Chapter 171: Make It Shine

So, today didn’t get off to the best start ever. I woke up this afternoon at 1:30pm. This was after having a lot of trouble falling asleep last night… Okay, so I’d be a little disingenuous if I said I was ACTUALLY having trouble falling asleep. I wasn’t really trying to fall asleep, per se. I was in bed but I was doing other things, namely listening to the Nerdist podcast. Then, around 5am, after I had listened to all the new episodes of the Nerdist podcast, I decided to get out of bed and get on the computer to download some stand-up comedy albums. It’s not something I listen to frequently but I do have a lot of comedy albums on my iPod. Every so often, I get in the mood to listen to a comedy album. Last night was one of those “every so often” moments. Now, I have a general preference toward female comedians and last night I found a couple of gems from a couple that I really like – Whitney Cummings and Jen Kirkman. If you are an avid watched of “Chelsea Lately,” like I am and like you should be because it is hilarious, then you are familiar with both of these names. They are both frequent roundtable participants on “Chelsea Lately,” and are both pretty hilarious. I just genuinely appreciate and GET the style of humor of pretty much all of the comedians of “Chelsea Lately.” It’s good stuff. I fell asleep listening to Whitney Cummings’ album, “Emotional Ninja,” last night. It is really a hilarious set she does and if you are into listening to stand-up comedy, I highly recommend it.

Like I said, I woke up at 1:30pm this afternoon. I skipped the step of washing my face this morning because I was being lazy and went straight for breakfast. I figured since I had already kind of screwed up the day by waking up so late, I should just go “full blown fuck up” mode and ate a bowl of spaghetti for breakfast. I was in the mood for garlic bread and didn’t want to make the stuff that we had in the freezer, (again, because I was being lazy,) so I did my own ghetto version of garlic bread. I couldn’t find any actual bread in the house so I toasted a bagel, buttered it and sprinkled garlic salt over it. It worked well and was actually pretty tasty. Despite my general laziness today, I did also managed to throw in a load of laundry as I was preparing breakfast. After that, I sat down in front of the TV and pulled up my list of stuff recorded on the DVR. I decided to watch last night’s “Saturday Night Live,” which I had been kind of excited to see because it was hosted by Gabourey Sidibe, from “Precious,” who I think is adorable, beautiful and insanely talented. She did a really good job hosting “SNL,” and I was particularly into her opening monologue, where she did a little musical number about how she isn’t actually “Precious” and is sick of people coming up to her and being like, “Wow, life must have been so hard for you,” and stuff like that. I wasn’t sure what they would do with an opening for her but it was pretty perfect. The whole episode was pretty decent – not the best episode of this season but really good in comparison to the majority of the season. There have only really been three or four really great episodes of that show this season, like the Taylor Swift episode and the one with Tina Fey. I think the show has definitely gone downhill since Tina Fey left. I just liked her writing better. It’s a shame, though, because the head writer now is Seth Myers, who I adore and who is hilarious on “Weekend Update,” (not to mention HOT,) but the sketches are just weird and random and it just doesn’t work. I don’t know if the issue is necessarily with the writing so much as it is with the current cast, which is not very strong. I don’t know. They definitely need something to switch things up, though. I am really excited to see what they do with the upcoming Betty White episode, though. She is a national treasure and really a comedic legend, so it will be interesting to see how “SNL” works with her. After I turned off “SNL,” the plan was to immediately get in the shower and shave but I got distracted by MTV’s “The Hills: From The Beginning” marathon. I haven’t really sat down and watched any of it because I actually have all the seasons on DVD and have seen every episode from the beginning multiple times but there have been a few times this weekend where I have allowed myself to get sucked in by a random episode here and there for a little while. This afternoon, however, they were playing the Season Five (part one,) finale episode, with Heidi and Spencer’s wedding, which Lauren kept saying she wasn’t going to but eventually did. I remember when that episode initially aired – I bawled like a baby. Lauren and Heidi drama made me cry a LOT over the course of “The Hills.” I just have always found watching the deterioration of a friendship considerably more heartbreaking and touching than the deterioration of a relationship. Relationship stuff doesn’t make me cry all that often in movies and such, although I will say that “(500) Days of Summer” has made me cry my eyes out every time I have seen it. Even that one, though, while being centered around a relationship, the stuff that really hit close to home for me was the personal growth that the character of Summer goes through throughout the course of the relationship. That is an amazing movie – if you haven’t seen it, go buy it IMMEDIATELY. Still, typically, the things that really hit me emotionally in films and music and such is not typically the stuff that is based around relationships. My go-to movie anytime I need a really good, hard cry is “Shut Up & Sing,” the Dixie Chicks documentary. Without fail, I have an emotional breakdown every time I watch that movie. There is this part at the end of the movie where Martie, one of the two original Dixie Chicks before Natalie Maines joined and they became successful, says that she could tell that any little thing that goes wrong Natalie feels like it is her fault after the whole scandal with them criticizing George W. Bush, and she says something that really hit me – she says that she loves the band and making music and doesn’t want to stop it but that if Natalie came to her and said that she wanted to quit and end the band, she would do it, too, because she can see the toll that all of it was taking on Natalie and she really just wants her to not have that feeling anymore. Just the fact that she would be so willing to make that kind of sacrifice because of the toll it is taking on her bandmate is amazing and makes me cry every single time. That movie is amazing, as well. I love the Dixie Chicks.

So, I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t still slightly bummed by my whole “Glee” audition fiasco today. I mean, I wasn’t all THAT bummed about it because I didn’t really give it a lot of thought at all but anytime it did come to mind, I felt a little pang of “ouch.” I was initially trying to come up with reasons why it was so dismal, pointing fingers at my song choice or the list of songs to choose from, but in all honesty I can’t really blame anything but myself. I am out of practice. I didn’t make any bad choices with it or anything – all of the songs sounded pretty similar when I sang them. I mean, the songs didn’t sound similar, but the shortcomings I had in the video I submitted were all the same shortcomings I had with the videos I did with the other songs. I have allowed myself to get out of practice so there are a lot of things, like my breathing and holding out notes and such, that simply aren’t as strong as they once were. I also really need to take some vocal lessons in order to improve on what I already have. It just makes the most sense. I don’t know how soon I’ll be able to start that but I am hoping it will be soon. I have always said that I think vocal lessons would do me a world of good – look at what they did for Madonna after “Evita.” She already had a decent voice but the voice lessons she took for “Evita” made a world of difference in her voice and made it so much stronger. So, that is definitely something I need to do. Still, like I said, I did have some questions about the choices I made as far as the video goes. Maybe I wouldn’t have come across so much like I was shouting had I just gone with “True Colors,” or something like that. I have always thought that my strength is much more in making an emotional connection to the song I am singing than anything else, and “True Colors” is simply not a song I feel all that connected to. Of all the songs, “Don’t Rain On My Parade” is definitely the one that I felt the most connected to. Still, I said all along that the song was far too big for my abilities. The reason I wound up going for that one is because I figured I’d rather try to go bigger and fall flat than go small and seem disconnected from what I am singing. I couldn’t help but wonder, after the fact, if that wasn’t the right choice. Then I watched Nickelodeon and found my answer.

Most of my friends and such have heard my ranting about how much I love Disney and how much better it is than Nickelodeon. I grew up on Nickelodeon and loved the shows they had back in the day, like “Salute Your Shorts” and “Hey Dude,” and the later stuff like “The Secret World of Alex Mack” and such. Even The N, the television network I was obsessed with for years that aired my favorite TV show of all-time, “Degrassi,” was a “young adult” subsidiary of Nickelodeon. I wasn’t a huge Disney fan growing up, however beginning in 2003 or so, I got much more into Disney Channel stuff than Nickelodeon, like “Lizzie McGuire,” “Hannah Montana,” “Jonas,” “Wizards Of Waverly Place,” etc., and the Disney Channel Original Movies, “High School Musical,” “Camp Rock,” “Wizards Of Waverly Place: The Movie,” and “Princess Protection Program.” I just really like the Disney Channel stars. From Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, etc., to some of their bit players, like Tiffany Thornton, Brenda Song and Alyson Stoner, they have a really talented crop of kids coming out of the Disney Channel programming these days. Meanwhile, Nickelodeon has all this weird stuff that I just don’t find very appealing, like “Naked Brothers Band,” and “iCarly.” Still, the other day I saw this girl on “The View,” who was adorable, fresh-faced and funny, named Victoria Justice. I remembered her from the one recent Nickelodeon show that I was kind of into, “Zoey 101,” and always thought she was cute. She was promoting the new Nickelodeon series she is starring in, “Victorious,” which is about a girl attending a Performing Arts High School. Basically, this show is “Fame,” without all the serious stuff. So, it is like a combination of “Fame” and “Hannah Montana.” Still, I thought she was really cute and they played one of her songs, “Make It Shine,” the theme from the show on “The View,” which I was really into, so I decided to give it a shot and set the DVR to record all the episodes that were running this weekend. So, today I sat down to watch them and I have to say, I really like this show. It is funny and brainless and entertaining, plus full of good old-fashioned pop music. This is what I look for in my children’s entertainment. Like I said, any of my friends know that I have a strange obsession with “tween” entertainment. I’m not sure what it is but I find it really entertaining. I like the stuff that is just upbeat and fun without any drama or anything to really keep up with. For example, this show has four episodes so far and they are all on my DVR. I watched them all today and I have no idea whether or not I watched them in order. I wouldn’t want that in every show but I sometimes enjoy shows where you don’t have to keep up with any sort of storyline or anything beyond the episode that you’re watching.

Anyway, one of the episodes of “Victorious” that I watched today centered around Tori, the main charcter, wanting to audition for a play at her school. Her teacher explained to her that every student in the school has to pass “The Bird Scene” before they could audition for any school production. So, she learned and rehearsed this “bird scene” and the next day she got up and performed it in front of the class. She did a perfectly fine job with this and afterwards asked if it was good and if she passed and the teacher said no, she would have to do it again the next day. So, the next day she came in with props and a backdrop and everything and performed the scene again. When she asked her teacher afterwards if she had passed, he said no and she would have to do it again the next day. She was really frustrated with this and couldn’t figure out what she was doing wrong. So, the next day she came in costume and built a set and even had a live bird for the bird in the scene. She performed the piece and asked the teacher afterwards if she had passed. He said no, and she was like, “With all due respect, I made a costume, I built a set, I got a bird and I am proud of this scene no matter what you say.” Then the teacher told her she had passed. The point of the whole thing was to teach her to be confident in her creative choices no matter what her teacher or any of her fellow students had to say. This hit pretty close to home for me. “Don’t Rain On My Parade” may be too big of a song for me to sing and it may have not been the best choice for me on the list of songs to choose from for the “Glee” audition but like I said, my emotional connection is probably my strongest suit in terms of singing and I chose the song that would best play up that quality. It was the right choice. It may not have been the right choice to even do the audition because I really wasn’t prepared for something like that but the creative choices I made with the video itself were definitely the right choices for me. At the same time, though, doing the audition was the right choice because had I not done that, I would have continued on thinking that, in terms of voice, I was all primed and ready to get started. That is simply not the case and it is definitely a good thing that I figured it out now, as opposed to somewhere else down the road when the stakes were considerably higher.

I spent the rest of the day doing laundry, practicing piano and playing around with makeup. As I mentioned in last night’s blog, there is a gold color in my new Urban Decay “Summer Of Love” palette that is exactly the glittery gold color I have been looking for, so I wanted to experiment with that a bit. I did a really cool, slightly subdued look using pink, purple and gold. I really love the way the look came out – it is really sparkly and fun. I am really obsessed with the gold in that palette – it is called “Maui Wowie,” and it is just perfect! I definitely intend to get a lot of use out of that particular shade. I also played around with the 24/7 Glide On Eye Pencil again today and it worked much better than it did yesterday. I am thinking I am going to try applying it with a pencil brush instead of using the actually pencil directly to see what kind of difference that may make. I also spent a little while this evening deep cleaning my makeup brushes, using a method I learned on YouTube with Extra Virgin Olive Oil and a bit of shampoo. It worked out really well and they have come out of the process as good as new! Anyway, it was a pretty lazy, uneventful day but I had fun and I learned a little something. So, overall, I consider the day a success! Now, though, it is 11:17pm and I need to get to bed. After all, I have to be up by 7:30am tomorrow to get ready for work in time to take a cab. My Mom was initially planning on getting back here in time to go to work by 9:30am but, as I had expected beforehand, she decided today that this wasn’t likely to happen. Fortunately, I have just enough cash in my wallet to pay for a cab to work so all is right with the world. Now, it is time for bed. Goodnight!