Chapter 157: Your Love’s A Drug

So, I am 157 days into this blog and, as I have mentioned previously, I am very proud of the fact that I have managed to maintain it this long and am confident I will be able to maintain it for the next 208 days, however I’d be lying if I said that there weren’t days where it isn’t a nuisance. No, I don’t mean the time it takes to write it or anything of that nature. The nuisance comes more from the fact that other people wind up reading it and oftentimes my words become misconstrued or people make assumptions about how I really feel based on things that I only hint at in here or whatever. The issue is that I am completely honest in this blog and I, for the most part, try to write it as if nobody else is reading it. The thing is, though, people are reading it. I know it’s not a TON of people but it is enough to make a little bit of a mess every now and then. Part of me thinks that I should be a little more conscious of who may be reading this blog when I post about certain things but it just isn’t my nature to be overly concerned about what other people will think of the things that I say or think and I’d really prefer not to compromise that part of myself. So, I will keep on being completely open and honest in this blog and I will simply deal with whatever may come from that. It is surprising to me, though, to learn that there are people following this whole thing. At the same time, though, it makes me very happy. It is just kind of an odd thing to be letting other people in on what goes on inside of my head, although I will admit that there is a LOT inside my head that doesn’t wind up making it into these posts. Still, I think that is kind of the beauty of keeping a blog – being able to share your perspective on the things that go on in your life with the rest of the world. It’s just odd because there have been three separate incidents of people reading the blog and taking things differently than I intend them over the course of this weekend. There have been quite a few of these incidents in the past but three happening in the course of two days is pretty odd. In any sense, that has not been the focus of this day and it will not be the focus of tonight’s blog.

I woke up this morning at 11:11am, which is kind of odd. I have never understood the whole concept of making a wish at 11:11 and don’t really know why people do that or what the story is behind it. I was a little too incoherent this morning to bother with a wish. I got up and did my morning routine of washing my face with Clean & Clear Morning Burst facial cleanser and brushing my teeth. I had put a load of laundry in the dryer last night before bed and had told myself a million and a half times before I went to bed to make sure to get it out when I woke up so it wouldn’t come out wrinkled. I was really tired when I went to bed last night, though, and I didn’t even do my evening face wash, with Yardley soap, and moisturizing, with some Clinique moisturizer, the name of which escapes me right now. When I got up this morning, like I said, I was pretty incoherent. I did wash my face but I didn’t moisturize this morning and I forgot to get my laundry out. Instead, I went straight for breakfast, which again consisted of Spaghetti-O’s, and sat down in front of the TV. I decided that, unlike yesterday, I was going to spend today doing nothing but relaxing in front of the TV. I figured since I caught up on my daily shows yesterday, like Oprah and “The View,” I would spend today watching scripted series. This meant all of my CW shows, like “Gossip Girl,” “90210,” and “Melrose Place.” I watched “Gossip Girl” first and I think I have figured out what has gone wrong with that show this season – they stopped being funny. Sure, it is an hour-long drama and not a comedy but they had this really great ability throughout the first two seasons to throw in humor to kind of lighten things up. It always seemed like the writers really understood that the whole concept of the show is really over the top and had a lot of fun with making light of that fact. This season, though, they have been much more focused on keeping things serious and trying to take their ridiculous, over the top storylines seriously. Still, some of the storylines they have pulled out in the past few episodes have been pretty great, especially those involved Taylor Momsen’s character, Jenny Humphrey, who I have always really liked. I think Taylor Momsen is one of the best actors on the show but has never really gotten her opportunity to shine because her storylines have a tendency to get buried in all the other characters stuff. I have long said that they need to do a spin-off series with Jenny as the main character, like the book series did. She is really an awesome, very appealing character portrayed by an awesome, very appealing actress who just isn’t being written to her full potential. Speaking of Taylor Momsen, though, she is also the frontwoman for a band called The Pretty Reckless, who I absolutely love based on the three songs of theirs I have heard. I am really excited for them to release their first album, which is supposed to happen sometime in 2010. They have a really cool, throwback sound reminiscent of bands from the early 90s grunge period like one of my all-time favorites, Hole. Also speaking of “Gossip Girl” stars making music, I am also extremely excited for the debut album from Leighton Meester. The first single from her album, released in October 2009, was a brilliant pop/dance track called “Somebody To Love.” It featured Robin Thicke and was absolutely gorgeous. It was really fun, upbeat and had a really cool fashion element to it, complete with a spoken word bridge in French. It is such a fun song and one of my favorite songs to have come out of 2009. The second single from the album is even better, though. It is called “Your Love’s A Drug,” and was just released last month. It is like “Somebody To Love” in the sense that it is also really upbeat, electronic and fun. Other than that, though, the songs are polar opposites. “Somebody To Love” has a much darker, more edgy and urban type pop sound while “Your Love’s A Drug” is much more spunky, bubblegum style pop. It just has a really joyous sound to it. I love that song so much and recommend everybody check it out on iTunes or wherever else you get music from. I am looking forward to very good things from Leighton’s album, which sadly doesn’t have an actual release date set at this point.

What does have a date set, on the other hand, is my brother’s wedding. That is taking place on June 5th. It seems kind of far away right now but at the same time, it really doesn’t seem that far away. My brother came over for a little while today and we talked a bit about it – he is picking out the outfits next weekend and I am pretty anxious to see how they turn out. He was telling me that the wedding colors are purple, pink and a turquoise blue type color. It sounds kind of 80s, which I am totally into and should have no problem working. After all, I already declared pink and purple my colors for spring so whatever I need to wear for the wedding will fit right in with what I am already wearing on an every day basis. I don’t know – I’m really excited for this whole thing. I need to start thinking soon about the theme of the speech I have to make at the reception and such. I’m not entirely sure what I am going to say exactly but I figure it should be something expressing how much my brother has grown up and how much of a positive force his fiancé has been in his life, with all of the changes I have seen in him since they have been together, etc. I want to make one of those speeches that will make people get a little misty-eyed. Well… maybe not. I don’t know what type of speech I am going to make, exactly, but I am confident that I will come up with something great between now and then. Would it be wrong of me to steal parts of Samantha’s speech at the rehearsal dinner in “Sex & The City: The Movie?” I’m just kidding. I would definitely like to inject some humor into my speech, though. I don’t know. Fortunately, I’ve got plenty of time to think about it in the meantime. It should be good.

I only spent about 15 minutes at the piano today, which isn’t bad but also isn’t great. In those 15 minutes, though, I have kind of slowly started to piece together playing both hands at the same time. It isn’t going the best it could but, like I said, I am slowly starting to put the two together. I can’t play them at a normal speed at this point because I have to concentrate too hard on where each hand should be with each note but I managed to play it pretty well at a really slow speed. That’s something, at least – it’s much better than where I was on Wednesday, when I had my last lesson. I am hoping that I will be able to impress Viktor a little bit with the progress that I have made at this week’s lesson. I am pretty impressed with the progress myself. I know I keep talking about this lately but I am really excited about even the most minute amount of progress being made on the piano – every little step forward I take just serves to remind me that I am going to make this work for me. I don’t have a single doubt in my mind at this point – I mean, I do have doubts but none of them are big enough to make me not feel confident that I am going to make this work. The piano is going to be a huge part of my fulfilling my destiny and it is really exciting to be taking the appropriate steps towards making my dreams come true. I just know that these piano lessons are going to lead me to writing the songs that will make up my first record and every record that I will write after that point. I am also really excited to continue making progress with the piano because I am excited at the prospect of taking other lessons once I have learned piano well enough. I am not sure what I want to do second, voice or guitar. I am already a really decent singer so I am less prone to think of doing that next, although I have gotten pretty out of practice in terms of real singing and am noticing more shortcomings with my vocals than I ever did before, so I am thinking that it may be the best idea to take voice lesson after piano. In fact, depending on my financial state a few months down the road, I am considering taking voice lessons before I finish with piano. If I could sort out taking voice the same night as piano I think I could easily make it work. Plus, I have been really considering trying out for “American Idol” this summer when the auditions take place and voice lessons could be very helpful in that venture. I don’t know – there’s a world of possibilities to be considered. I’ll figure it all out in good time.

For now, though, it is 11:01pm and I should probably get to bed. After all, tomorrow is the return to work. Fortunately, it is only a 4-day week for me. Still, I am not exactly looking forward to going back tomorrow. I am actually going in two hours late tomorrow, at 11:30am instead of 9:30am. Yes, I am ruining my shot at perfect attendance but I have a really good excuse – my Mom is out of town and I don’t have any cash at all. Normally, on the weekends when my Mom is out of town, I just take a cab to work Monday morning but without cash that just isn’t possible. So, instead, I am waiting until my Mom comes home and goes to work at 11:30am. No matter how good of an excuse it is, it is still an excuse – I do have other options, after all. I could just as easily walk to work. That could be my workout for the day, as well as my way to work. I already know that I’m not going to do that, though, so I am not going to sit here and kid myself that I might. I am going to wait until my Mom comes home and ride with her. Not only is that more appealing than walking because it doesn’t involve walking in this heat and getting all sweaty and shit before work but it also shaves 2 hours off of my work day, which is a very good thing. Like I said, it is only a 4-day week for me and I am very excited about that. I cannot wait until next weekend. I am already thinking of my trip to Ulta on the weekend and maybe going to see a movie with my Mom or something – I really want to see “The Last Song,” the new Nicholas Sparks novel-turned-film starring Miley Cyrus. One of my favorite Miley songs is used as the theme for the film, as well, which is kind of what makes it more appealing than usual. The song is called “When I Look At You,” and it is a beautiful ballad that I actually hope to cover at some point in the future once I know piano well enough to play it. It is a very simple little ballad about having somebody to turn to when life is getting you down. Speaking of Nicholas Sparks, who is one of my favorite authors of fiction, I am also planning a trip to Borders this weekend, I think. I need a few new books to read at work and there happen to be a few new books out right now that I would really like to read. RuPaul has a new book out called “Workin’ It: RuPaul’s Guide To Life, Liberty & The Pursuit Of Style,” which I am really excited to read. There’s also the new Cheslea Handler book, “Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang,” which I am really excited to read because I love Chelsea Handler. There is the second novel in Lauren Conrad’s “L.A. Candy” series, called “Sweet Little Lies,” which I am pretty excited about. I know what you’re thinking, “That’s gay.” I loved “L.A. Candy,” though. I thought it was very well written and a really fun little novel. It’s not life altering literature or anything but it’s a fun, quick read. Lastly, I have also wanted to read Jennifer Love Hewitt’s book, “The Day I Shot Cupid,” which is a self-help type book about love and relationships. I kind of feel like Jennifer Love Hewitt is a good person to take advice about relationships from because she has had a LOT of them in her life, so she should know the ins and outs of them. Sure, her relationships haven’t been the most successful but, as the saying goes, “you have to kiss a lot of frogs…” For now, though, the only thing I will be kissing is my pillow. It is definitely time for bed. Goodnight.