave their students without lessons for an entire month. I told her that I was never informed that I would still be having lessons and that I wouldn't be coming down there tonight because I had absolutely no notice to get there. She basically gave me a verbal beatdown and told me that I had to be there next week for a lesson with this stranger bitch. After speaking with her, I called my sister and told her about this whole thing. She informed me that her girlfriend's daughter has to work at 6:30pm next week on Wednesday, so she wouldn't be able to take me. So, clearly I won't be able to make it next week, either. I really find it very annoying that they even set this up without informing me beforehand and I would really rather just take the month off and not work with some stranger bitch who has no idea where I'm at or anything. I am thinking I am going to try calling down there tomorrow afternoon and see if I can reach the really nice girl who normally answers the phone so I can discuss the matter with somebody who might actually understand what I am saying and not be a complete bitch about the whole thing. I was just really put off by the whole thing, especially the fact that the woman even went as far as to imply that I was lying about not knowing about this lesson. I don't know what to do about the whole thing. I mean, I don't necessarily think that it could hurt to take these lessons but at the same time, I was kind of counting on not having to pay for lessons this month, as well as not having to manage to find a ride to my lessons this month. I am hoping to be able to cancel the lessons for the rest of the month and just go on as I was already planning to, where I just don't have a lesson until September 3rd. I am going to focus on that being the solution to this issue and, due to "The Secret" and the law of attraction, that will have to be the solution that comes.

Aside from this stress when I got home, there was also something really great waiting for me at home. The Best Of Stila "Ulta"-mate set, which was one of the things I ordered over the weekend before realizing the money drama I had accidentally come into, (which, btw, I have yet to get a resolution on from Ulta.com.) This was the one of the two purchases that I did not find myself regretting because I was just too excited for this item! The Best Of Stila "Ulta"-mate set is a really great special that Stila put together as an Ulta exclusive and it was an amazing deal - it came with a selection of full-sized Stila items all together in one package for only $40. Now, this item is no longer available at Ulta stores but I came upon it for an even better deal at only $18.95 and was really excited about the whole thing. Included in this package was a full-sized tube of Stila's Illuminating Tinted Moisturizer, four full-sized eye shadow pans, a full-sized Major Lash Mascara, a lip and cheek Convertible Color, which I believe is the only item that came in a lesser size than usual, and a full-sized tube of Stila Lip Glaze in the exclusive shade "Ulta"-mate Pink. It's awesome because it is really enough to create a full face look, if you use the tinted moisturizer as a foundation and one of the eye shadows as an eyeliner. It's definitely a great deal, no matter how you add it. So, I took off the makeup that I wore to work today and decided to have a little fun with all of these new products! I absolutely loved all of them, with the exception of the Illuminating Tinted Moisturizer. I already use Tinted Moisturizer instead of foundation because I live in Florida and it is really hard for foundation to stay on properly all day without becoming a big mess. My only really issue with this product was not the Tinted Moisturizer part of it's name but the Illuminating part - it is supposed to give you a healthy glow and I think it may but I think I may have used too much, because it basically made me look like an extra from that Britney Spears video "I'm A Slave 4 U" where everybody was really sweaty. My entire face was really shiny in the worst way possible - I looked like I'd been in a sauna or something. Of course, I'll hang on to the product for the simple fact that there are certain occasions where that is a good look and I'm not entirely sure but I think that it could work well as a highlighter for the face, so I'm going to experiment with it a little more. The rest of the products, though, I was completely thrilled with. The Major Lash Mascara was perfect for me because it doesn't really add any volume to the lashes, which I have plenty of naturally, but it does a really great job of lengthening the lashes, which is something I always want and could use help with. The Convertible Color that came with this package is in the shade Peony, which is really kind of a more nude looking pink color that I am in love with. The two Convertible Colors that I have now, from the Travel Girl palettes, are both in pretty strong shades - one is a really bright but soft pink called Hibiscus and the other is a much darker, reddish shade of pink called Rosebud. Those are both gorgeous but I really like having this one that is much more muted and neutral. Plus, this color is gorgeous on the lips, especially when paired with the lip glaze in "Ulta"-mate Pink. It gives the lips a really gorgeous look that I really fell in love with this evening. The four eye shadow shades in this set were also really great - there is a gorgeous soft golden color called Wheat, a darker brown/bronze color called Golightly, a gorgeous soft blue called Mystic and, my favorite, a full-sized pan of Stila's number one eyeshadow, Kitten. As you may recall, I already have a good sized pan of Kitten in the "It Girl" palette, (the palette that I wrote songs based on each shade in.) I absolutely love this shadow, though, and use it quite often, so I was really excited to have an extra pan of it. Unfortunately, these pans are just encased in these little plastic cases and I am thinking I may have to buy one of the empty palettes that Stila sells on their website. I am really excited, too, because I have a three-pack of other shades of the lip glazes coming in the mail, as well. I have said it in the blog before and I'm sure I will wind up saying it again but I have absolutely fallen in love with Stila Cosmetics. Almost every one of their products that I have tried have been absolutely amazing and I really use them more than any other brand of makeup. I definitely recommend Stila to everybody - it can be a little pricy but it is so worth the cost!

The only other thing I have to mention is my "Secret" focus for today. It was actually pretty much the same thing that I went with on Monday and it worked again. I really don't want to go on about this too much because it is incredibly silly and incredibly dumb... I just can't help myself sometimes. I really don't want to talk about it. Well, actually, I really DO want to talk about it but I don't want to because I just hate being "that girl" who goes all crazy and has to blab on and on about boys. I especially don't want to do that right now because I really can't imagine that it will go anywhere at all. Even this feels like I'm saying too much and coming across as really dumb. The thing is, I am not at all comfortable in talking about having crushes or anything like that. I am okay with it when it's not really a serious crush or anything but anytime something is a new feeling that I am having I get really uncomfortable even mentioning that it exists because I feel like acknowledging it too much will curse the whole thing. It is just always such a surprise to me when I find myself having any sort of feelings of that nature - it isn't common for me. I don't feel that sort of thing often at all and, like I said, I am not at all comfortable talking about it. So, I am going to stop. Let's just say that my "Secret" focus for the day worked. For now, though, it is 11:25pm and I need to go do my evening skincare routine and get myself to bed. I am hoping for a better night of sleep than I had last night. So, that is it for now. Goodnight.