Chapter 290: A Little Messed Up

Today was a pretty good day. I mean, it had it’s ups and downs, but overall it was pretty good. I didn’t do a whole lot, so I will probably make this a pretty short blog tonight. I’m tired and I don’t really have all that much to say. The day began at 10:45am when my alarm went off. My Mom was at work doing some overtime, so I was kind of left to my own devices this morning. So, the first thing I did, aside from brushing my teeth and washing my face and such, was sit down in front of the TV to watch my most recent arrival from Netflix, “James Dean,” the biopic from 2004 starring James Franco as my boyfriend, James Dean. James Franco is NO James Dean but in terms of my ideal man, he’d be pretty high up on the list behind James Dean. Unfortunately, this film did a whole lot of nothing for me. It was just not very good. James Franco seemed to be playing a complete caricature of the classic James Dean image. He didn’t bring anything new or all that interesting to the role, which is a shame because from what I have seen in interviews and such James Dean was a very complex and captivating guy. James Franco did not bring that across at all. The entire movie was focused on his having Daddy issues, which is an interesting angle based on the roles James Dean had in “Rebel Without A Cause” and “East Of Eden,” but it wasn’t played out very well. It seemed like this movie didn’t put much focus at all on James Dean’s actual personal life. Aside from the Daddy issues, the other focus of this film was how difficult he was supposed to be to work with. Even that was basically just mentioned a lot but not really demonstrated much. It was just not a very good movie, which is a shame. My James Dean deserves better than that. I mean, it wasn’t the worst movie in the world but it wasn’t great, either. I don’t really recommend it – it wasn’t very interesting. I also did laundry while watching this movie and text messaged back and forth with my Mom, discussing plans for when she got off from work at 2pm. We both agreed that we wanted to go do lunch at IHOP because I got this thing from the IHOP in Orlando called a Big Steak Omelette that was insanely delicious. I also really wanted to get a haircut and go shop for new jeans. It has been forever and a day since I had bought new jeans and there is this store for fat people in town that has really cute jeans, so I figured I would go check it out and see if I could pick up something cute. So, the movie ended around 1pm and I immediately took out the trash because my Mom had asked me to last night, then got into the shower, shaved and did my hair and makeup for the day. I got to use some of the new products I picked up last night and I absolutely love them, especially the Super Skinny Liquid Eyeliner Marker I got from NYX. It works perfectly! I also used the lip stain I had purchased, which I was really happy with last night but felt considerably less sure of today. I don’t know how I feel about it still. I will have to try it again another day.

Once my Mom got home we headed out to try to figure out where I could get a haircut on a Sunday and it turns out that the answer is nowhere. Most places were on the verge of closing already and not taking any more customers. Even Supercuts and Great Clips were all really busy and getting ready to close. I figured out later that this was probably because tomorrow is the first day of school and all the parents are taking their kids out for last minute haircuts. So, we scratched off the idea of getting my hair cut, which kind of sucks. We then headed to IHOP for lunch, where our server was this absolutely adorable guy who reminded me way too much of Wilson Cruz, from “Noah’s Arc” and “My So-Called Life,” which was very appealing. We were stuffed by the time we left there. There was this really funny group of people who showed up towards the end of our meal, though, who were a bunch of college-aged kids who were tourists in the area. I only bring them up because they totally made me think of the cast of some generic horror film at the very beginning of the movie and I imagined all these different scenarios about the vicious ways they would each be murdered in the next few days or whatever, and which ones would be the ones who would survive in the end and such. It was pretty entertaining. After we left there we headed over to the fat man store, where I found all kinds of really cute jeans. Unfortunately, these jeans were all like $50 each and I could really only afford to pick up one pair. So, I got this really gorgeous new pair of dark blue faded denim jeans with an orange/golden colored undertone. I am in love with them. I also picked up a new khaki colored belt, which I also fell in love with. These are seriously the most comfortable jeans I have ever worn. They are awesome and I am already really excited to actually wear them.

After that, my Mom was really tired and I wound up spending more money than I wanted to for the day and still had a few other things to pick up, so we decided to just go home for a while. My Mom lay down for a nap and I laid down in bed to watch a movie on Netflix. Just last night I discovered that Netflix had the movie “Sweet Charity” available for Instant Viewing, which I was really excited about. I had never seen the film version of “Sweet Charity,” but went through this little period a few years ago where I was completely obsessed with the Cast Recording of the 2005 Revival of the show, starring Christina Applegate. The music from this show is brilliant. I absolutely adore it. The film version, directed by Bob Fosse back in 1969, stars Shirley McClaine as Charity Hope Valentine, the down-on-her-luck but completely loveable dancehall hostess who is eternally hopeful and searching for true love. Poor Charity is repeatedly getting shit on by men but remains just as hopeful and happy as ever. Still, she is unhappy in her job and her general station in life. The story follows Charity as she meets various men and gets screwed over by all of them. In the end, she meets a man who she falls in love with but doesn’t tell him what she does for a living. Everything goes great but in the end she tells him what she does and he at first claims to be okay with it and proposes, but eventually breaks off the engagement because he just can’t deal with the idea of all the men in the dancehall she has dealt with. In the very end, Charity lives, as the screen read, “hopefully ever after.” This film was absolutely adorable and I found myself relating to Charity in so many ways it wasn’t even funny. I totally get what she was going through, although I am not quite in the same predicament as she was. I mean, at least she had a long string of men shitting on her. I haven’t dated anybody in a very long time. What I could definitely relate to, though, was her optimism. No matter how many shitty guys she dealt with, she still really believed that the one was coming. No matter how many guys I am not dealing with at all, I still absolutely believe that the right one is coming. My James Dean is coming any day now. I can’t wait for it.

After I finished this movie, my Mom was awake and we needed to go out and pick up cigarettes and soda for me and buy ourselves some dinner. We went to K-Mart, which is really strange because it was the second time I’d been there this week after not having been there in years. At K-Mart, I picked up a new tube of my Covergirl CG Aqua Smoothers tinted moisturizer, which is what I use as foundation every single day and have just run out of. I also spent $2.99 on a new mascara from Wet N’ Wild, which is one of the most ghetto of ghetto brand cosmetics and one that I haven’t used in like five years. Everything of theirs was SO cheap, though. Like I said, this mascara I picked up was only $2.99. It was also a curl-enhancing mascara, which I was pretty psyched about, because my lashes are really full and long but they don’t hold a curl at all, so I am excited to see if this mascara helps with this at all. Like I said, my current mascara is from Stila and is just not all that great. It is too thick and gets way too much product on the brush. I have a really bad tendency to accidentally get mascara in my eye because of how much is on the brush. Have you ever gotten mascara in your eye? IT BURNS… just like cum but probably worse. No need to elaborate on that further. Anyway, I also picked up a pencil sharpener because the one I use for my eyeliner pencils got lost and my favorite black eyeliner pencil, the Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Eye Pencil in Zero, has gotten to that point where the product was in further than the wood, so any time I used it I would wind up stabbing myself in the eye a little bit with the wooden part. So, a pencil sharpener was a very good investment. Unfortunately, after all of this spending today I am in a bad position again. The thing is, I know that I attracted this to myself. I spent all weekend focused on not getting to that point where I am kind of screwed for the next two weeks. So, of course, putting out the frequency of what I do not want instead of the frequency of what I do want brought what I do not want to me. So, for the next two weeks and after I get paid again I will focus only on improved financial situations. I will focus on having an abundance of money and being able to just go out and buy whatever I want. Eventually, if I keep focusing on that and really believing in it, it will have no choice but to come to me.

All that being said, I am ready for bed. The only other thing I wanted to mention was the album that I have been listening to a lot, aside from Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” album. This is pretty much the only album I have been listening to aside from Katy Perry, and Regina Spektor who Rachel kind of talked me into giving a chance and who I can’t get enough of now. The album I am talking about is “A Little Messed Up” by The Dollyrots, a band who has been around for several years but who I am just discovering now. This album is not actually released yet, I believe, but I just stumbled upon it online and completely fell in love with it. The Dollyrots are a female-led pop-punk band and they are just brilliant. This album, the only of theirs that I have heard at this point, is just wall-to-wall fun. The entire album is pretty upbeat and very California focused, which I love. My favorite thing, though, is that pretty much the entire album is about falling in love. I really appreciate that right now because it is what I am trying to attract into my life and this, as well as much of the Katy Perry album, is excellent music to bring that idea into focus. I highly recommend checking this band out because they are absolutely insane. Their music is all a lot of fun and really catchy, spunky, poppy rock/punk music. It is a brilliant album. It really reminds me of being in California again and makes me feel the desire to go back there again. The best songs on the album, in my opinion, or the songs to download if you are just wanting a little preview of their sound, would definitely be “California Beach Boy,” “Just Like Chocolate,” “Om Nom Nom,” “Some Girls” and the title track, “A Little Messed Up.” Seriously, though, just download the entire album – it is absolutely worth it. For now, though, it is time for me to get to bed. Tomorrow is back to work, and I believe my Mom and I are going to see “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” at the dollar theatre after work tomorrow. So, it should be good times. For now, though, I need to have a good time straight to bed. Goodnight.